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墨書 Inktalez
Chapter Three
The night wind blew in gusts, gradually chilling my body as I tightened my coat around me, yet my mind remained a chaotic mess. After leaving him, I didn’t head straight home; instead, I wandered the streets for a long time, trying to sort through my thoughts.
Each step felt heavy, and every breath came with pain. I couldn’t bear the thought of going home or facing the empty room—the place that once held all my hopes for the future now felt like a prison for my soul.
He had been my only support, the partner with whom I envisioned building a future. But now, everything felt so foreign, so unreal. That letter had exposed the most secret cracks between us to the harsh light of day, pushing me toward an unavoidable crossroads.
My phone vibrated again; it was a call from my best friend. I hesitated for a moment but eventually answered.
“Where have you been? I just got back to the room and noticed you weren’t here. I called several times, but you didn’t pick up,” her voice was filled with concern.
I took a deep breath, trying to make my voice sound calm. “I went out for a walk to clear my head.”
“What happened?” She clearly didn’t believe my explanation. “You look like something’s wrong. Just tell me what’s going on; don’t make me worry.”
Knowing I could no longer hide the truth, I briefly recounted what had happened. There was a moment of silence on the other end before she erupted in anger. “How could he do this? To let you find out just before the wedding! That’s outrageous! What are you planning to do now?”
“I don’t know,” I replied weakly. “I really don’t know. I love him, but I’m not sure if we can continue.”
“You can’t be this lost,” her voice was firm and resolute. “You need time to think clearly, but you must not make any decisions in this state. The wedding can be postponed; don’t force yourself into something you haven’t fully considered.”
“Postpone the wedding…” I murmured, images of friends and family eagerly anticipating the event flashing through my mind along with all the arrangements already made. How could I tell them that everything might have to start over?
“Listen to me, while the wedding is important, your happiness is more important,” she interrupted my thoughts. “No one will blame you for postponing it, but if you marry without sorting everything out first, your future happiness could be truly ruined.”
Her words plunged me into deeper contemplation. Postponing the wedding might be the only rational decision I could make right now. But this decision required immense courage—was I truly ready to face all the consequences?
I resolved to stop hesitating. Looking up, I realized I had already walked close to home. I had to go back, confront myself, and face him. I couldn't evade this issue; I couldn't allow myself to proceed with the wedding under uncertain circumstances.
Standing at my front door, I took a deep breath and finally summoned the courage to push it open. The house was silent, as if waiting for me to make my final decision.
I sat on the sofa, reflecting on everything that had just transpired. His disappointed expression flashed in my mind, along with the painful words from the letter. I picked up my phone and composed a message:
"I need time to sort out my thoughts; I want to postpone tomorrow's wedding."
I stared at the message for a long time, my finger hovering over the send button, unable to press it. Once sent, this message would mean confronting all of it head-on. But I knew this was a decision I had to make.
Finally, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed the send button.
After sending the message, an unprecedented sense of relief washed over me. Although the future was filled with uncertainty and unknowns, at least I had made a choice that belonged to me.
Before long, he replied: "I understand you; I will respect your decision. We can face this together. When you’ve sorted everything out, we can talk again."
Reading his message, it felt as if a heavy stone in my heart had shifted slightly. Perhaps there was still room for negotiation. Maybe we could find a solution together.
But I knew that this night would be sleepless. What lay ahead remained unpredictable. Yet at least in this moment, I chose to confront rather than evade.
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