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The head of the family had instructed that the delivery should be made at six thirty the next morning, and they had chosen seven o'clock as the auspicious time for God of Joy. Aside from us, who would know anything about auspicious timings? Huang Mao and I indeed heard an elderly voice. I wasn't afraid of this kind of new ghost; firstly, I had Master Copper Seal and Azure Dark Sword with me, and secondly, I considered myself somewhat of an expert in these matters.
According to the records in Mausoleum Secrets, if a ghost did not die a violent death, it generally wouldn't harm anyone. Such ghosts exist in a soul-like state, and if they wish to manifest, they can be seen and heard. After experiencing these twenty eerie events, I felt no fear towards this kind of new ghost. In contrast, Huang Mao was so scared he nearly wet himself.
So, I stopped the car, climbed into the back seat, lit three sticks of incense, and knocked on the coffin. "Sir! Please be so kind as to refrain from frightening people. If you agree, please knock four times on the coffin!" Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Four knocks echoed from inside the coffin, confirming that he agreed. After getting back in the car, I reassured Huang Mao a few times.
After that, nothing unusual happened in the car, and we didn't encounter any wandering spirits or ghosts along the way. We arrived at Hukou Village half an hour earlier than expected.
Huang Mao and I parked in front of Old Dong's villa. Suddenly, someone burst out from the security booth and shouted, "Hey! What are you doing? Stop! Can't you see 'Visitor Registration'?" As he spoke, he banged on an aluminum sign that read "Visitor Registration."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I smiled apologetically from the driver's seat; that sign was in my blind spot, so I hadn't seen it.
"You can't see such big letters? What are your eyes for?" The guard's attitude was arrogant as he barked, "Why are you still standing there? Come over and register! Do you even know where this is? You can't just wander in!"
I was quite displeased; registering was fine, but there was no need for such rude remarks. If it weren't for delivering God of Joy, I wouldn't even be here. Truly a case of meeting a difficult ghost after encountering an easy king!
Seeing me dazed for a moment, the guard yelled at me again, "What are you still doing? Come over and register!"
Huang Mao's emotional intelligence and IQ were both low; upon hearing this, his temper flared up and he was ready to charge forward to fight. "Damn it! I'm someone important in Damao Town. How dare you threaten me?"
"Threaten you? What do you want? Rules are rules; just come over and register!"
"I'm here to deliver God of Joy!" I wanted to avoid any delays and didn't want to get entangled with this guy any further.
"What God of Joy, Six Gods? That kind of cheap perfume? Our cleaning staff doesn't even use that!" The guard looked at me disdainfully. He thought to himself, "I've seen this trick many times before; every time someone tries to sneak in under the pretense of delivering something."
No security guard would dare to be so arrogant; those who enter the Dong Family estate are either wealthy businessmen or the children of officials. Never has there been someone like this, a scruffy character driving a dilapidated van through the front gate. He didn’t look like a delivery person at all; he resembled a laborer coming to collect wages. If the security guard didn’t stop someone like him, who would he stop?
“If you want to protest, go to the government! If you want to jump off a building, go jump off the Oriental Pearl Tower!” The security guard was clearly losing his patience. “I’ve seen plenty of people like you! No pass, no entry!” We called the Dong Family but got nothing but voicemail; no one answered.
“Hey! Brother, are we really afraid of him? Let’s show them Mrs. Dong’s pass!” Even Huang Mao knew that reasoning wouldn’t work.
“You want a pass, huh?” I felt uncomfortable inside. As I pulled out the pass, I discreetly slipped a thin needle between my fingers. While handing over the pass, I jabbed it into the security guard's wrist at a pressure point. He took the pass and frowned, clearly trying to find fault with it. He raised his eyebrows and squinted, but with black ink on white paper and a bright red seal, he couldn’t find any issues.
“Ah! … So you really are here for deliveries.”
“Then why aren’t you letting us in?”
“Because you still need to register!” The security guard’s nose was almost crooked from anger; he felt humiliated in front of two scruffy characters. His words were stumbling: “I’ve seen plenty of delivery people; no matter who they are, they all have to register when they get here!” He thought to himself, “If I can’t deal with others, can’t I deal with you?”
I shook my head and smiled bitterly. I thought, “Don’t push me to take action; if I do, even I will be scared!”
“Even if Wang Laozi came today, he would have to register!”
I felt particularly displeased; if I wasn’t happy, neither should he be. I drove out of the villa area and took out some yellow paper from my backpack. I tore it into a human shape and inserted a silver needle into the Paper Man's hairline at the brow point. Forming a hand gesture for Five Thunder Fingers, I chanted “Ha! Strike!” while stomping my foot on the ground.
I drove back to the villa gate. The security guard was looking around proudly. When he saw my car return, he grabbed an electric baton, seemingly ready to take action. I thought to myself, “You’re making me unhappy; today I’ll make you lose face!” I formed my gesture again and pulled on the Paper Man’s arms; when I tugged on its left arm, the security guard moved his left arm as well. I flicked my finger at his head, and he swung his fist right into his own face. I pulled at both of his arms until his clothes came off one by one until he stood there completely naked.
