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墨書 Inktalez
At that moment, all my uncertainties, confusions, and doubts were validated.
Xinchuan had long known that Zhang Yunxin had returned to the country, and they had met up long before; I was the one still living in his lies.
Seeing them laughing and chatting together, I clenched my fists, struggling to resist the impulse to rush over and slap him hard.
I lowered my head and quickly walked to a nearby seat, eavesdropping on their conversation.
The café was crowded with customers, but it wasn't too noisy.
Although I was sitting close to them, a decorative partition blocked their view of me.
In fact, even if Xinchuan saw me, it wouldn’t matter.
I was facing away from them, dressed in a style completely different from my usual one; he wouldn’t recognize me.
"Was it far coming from your side?" I heard Zhang Yunxin ask Xinchuan.
Xinchuan smiled. "Not at all; driving is quite convenient."
Naturally, he was more than willing to meet her.
He certainly wouldn’t complain about the distance.
"Here you go, the things you wanted."
Zhang Yunxin seemed to hand something to Xinchuan, but I couldn’t see what it was.
I opened my phone's selfie camera, hoping to sneak a glance through the lens, but the partition behind me completely blocked the view.
Xinchuan took the item, a look of relief washing over him. "I accidentally lost the medicine last time; thankfully, I have you."
Medicine?
The moment I heard that word, my heart sank.
"This medicine is hard to come by; you need to keep it safe and not lose it again."
"Yeah, I might have left it in the taxi on the way back that night after drinking too much."
"By the way, be very careful with the dosage. If something goes wrong, it could be a real problem."
"Got it. One pill every night, right? I’ll mix it in her honey water; that should be fine, right?"
"…"
As I listened to these words, my mind buzzed with fear and anxiety.
It turned out that the medicine Xinchuan secretly put in my water was given to him by Zhang Yunxin.
The person I trusted most, in cahoots with his white moonlight, wanted to poison me?!
This was a scene I thought only existed in movies, yet here it was happening in reality.
And just half an hour ago, I had been desperately trying to make excuses for him, convincing myself that this was all just my imagination, praying that Xinchuan would show mercy for our seven years together and not be so ruthless with me...
That night.
When I got home, I was curled up on the sofa watching TV.
Well, I was supposed to be watching TV.
At least my gaze was fixed on the screen, even though I couldn't absorb a single word of the movie.
Xinchuan changed his shoes at the entrance and walked over to me holding something.
I didn't look at him. He thought I was engrossed in the show, but I just found him disgusting.
"Look what I brought you."
Xinchuan placed the item in front of me.
The insulated bag had "Qinhuai Milk Tea" printed on it.
"Your favorite, Dragon Well Green Rice Cake." He introduced it while carefully opening the straw for me, ensuring he didn't touch the straw tip through the packaging.
But I didn't take it and glanced at him. "I don't want to drink it right now."
"Are you hungry? What do you want to eat? I can cook."
"I'm not hungry."
"Is it my fault for coming back late?" He quickly sensed my mood.
I tried to rein in my feelings and forced my tone to sound as usual. "No, not at all. I just had some snacks in the afternoon, so I'm not really in the mood to eat."
"Let's talk about it when you're hungry; there's plenty of food in the fridge."
Xinchuan has always been like this, never leaving the fridge empty.
These meticulous details once made me feel like I had married the best man in the world, possessing a love and marriage that everyone else envied.
But unfortunately.
I now realize that this was nothing but a joke.
His thoughtfulness and attentiveness were simply part of who he was.
It had nothing to do with me.
My gaze fell again on that cup of milk tea.
Xinchuan hadn't gotten my preferences wrong; it was indeed my favorite flavor.
Yet at this moment, that cup of milk tea kept reminding me of something else.
This milk tea shop is located near the nursing home where my mother lives.
Yes, it’s right next to the café where I saw Xinchuan meeting Zhang Yunxin today.
Just after meeting the white moonlight he can't forget, he turned around and remembered to bring a cup of milk tea for his wife waiting at home.
Xinchuan.
How could he not be considered a good man?
Xinchuan sat beside me, working on his laptop.
I wanted to ask him something several times, but I never knew where to start.
Should I ask about the blood-stained shirt in the closet, the pill bottle that fell out of his coat, or the terrifying conversations I overheard today?
