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墨書 Inktalez
My homeroom teacher accompanied me to change my train ticket to Beijing, where my school is Peking University. As the train began ticket checks, I said goodbye to my teacher.
Holding my hand, my teacher reminded me to call if anything came up over there and to take care of myself. Listening to those caring words made my heart ache. They weren't family, yet they treated me better than my own family.
When I arrived at the school and took out my admission notice during registration, I discovered that there was a thousand yuan tucked inside the document. At that moment, I couldn't hold back my tears; they streamed down my face uncontrollably, startling the teachers and students around me.
I was led to a chair on the side, and a teacher arranged for two classmates to keep me company. They asked with concern, "What's wrong? Did you forget your admission notice?"
"It's fine; I have my ID," I replied.
"Yes, there's a new regulation this year," one of them said.
"It's okay; don't cry!"
Through my blurred vision, I saw their anxious expressions, which only made me cry louder.
A senior took my luggage to the side of the road so it wouldn't block others, while another senior gently embraced me and patted my back, saying, "Don't cry, don't cry."
After letting out my emotions, I said pitifully, "I don't have tuition fees."
"The tuition fees are lost!" the senior exclaimed in surprise.
"My parents won't give me tuition fees!"
"What!" The senior looked at me with a mix of disbelief and concern.
"I want to apply for financial aid," I said, looking at them with pleading eyes. To them, it seemed that if they didn't agree, I would continue crying endlessly.
I know I am despicable. After crying, I looked around at my classmates who were whispering among themselves. In my mind, I was thinking about how to take advantage of this favorable situation to get what I wanted.
I admit I have my own little schemes, but I have no regrets. Senior Sister stayed with me while the senior reported the situation to the teacher. After checking my ID and confirming my results, the teacher had a private chat with me. I only mentioned that my family favored boys over girls. I didn't go into too much detail; perhaps it was because family shame should not be aired, or maybe it was my pitiful insecurity wanting to preserve a shred of dignity.
I received a scholarship, and even though I became famous throughout the school for crying during registration, I didn't mind their gossip. Because I didn't care. The people I cared about were my younger brother, Han Ning, Xianyu, and Ms. Xin.
As long as it doesn't hurt others, I will use every condition I have to benefit myself unless it affects my life. During the New Year, I didn't go home and had Ms. Xin deliver a letter to my brother for me. In the letter, I wrote that I had no degree, was still young, and was inexperienced in work, earning only a thousand yuan a month. After deducting four hundred for rent and utilities, there was barely enough left for living expenses.
It wasn't until I started working that I realized how important education is. I urged him to study hard and get into a good university. It wasn't that I intentionally kept the truth from him. Very few people knew about the competition prize; the teachers wouldn't say anything, and neither would my two friends. The only potential problem could come from my brother.
He didn't know about our parents' malice toward me; after all, they treated him well. He wasn't trying to cause trouble, but he might inadvertently say something wrong. Once our parents found out, they would come to school to confront me.
In my sophomore year, two classmates and I partnered to open a milk tea shop on campus.
The school has a subsidy policy for students with excellent results. Our shop has no rent to pay. As a result, the three of us are self-sufficient, and the bubble tea business is doing quite well. It can cover our basic expenses. However, in return, we lost our scholarship quota, which was given to other students in need.
Having not returned home for two years, my younger brother seems to have learned something. Ms. Xin mentioned that my brother's results have started to improve, and he has become more polite and considerate. The last time I ran into him, he inquired about my situation, but thanks to my reminder, the teacher didn’t say anything.
In my junior year, the teacher called me to say that my brother was sick and asked if I wanted to come back to see him. I thought about it for a night and picked up the second-hand phone I had bought for three hundred. Eventually, I dialed that familiar number.
"Hello, who is this?" It was my mother’s voice.
"It’s me," I replied flatly.
My mother exploded with anger. "You actually know how to call! What have you been doing all these years? You've been working for so long and haven't sent any money back."
"I don’t have an education; what good job can I find? Who is to blame for that?"
"Then come back and work at that factory again; at least you can make three thousand a month."