“What are you doing instead of guarding the gate?” a voice shouted from behind!
“Brother-in-law, I think I've been possessed! Please help me!”
"You bastard, not only are you possessed, but you're also lewd! You've completely ruined my reputation!" The middle-aged man was clearly furious as he threw off his outer coat and tossed it at the other man.
Huang Mao was nearly laughing himself to tears. Seeing that I had vented enough of my anger, I decided to retract my spell. The security guard could move freely now and hurriedly put on his clothes, his face flushed all the way to his neck.
I parked the car outside the villa and checked my watch; it was only six fifteen. The area around the villa was eerily quiet, with not a single person in sight. This family was strange; they were supposed to be receiving the old man's spirit back home, yet there wasn't a soul around. I thought to myself, "In wealthy families, there are always many rules. I might as well take a nap first!"
I lay back in the car and fell into a deep sleep, only to be jolted awake by a loud banging on the window. Over twenty security guards, wielding batons, charged towards me with fierce expressions. Without hesitation, they tried to drag me out of the car. "Stay still! Don't move! I've seen you aren't good news; my electric baton doesn't recognize people!"
Huang Mao was also startled awake and shouted, "We're here to deliver Boss Dong's God of Joy!"
"Bah! Our Boss Dong is alive and well; where did this God of Joy come from?" The security guards were indeed unaware that Old Master Dong had passed away. With burials like this, they would quietly bury him first and then buy a cremation certificate later. With so many eyes around, it was natural that the security guards weren't privy to such information.
"Respect the dead; you can eat whatever you want, but don't speak carelessly!" I stared at this ridiculous fellow, recalling his earlier embarrassing antics, and couldn't help but laugh.
"You think it's funny? I see you won't shed tears until you see the coffin! Dare to act tough here? If I don't teach you a lesson today, you'll never know how to write 'death'!" One of the security guards swung his shoulder and raised his baton to strike me!
"Smack!"
"Ouch..."
Before the guard's baton could come down, I planted my left foot firmly on the ground and kicked up with my right foot, landing a blow to his abdomen. He was sent flying three or four meters away, landing on the ground while clutching his stomach and rolling around in pain, howling loudly.
My temper had completely erupted; I could no longer tolerate it. Since I was born, I had never encountered such unreasonable and persistent individuals. They were far more troublesome than the Jealous Woman Ghost or Ghost Infant. However, no matter how tough these security guards were, they were still just people. I had fought against Iron Corpses and even slain a Corpse King before. With my current skills, dealing with this security guard would be a piece of cake.
"Surround him! Don't let him escape!" shouted a middle-aged man who was the brother-in-law of one of the guards, hopping up and down in anger. He thought to himself, "How dare you act up on my turf? You're still too green!"
"Kid, open your eyes and see clearly, is this a place for you to cause trouble!"
"Yellow Hair, let's go!" I was fuming. It was already six-thirty, and the person sent to pick up God of Joy had yet to appear. Angrily, I jumped into the car. With these bastards in front of me, I had a hundred ways to deal with them.
Seeing our car start, the group of security guards surrounded us—twenty or thirty of them—looking like they wanted to eat us alive. I shouted, "Yellow Hair, drive! If I don't make them cry and beg us to come back today, I won't be surnamed Xia!"
Yellow Hair angrily took the wheel and stepped on the gas. The villa's gate had already been closed; we couldn't get out. Gripping my Azure Dark Sword, I glared at the crowd with a fierce look and sneered, "Bullying with power!" I planned to teach this bunch a lesson.
"This kid is so arrogant! So arrogant!"
When the crowd saw me holding the Azure Dark Sword, they jumped around from a distance, not daring to approach.
In feng shui, buildings are referred to as yang houses, while tombs for the dead are called yin houses. Old Dong's villa is a typical "Dragon True Cave Site", capable of absorbing the essence of the earth to benefit its inhabitants. The characteristic of a true dragon site is that the soil has a Tai Chi aura. The entire feng shui of the yang house is as harmonious as the Yin-Yang Fish.
I was positioned right in the eye of the Tai Chi's Black Fish. All I needed to do was set up a Maze Formation in its eye. This would make this group feel as if they were trapped in a maze. Without hesitation, I laid down the Maze Formation. An Eerie Energy was released instantly, and a thick White Mist enveloped the area. The twenty or thirty security guards stumbled around like blind men, occasionally bumping into each other or two Bear Men hugging each other as if they were truly lost.
I only wanted to teach them a lesson, so the Maze Formation would last about ten minutes. That was enough time for me to open the villa's gate and drive far away!
Not long after driving off, my phone rang. I answered it casually. A voice on the other end sounded close to tears: "Hello! Big Brother, no, Ancestor, I'm begging you, please come back!" It was that security guard's brother-in-law. I chuckled coldly, "Sure, come crying to beg me!"
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