What is the meaning of living? Liu Lao Jiu looked at Gu Ping, noticing the glimmer of hope in his eyes. The carriage jolted as it rolled over a stone, continuing on its way, and Liu Lao Jiu sighed again.
He didn't know that Gu Ping had lowered his head, peering between his legs to see the hoofprints left by Liu Dong on the ground, occasionally spotting horse manure. He muttered to himself, "Keke, hate it!"
No, I don't deny it. Hate, selfishness—it's not that I want to live for myself. I don't deny it. It's because I want to seek revenge for those who died for me. I don't deny it; I want to live for that reason. Liu Lao Jiu poked Gu Ping in the chest.
Gu Ping looked at Liu Lao Jiu in shock. He had never considered the words Liu Lao Jiu spoke, nor had he ever seen him so serious, pointing at him and rebuking him, stripping away his selfishness without leaving any room for sentiment.
Gu Ping shook his head, wanting to refute him. He opened his mouth but couldn't produce any sound. He knew Liu Lao Jiu was wrong about Keke; such thoughts were ones he hadn't even realized he harbored himself.
People often do that—exhaust themselves searching for various excuses to mask their true feelings. No one wants to reveal their selfishness or lay bare their private motives; people tend to hide those difficult-to-voice thoughts and use flowery language to cover up their ugliness.
Perhaps even deities would not be exceptions to this rule, let alone someone like Gu Ping. So Gu Ping would act that way too; it didn't mean he lost his composure. Maybe that's just humanity's most genuine aspect.
He once resembled me, Liu Lao Jiu thought, ignoring Gu Ping's expression akin to a mute eating bitter herbs. He continued speaking, revealing that his surname was Liu, from the Liu Xia Royal Family.
Gu Ping stared at Liu Lao Jiu in disbelief, a suffocating sense of pressure washing over him. He gasped for air, never having imagined that Liu Lao Jiu could be from the Liu Xia Royal Family. No, how could an emperor name his son Old Nine?
Liu Lao Jiu smirked slightly and reassured him, "Don't worry; I've already moved against those who want me dead long ago. How could I still be here now?"
At that moment, there was no trace of the usual disheveled appearance or rambling in Liu Lao Jiu's eyes; every word struck home with such precision that Gu Ping found himself unable to retort. He nodded knowingly; he realized that the one who had been with him all along was indeed Liu Lao Jiu.
As a child, the emperor had sent him to Mok Ming Academy for training. His master discovered his talent during a trial in Dongshan when he and his classmates faced danger from a frenzied Spider Spirit. It was a fight for survival; he had fled desperately. At this point, Liu Lao Jiu paused, not continuing with the story. Later, his master had asked him why he wanted to live.
He said he sought revenge for his deceased classmate. Liu Lao Jiu shook his head at that, ignoring Gu Ping's surprised gaze, and continued speaking to himself. His master told him he had not recognized his own heart, which led to him being expelled from the academy. Later, he returned to the palace, had a quarrel with the emperor, and left, never to return since.
"Don't I hate it?" Gu Ping leaned weakly against the carriage wall, closing his eyes. He suddenly felt exhausted; it turned out he had not recognized himself. The responsibility he felt and the hatred he understood were merely excuses for wanting to live.
Yes, but that was not the most important reason. The real reason was whether he truly wanted to live at that time; he didn't know why. Liu Lao Jiu pointed at Gu Ping when he spoke those initial three words, emphasizing each one.
"And now? Now I am enlightened?" Gu Ping's voice was small, as if that realization had drained all his strength.
Before, he was not enlightened; now he was. Liu Lao Jiu rested his legs on Gu Ping's shoulders, making him look at him. He spoke earnestly, insisting that Gu Ping should not avoid this truth. Everyone wants to live; the reasons for wanting to live should not simply be about survival. Wanting to live is not wrong, is it? Just like I mentioned that Ergou—there are those singers; regardless of how they live, those ordinary people struggle to survive. Wanting to live is not wrong; if I do not confront my own heart and seek excuses or cover-ups while selfishly wanting to live, then isn't that what everyone desires?
Gu Ping was deeply shocked by Liu Lao Jiu's words. He had not expected Liu Lao Jiu to be part of the royal family or a disciple of Mok Ming Academy. He certainly did not anticipate Liu Lao Jiu would articulate such profound thoughts.
No, wanting to live is not wrong; everyone desires it. Why shouldn't he? He just wanted to find some reason for it—any excuse would suffice. Pretending to be a good person? No, that would only seem hypocritical.
The reasons for wanting to live are many: perhaps for a wife and children, perhaps for a father or mother, or perhaps for dreams and ambitions. But if I say I want to live for the whole world, that might seem hypocritical.
Living—Gu Ping now simply wanted to live without complications. As for why he wanted it—perhaps fear? No one can face death without fear, can they? Seeking immortality through cultivation isn't it about escaping the suffering of the mortal world? Isn't it because one wishes to become stronger? But what could be a more noble reason?
Many in cultivation speak of Han Xuantian and Dong Cang, yet the latter part of their statements might just be trivialities. Immortals are long-lived; who can obstruct their path? That leads only to deep-seated enmity and hatred. If I die and they live—that's the Immortal Path; in the Great Dao, everyone is equal—even immortals cannot escape the fundamental hatred and selfish desires of this world.
He wanted to live. Gu Ping suddenly found himself somewhat ridiculous; clearly, he desired life out of selfishness and had dragged innocent people like Ergou into this mess. What right did he have to claim vengeance for such individuals?
But still, he wanted to live. Gu Ping looked at Liu Lao Jiu; he somewhat understood Liu Lao Jiu's meaning—living is just a single chance we get, isn't it?
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