I really wanted to know how he felt when he talked to Zhang Yunxin about how to poison my drink.
In the end, I chose to remain silent.
Desperately digging for answers seemed to me the most undignified part of a relationship after it had worn thin.
Even though I didn't say a word, I still felt a bit parched.
I picked up the milk tea on the table and took a sip.
It was bitter enough to make me feel nauseous.
At that moment, Xinchuan seemed to have finished his work and closed his laptop.
He turned around just in time to see me drinking the milk tea and smiled happily. "When I went to buy milk tea today, I saw they had some new products. There are a few you might like. Next time we visit Mom, I'll take you to get some."
"How did you have time to go there today?" I asked, following his lead.
Xinchuan responded without hesitation, "I happened to go there this afternoon to meet a client."
Look.
Indeed, men do not blush when they lie.
As for whether their hearts still race, I do not know.
On the television, a classic old movie, "Home Alone," was playing on the movie channel.
Xinchuan noticed that I was completely engrossed and thought I was captivated, so he joined me in watching.
When a funny scene came up, he laughed and said, "That kid is just too clever."
"Do you like it?"
"What?"
The sound from the TV drowned out my faint question, and Xinchuan didn’t catch it.
So, I repeated, "Do you like children?"
As soon as I asked that, the calm demeanor that Xinchuan had maintained finally showed a crack.
I glanced sideways and caught a moment of tension on his face.
But the crease in his brow quickly relaxed, as if nothing had happened, and he replied in his usual gentle tone, "I only like you as a child."
In the past, when he would say such cheesy lines, I would usually laugh and scold him for being so disgusting.
But now I truly feel nauseous, yet I can't bring myself to say anything.
I continued to pretend to be engrossed in the movie, ignoring him. He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
Seeing him so absorbed in the film only made me find the little boy on screen more detestable.
I recalled what my mother had said to me today.
Suddenly, I thought, if Xinchuan and I had a child, would we have avoided this situation?
That thought lingered in my mind for just a moment before I cast it aside.
I knew better than anyone how pathetic it was to rely on a child to sustain a relationship.
I told Xinchuan that I was hungry.
Xinchuan immediately locked himself in the kitchen.
I turned off the television and walked into the bathroom. As cold water poured over my head, I had never felt my mind so clear.
I carefully reflected on everything that had happened over the past few days.
It all seemed to have started on the day my mother had her accident.
I suddenly remembered that the first time I tasted something strange in honey water was also that day.
So, could it be that Xinchuan was very likely the man mentioned by the officer who was in the same car as Zhang Yunxin that day?
Too many things coincidentally happened on that same day; it couldn't just be coincidence.
A chilling image gradually unfolded in my mind—
When Xinchuan and Zhang Yunxin met for the first time and he took that small white pill bottle from her, they drove past the entrance of the sanatorium, accidentally hitting my mother, who had just sneaked out…
Wait a minute.
Was it really an accident?
My mind stalled like a malfunctioning machine for a moment, then more suspicions surged forth.
First of all, Xinchuan's ruthless decision to drug me and put my life at risk was likely to maintain his long-held perfect image.
After all, our relationship had always been so good. If we suddenly divorced, people would undoubtedly heap countless accusations on his new love, Zhang Yunxin.
How could he bear to let her endure that?
So, if I were to suddenly fall ill and die, it would tell a different story.
The gentle and gracious white moonlight would patiently accompany Xinchuan as he mourned the loss of his beloved. Eventually, they would realize that they still cherished their youthful feelings for each other and choose to hold hands to make up for past regrets.
Look at that.
What a perfect script.
As for my mother…
She was probably the most troublesome part of their perfect plan.
Once something happened to me, Xinchuan would have to take over my responsibility of caring for her.
But an old man who cannot even manage his own life would undoubtedly become a heavy and burdensome weight in their new lives.
Thinking about it, even I sometimes feel annoyed by my mother's long-winded nagging.
How much more so for someone who has no ties to her?
Perhaps Xinchuan has long been eager to shake off this burden...
An increasing number of chaotic thoughts gradually wove into a massive cocoon, trapping me inside and making it hard to breathe.
The tears that fell from my eyes were still warm, but in the next moment, they lost their heat as they mixed with the cold water.
