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墨書 Inktalez
Early on the twenty-first day, everyone stepped out of the guest house.
At Guanyin Temple, monks were bustling in and out for their morning prayers. Devotees had also arrived early to pay their respects to the Bodhisattva.
However, as they looked around, they couldn't find Old Monk. Inquiring with others yielded no information about his whereabouts.
"It seems the Abbot left early this morning to visit an old friend on the nearby Black Wind Mountain."
Faced with this unexpected news, everyone fell silent.
Why did he leave?
With Old Monk gone, they couldn't delay their journey waiting for his return. They could only pack their belongings with disappointment and set off again.
Not long after they departed, on Black Wind Mountain not far from Guanyin Temple, the Black Bear Spirit was yawning as he opened the door for Old Monk.
"Hey, what are you knocking on my door for so early?"
To his surprise, as soon as the door swung open, the Black Bear Spirit looked as if he had seen a ghost.
"What the hell, you... what is this!"
Old Monk, dressed flamboyantly to match his exquisite skirt, had even applied a touch of blush.
At first glance, the Black Bear Spirit felt as if he had been struck by Cupid's arrow, his dark fur standing on end.
"Darling..." Old Monk winked playfully, his smile growing wider.
"I... I... What the hell..."
Blood was pouring from his mouth and nose, but the Black Bear Spirit had completely lost focus on that.
He picked up Old Monk and bit down hard on his face a few times, exclaiming, "Darling, you look more beautiful!"
"Of course! This is a dress worn by the Tang Dynasty Empress..." Old Monk replied with a sense of pride.
The Black Bear Spirit was momentarily stunned by this revelation. Then, holding Old Monk close, he stepped into the cave.
He placed Old Monk on the stone slab where he usually slept and finally asked, "Is it true? You really got your hands on a dress worn by the Tang Dynasty Empress?"
"Why would I lie to you? If you don't believe me, just lift it up and smell for yourself," Old Monk retorted angrily at the Black Bear Spirit's skepticism.
"Alright, I'll give it a sniff!"
Upon receiving the invitation, the Black Bear Spirit raised his paw and gently lifted one corner of Old Monk's armpit, then leaned in to take a whiff.
"What does it smell like?" Old Monk asked with some anticipation.
"...Body odor!"
Old Monk: "..."
Seemingly realizing something was off, the Black Bear Spirit scooped up Old Monk's frail body, turned him upside down, and lowered his bear face closer.
"Poof!"
A loud fart echoed through Black Wind Mountain, accompanied by the occasional sound of falling rocks from outside.
The burly body of the Black Bear Spirit swayed unsteadily, its pair of bear eyes rolling back to reveal the whites.
"You... your fart... is so toxic!"
As soon as the words left its mouth, the Black Bear Spirit collapsed, lifeless.
The Old Monk, who had just gotten up, was stunned, completely unaware of what had just happened.
He had merely dressed in a beautiful skirt to impress his beloved; why had the bear died?
"Toxic fart? That’s impossible!"
The Old Monk refused to believe the Black Bear Spirit's warning before its demise. He lowered his head and took a deep breath from the source of the foul smell.
It wasn't until his mouth and nose swelled and his gaze lost focus that he realized the truth. The Black Bear Spirit hadn’t lied to him. Its fart was indeed toxic!
"Poof!"
In its final moments, it couldn’t help but let out another foul fart, which knocked over the spider poison that had been woven at the cave entrance before it finally fell.
The stench spread from within the cave to its entrance, causing the lush greenery outside to wither instantly. A few passing birds and insects dropped dead in an instant.
The stench spread through the air, transforming into a deadly poison.
In less than a tea break, the entire Black Wind Mountain was engulfed in the foul odor.
Flowers and trees withered and died, while birds and beasts fell one after another.
After more than an hour, Black Wind Mountain had turned into a desolate wasteland, a barren expanse of land.
Of course, Li Hong and the others had no idea what had happened on Black Wind Mountain.
"Monkey, what exactly did you do?" Peng couldn't help but ask after walking a few steps.
This monkey had been adamant before, but now that they had left Guanyin Temple, he still wouldn't relent.
Sun Wukong helplessly explained, "It's nothing much. I just cast a poison spell on my monkey hair. Then I used this hair to make a skirt."
"What good is this poison spell?" Li Hong pressed further.
"If it were anywhere else, it wouldn't be of much use."
The monkey chuckled to himself as he explained, "The key is that I placed this poison spell right on my backside. One fart could kill an entire mountain; that's no big deal."
"…"
What else could Li Hong do? He could only kneel and silently send a message with '666'.
"Alas, this foolish master is indeed a high monk, but it's a pity that his intentions are not pure; he is destined to never achieve true enlightenment," Golden Cicada lamented.
Peng retorted, "Empress, you are being quite biased. With three thousand paths, who says he cannot attain enlightenment?"
"Though you say that, I have yet to see anyone succeed on the Cross-Dressing Path," Golden Cicada replied with a smile.
Sun Wukong curiously asked, "What about Guanyin Bodhisattva?"
Golden Cicada was left speechless.
Although Sun Wukong's example was not the best, Golden Cicada truly couldn't find anything to refute him.
"It seems everyone has their own aspirations," Golden Cicada concluded.
Li Hong pouted and said, "Actually, I think this foolish master is deeply knowledgeable in Buddhist principles."
"How so?" Golden Cicada asked with curiosity.
"After all, he is the Abbot of Guanyin Temple; this cross-dressing... isn't it part of the past?"
Golden Cicada was taken aback for a moment before covering his mouth and laughing.
"Enough now; we shouldn't mock the Bodhisattva."
As he interrupted the banter with a smile, Golden Cicada looked ahead on the road and softly asked, "Do you know what lies ahead?"
Without waiting for Li Hong to spoil anything, Sun Wukong looked at a map and said, "Empress, it's a tourist spot called Gao Lao Zhuang."
Li Hong opened his mouth, ready to reveal something, but was ruthlessly interrupted by the monkey. He glanced at the map in the monkey's hand and asked, "Why do you have this thing?"
However, the monkey ignored Li Hong and continued to play with his staff.
"Wow, we're already at Gao Lao Zhuang?" Peng exclaimed in delight, pulling out a red booklet to check.
"Hey, my villa is right here! Come on, Empress, let's rest at my big villa tonight."
Golden Cicada also smiled and nodded, saying, "Alright then, we can also see the wife His Majesty promised you."
"Ah, I almost forgot about that, Empress! His Majesty promised me a wife. By the way, what was her name again?" Peng said with a frown.
Li Hong quietly reminded him from the side, "Gao Cuilan!"
"Yes, yes, Gao Cuilan!" Peng exclaimed as he slapped his thigh, clearly recalling her name.
Sun Wukong walked to the front of the group without saying a word.
Sha Wujing, who had been rather inconspicuous until now, also followed along while carrying luggage.
"What use do I have for this iron rod?"
"What does it matter if I have this length?"
“Monkey King…” Sha Wujing said awkwardly.
“What are you doing here?” The Monkey was somewhat surprised.
Sha Wujing had always had little presence; he had almost forgotten about him.
Sha Wujing hesitated and said, “Well, Monkey King, you know the Emperor promised to give you three thousand Mother Monkeys…”
“What do you really want?” Sun Wukong asked irritably.
“Well… um… could you give me one?”
Sun Wukong: “…”
Looking at Sha Wujing's eager, dark face, it felt strangely pitiful.
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