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墨書 Inktalez
One day in mid-August, just as I was bringing home the last straw from the fields, I received an unexpected letter. Upon seeing the elegant and familiar handwriting, my heart raced. I quickly went to my room, found a corner where no one was paying attention, and unfolded the letter to read:
" brother Biaosong: When I heard the news, I could hardly believe it. Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn't tell if it was sorrow or something else. Yes, how could I believe that with your intelligence and usual performance, you could not pass the Pre-examination? It is astonishing that a student like you, who ranks among the top ten in the school, failed to qualify for the Pre-examination. I imagine even you cannot believe it. Yet it is true; this must be a significant blow for you. However, since this has become a reality, we must face it squarely and reflect on the reasons for your failure to learn from it.
From my analysis, your failure primarily stems from 'arrogance.' Generally speaking, arrogant people are quite intelligent, but some clever individuals often suffer due to their arrogance. Excessive pride leads to arrogance, and the arrogant are bound to fail. As the saying goes, 'Cleverness can lead to one's downfall,' how regrettable!
Regarding your future plans, I heard that you intend to abandon science for literature or even quit writing altogether to become a farmer, aiming to live a life like Zhuge Liang in seclusion and become a wealthy farmer in ten years. I believe this idea is unrealistic. To be disheartened by one exam failure and shift from arrogance to self-doubt is reckless regarding such an important matter in your life. If you were to become a 'deserter,' it would be surprising if you didn't turn into a 'traitor' in the revolutionary ranks because you lack perseverance. It is often said that strong motivation can produce incredible willpower. Moreover, your science grades are not poor; with hard work, you can catch up. Do you think studying literature means avoiding hardship or never facing failure? What astonishes me most is your desire to quit writing and bury yourself; that is terrifying!
I do not understand how you can be so arrogant and even somewhat delusional. Are you willing to let over ten years of hard work go to waste? Do you not feel any pain over this? At such a young age, wanting to emulate ancient sages by living anonymously in a 'paradise' seems too naive; it does not suit your character nor reality. As your sister, I must advise you: You must forge your own path in life. Once you've determined the right direction, you should proceed steadily and resolutely step by step toward success. If you give up halfway or waver between choices, you will achieve nothing—remember this!
I believe you should continue your studies; with your talent, you can certainly gain admission to a key university. Remember that being part of a Wealthy Household is not as easy as we write about in essays.
I have rambled on quite a bit here; some parts may have been too direct, but I hope you'll forgive me. My only intention in writing this letter is to provide even a shred of help; that would satisfy me greatly.
Lastly, let me share a line of poetry: 'When mountains are exhausted and waters run dry, one doubts there’s no way out; yet amidst dark willows and blooming flowers lies another village.' Wishing you happiness in life and progress in your studies!"
I read the four-page letter three times over, feeling as if something had crushed my illusions—the last straw—and silently gritted my teeth.
Before this letter arrived, I had also received one from Fourth Uncle who had come back from the county town. I was left staring blankly at one particular passage for quite some time:
Regarding resuming classes, I heard from Fourth Aunt that you wanted to go to Yizhong School. I inquired with some leaders there about this matter; it seems quite difficult because you did not originally attend Yizhong School. They are unclear about your background; they can only be convinced by your grades. If you want to go there, according to their tone, you'll have to wait until they admit students who failed their college entrance exams and those who graduated from their school.
On another note, your previous school, Third Middle School, has decided to offer Makeup Classes. Principal Zhang Caiyun asked me to inform you that Third Middle School welcomes you back.
Earlier on during senior year, our homeroom teacher Xie Guoqing, Physics Teacher Deng Lianhua, Chinese Language Teacher Zeng Xiangbo, as well as cousin Long Yuejun and former homeroom teacher Zeng Jiqing all sent messages welcoming me back to Third Middle School and urged me to register quickly so as not to waste time or fall behind academically.
But just as my sister mentioned in her letter—my arrogance led me to declare before the Pre-examination that if I didn’t pass it, I wouldn’t return to classes again. It seemed embarrassing now to go back to Third Middle School!
I truly do not know what mindset I had at that time; decades later when reflecting on those circumstances—especially revisiting my sister's letter—I realize that even though I cherished it like some kind of symbol back then, I did not truly understand its meaning at all. The candid analysis of my failure probably seemed like empty preaching at the time; I did not take it seriously.
Fortunately, my youthful arrogance or delusion finally bowed before reality. My sister's mention of Wealthy Household finally struck a chord with me: I've never measured my future by how much money one has (even decades later). Although there’s a sentiment of worldly concern within me, parental advice must always be heeded.
As school approached, news from my brothers became the final straw that solidified my decision: Among the six brothers doing well together, Liu Mouchun was the only one who passed the Pre-examination without disappointing anyone from Third Middle School's Six Brothers; he scored high enough on his college entrance exam to attend a provincial college in Hubei. The other five brothers—those who struggled after the Pre-examination—decided to resume their studies as well. The fifth brother Peng Zequan found a way into Yizhong's Makeup Class while the other three chose Third Middle School too. With that reassurance of not losing face anymore, I packed light and set off once more on the rocky road toward Third Middle School!
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