I thought about the factory where I used to work. They said it was three thousand a month, but that was for fifteen-hour days and only for experienced workers. I worked there for two months and only made one thousand eight hundred in a month.
I didn’t want to waste time on this matter. "How is my brother's illness?"
"We don't have enough money for medical expenses; you need to send some back."
"I don’t have any money!" I suppressed my anger; without news of my brother, I wanted to hang up.
I was preparing to give money to Ms. Xin and ask her to find a way to pass it on to my brother. I couldn’t just ignore him, but I also couldn’t let my parents know that I had money.
Ms. Xin called me, saying that my brother wasn't in serious trouble; he just had a cold and wouldn't need much money for treatment. She hadn't given me any money yet, but the teacher had transferred some to my card.
A few days later, the teacher sent me a picture of my brother's medical report for me to see. It turned out to be a tumor.
"The last time I went, it was just a simple cold. Your parents were worried and had him undergo a full check-up, and this is what happened!" The teacher felt very guilty.
"It's okay, teacher. No one wanted this to happen! I’ll take a leave of absence and go back." Given the seriousness of the situation, I needed to see it with my own eyes to feel at ease.
"But about the money, you’ll have to make a trip!" The teacher sighed. "It's not that I don't want to help; it's just that your parents are too afraid to tell your brother the truth. He only knows he has a severe cold and that he has pneumonia, which requires hospitalization for a while."
If it’s just pneumonia, it shouldn’t cost too much, so there’s no excuse for giving my brother money. If I send it directly to my parents, they would definitely cling to the teacher for more help, trying to take advantage of her kindness.
I clenched my fists. "It's fine, teacher. I'll go back and see him. I'll make decisions based on the situation."
I was prepared to take a hit financially; money could be earned again as long as my brother could get better.
Xianyu's school knew I was coming back, so she took leave to accompany me. She said it was hard for busy people like us to meet.
She also wanted to see my brother since he was sick. I knew she was worried about me being bullied; over the past two years, she had learned some self-defense techniques and had done quite well.
She often joked during our calls that she could be the hero saving the beauty. And now, wasn’t she doing just that?
When we arrived at the hospital and inquired about the room number at the nurse's station, I asked them how serious the patient's condition was and what illness he had.
The nurse replied that it was just ordinary pneumonia and that a few days of antibiotics would clear it up; it wasn't too complicated.
Xianyu and I exchanged glances, and she whispered, "Let’s go."
I leaned closer to her and rested my head on her shoulder. "Since we’re here, let’s go see Li Ming!"
The medical report Ms. Xin gave me was fake; she wouldn’t lie to me—my parents must have deceived her instead.
"Your parents?" She gently patted my head with concern.
"It's fine, I'm not the little girl I used to be!" I said nonchalantly.
Only those who care about me are worth my concern. Those who don't have long been cast aside by me.
"Ah, the Iron Lady! Your dream! I know!" Xianyu laughed, filled with joy.
Yes! A body of steel and a heart of kindness.
We snuggled our way into the hospital room.
"Sis!" Li Ming's voice was a bit hoarse.
"I heard you were sick, so we came to see you!" I pulled a chair for Xianyu to sit in while I perched on the edge of the bed, taking my brother's hand and examining his face.
Qianyun chimed in from the side, "Just came to check on you."
When someone is seriously ill, their body can seem lifeless.
I didn't know how I could discern that.
Since childhood, I had learned to read people's expressions and over time, I became adept at it.
I shared some amusing stories with my brother, things friends would talk about.
After half an hour, I prepared to leave.
My brother was seventeen; he could take care of himself.
I didn't want to see my parents—not out of fear, but simply because it would be troublesome.
Yet I still couldn't avoid them.
As I stepped outside, I saw them in the corridor, looking as if they had just arrived but likely having waited for me for quite some time.
I thought to myself: They've gotten clever, knowing how to send word ahead.
Ignoring them, I took Xianyu's hand and walked straight ahead.
Xianyu whispered, "They're following us."
"That's normal." After all, they were putting on this act to try and reel me back in. Plus, they didn't want my brother to know.
Sure enough, as we exited the inpatient department and turned a corner, they quickly caught up and blocked my path.
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