The day I received my university acceptance letter, I struggled to suppress the overwhelming tide of emotions within me. I knew I had been reborn.
In my previous life, I had fought like a puppet on a predetermined path, ultimately leading to my demise. This time, I would take control of my own destiny. Without hesitation, I changed my first choice from the military academy to Northwest University of Technology.
My teacher was surprised by my decision. " Fen, have you thought this through? Have you considered Ma Hongkuan's future?"
I shook my head. "Teacher, this is an era of free love. My engagement with Ma Hongkuan is a remnant of feudal society that should have been discarded long ago."
The teacher nodded. "I'm glad you have such awareness. Fen, do your best; I'll be waiting for you at university."
In my previous life, I had been filled with joy as I prepared for college. But on the day I was set to leave, Ma Hongkuan came to find me with his acceptance letter from the military academy.
He said, " Fen, I've been accepted into the military academy."
I was overjoyed. "Really? Does that mean we can't attend the same school?"
He nodded. "So, I don't want to go to university anymore. I want to join the army."
" Fen, can you wait for me?"
"I'll marry you after graduation."
I naively agreed. Later, I got married. Yet, I never had the chance to attend university. Marriage and children followed instead.
My life has been confined to a small family. Ma Hongkuan left for the military shortly after staying at school. We are separated by distance. He left his hometown and has achieved success in his career. Niu Xinran, however, closely follows him, constantly moving with the children. And what about me? I stay at home, serving the elderly and taking care of the children. When my in-laws fall ill, it is I who tend to their every need. When the children are sick, I spend sleepless nights watching over them. Thus, I grow old in solitude and die a miserable death.
Before I die, my son advises me, "Mom, you should divorce Dad." I can hardly believe it. "What nonsense are you talking about?" He looks at me stubbornly. "I'm not talking nonsense. You both don't deserve to be my parents." "You are a weak and selfish mother, and he is a heartless father." "You don't deserve it."
I refuse to accept this. I spent twenty years finally getting close to Ma Hongkuan. I outlasted his first wife and drove away his first lover. After finally becoming his wife, how could I let go? My in-laws' paralysis is something I care for day and night. When my son falls gravely ill, I pray fervently for his recovery. Ma Hongkuan and Niu Xinran are thriving in their careers, basking in success, while I am worn out and plagued by illness.
Even so, I did not let go.
Years passed, and once again, my son urged me to get a divorce. I was so furious that I suffered a heart attack and collapsed on the bed, unable to move. He never looked back, slamming the door behind him with force. I cried out, pleading for him to give me another chance, but he ignored me completely.
In despair, I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks. I felt grateful; I had been reborn. I returned to the days before marrying Ma Hongkuan. This time, I would change my fate. I would no longer be a Puppet or a Victim. I would take control of my destiny and never repeat the same mistakes.
Back home, I hid my acceptance letter and started cooking. While preparing the meal, I circled the date on the calendar for next month when I would report to university. How wonderful it was; in just a month, I would be free.
Just as the food was ready, Ma Hongkuan returned home. Shortly after, Niu Xinran came in, holding her daughter’s hand.
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