When the sound of rushing water abruptly stopped in my ears, I made a decision.
Xinchuan.
If you want to reconcile with Zhang Yunxin, fine.
If you want to use my seven years of love and youth as a backdrop for your reunion, that's fine too.
Unfortunately, I'm not that magnanimous—I'm not generous enough to willingly offer both my life and my mother's as gifts for the two of you.
I made a chocolate cake.
It was for Xinchuan.
My cooking skills may not be as good as his, but baking is one of the things I excel at among my many hobbies.
Xinchuan used to tell me that if one day I no longer wanted to paint, he would help me open a cake shop. With my skills, the business would surely thrive.
At that moment, I felt a flicker of temptation, but I still rejected the unrealistic thought.
I enjoyed the rich aroma of butter and the sweet scent of caramel wafting through the air; sometimes, such fragrances could evoke a sense of comfort and happiness.
However, it was best to appreciate these delights in moderation. If I had to live surrounded by that cloying sweetness every day, I would likely grow tired of it quickly.
Extremes lead to reversals.
I carefully opened the small white bottle and poured out all the water-soaked pills inside, grinding them into a fine powder with great attention.
The white powder and white sugar blended together so seamlessly that even the most cautious observer would struggle to discern their difference.
Xinchuan loved chocolate more than anything.
And the bitterness of chocolate was just perfect for masking the taste of the powdered medication.
Xinchuan excelled at most things more than I did.
But when it came to administering drugs, I felt I had a certain talent that surpassed his.
I packed the chocolate cake neatly into a carefully selected box and stepped outside with it.
In the bustling mall, at the entrance of a cake shop with a long queue, I awaited the delivery person I had ordered online.
"Hello, are you Miss Zhang Yunxin?"
"That's me," I nodded with a smile.
I asked the delivery person to help me deliver the cake to Xinchuan's company, repeatedly reminding him that this cake was something I had waited in line for a long time to purchase, and I requested he be extra careful on the way.
"Don't worry, Miss Zhang!" The delivery guy grinned as he carefully placed the cake box into the large compartment at the back of his electric bike, then pedaled away from my sight.
The smile that lingered on my lips gradually froze, and my palms were already clammy with sweat.
I thought.
Receiving the gift she sent, Xinchuan should be very happy, right?
I was curious about what his expression would be when he got the cake.
As the agreed time approached, I walked into a restaurant in the mall.
At the last table by the window, I spotted Zhang Yunxin immediately.
She was wearing a light-colored dress today, her wavy hair elegantly cascading over her shoulders. The sunlight streamed in through the nearby floor-to-ceiling window, gently illuminating her and casting a golden halo around her.
For a moment, I felt a bit dazed.
I seemed to suddenly understand Xinchuan.
If I were a man, I would surely fall in love with her. Instead of walking straight up to her, I took out my phone and called her.
Soon, I saw her turn her head toward me and wave with a smile.
"Zhang Yunxin?" I approached her, feigning surprise.
She didn't seem too surprised to see me: "Jiang An, long time no see."
"Yeah, it's been a while. When did you come back to the country?"
"I just got back a few days ago."
"Are you planning to develop your career here in the country?"
"No, I'm only back this time to take care of some matters for someone. I shouldn't be staying too long."
"I see."
At this point, the atmosphere seemed to hit a deadlock.
Zhang Yunxin and I were never very close in college, and there weren't many topics we could discuss.
After a few seconds of silence, I decided to break the awkwardness: "I called you because of my mom's situation; I really didn't expect it would be you."
"I just returned to the country, and I'm not very familiar with the transportation here. I'm truly sorry about your mom's situation."
"I certainly don't blame you. You've already taken responsibility for the hospital expenses and even arranged for a caregiver for my mom. I know you're not the type to shirk responsibility. Besides, this incident was partly due to my mom crossing the road carelessly. I should be the one apologizing."
"The fact that your mom got hurt and those expenses are all on me," Zhang Yunxin seemed to catch the underlying meaning in my words, "So, you asked to meet today because…"
"I heard from my mom that there was a man wearing a mask in your car at the time of the incident." As I brought this up, I pretended to take a sip of water while secretly observing Zhang Yunxin's reaction.
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