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墨書 Inktalez
He reached out to embrace me and softly said, "Wash your hands; it's time for dinner. I made your favorite milk pumpkin porridge today."
At the dining table, he hesitated several times, as if struggling to find the right words.
I looked at him in confusion and asked, "Is there something on your mind?"
His gaze flickered before he finally spoke, "There's a family gathering tonight. Wann wants to visit my parents; after all, it’s been years since they last saw each other."
My hand holding the spoon froze, and hot porridge splashed onto the back of my hand.
I felt no pain; instead, I replied coldly, "You know this is a family gathering."
So many people were waiting to see me make a fool of myself—his cousins already thought I had taken Song Wan's position as Madam Shi, often making sarcastic remarks about me.
Whenever I complained to him about it, he would tell me not to overthink things and that it would all pass; harmony in the family brings prosperity.
But now, he was handing the very knife that stabbed at me into someone else's hands.
Seeing my resistance, Shi Ann put down his bowl, furrowed his brow, and lightly tapped his fingers on the table.
"Tap, tap, tap," each sound felt like a hammer striking my heart.
I knew he was growing impatient with me.
"Wann is just visiting; she won't be staying for dinner. Don't be so petty."
My heart grew colder; my recently warmed stomach now ached again.
Lowering my head to hide the tears threatening to spill over, I retorted stubbornly, "Since you've already made up your mind, why even tell me?"
"I'm full; I'm going to clean up first."
Without waiting for Shi Ann to respond, I stood up and left the dining table.
Back in my room, I took out a simple white long dress from the wardrobe and changed into it.
This dress was a birthday gift from Shi Ann; he said it suited my temperament.
I rarely wore it, always feeling it was too plain—almost like... funeral attire.
I carefully applied light makeup in front of the mirror to cover my pale complexion and painted my colorless lips. I tried hard to force a smile, but it looked worse than crying.
Shi Ann pushed the door open and entered with a cup of warm water in hand, cautiously offering it to me. "Jing Shu, drink some water. I was harsh earlier; please don’t be upset."
There was a hint of subtle flattery in his words. I took the cup of water, my fingertips brushing against his hand, which felt icy cold. The room was quiet, with only the sound of the old-fashioned wall clock ticking away, each tick striking at my nerves. I lowered my gaze to hide the desolation in my eyes and softly murmured an "mm," without looking at him.
Shi Ann sat down beside me, reaching out to take my hand, but I discreetly avoided him. His hand hung awkwardly in the air for a moment before he pulled it back, placing it on his knee and rubbing it nervously.
"Jing Shu, I know you're still bothered by the matter with Wann. But you also know what she once meant to me," Shi Ann's voice was low, tinged with helplessness and a plea. "Even though she left me and married someone abroad, she has just gotten divorced and is alone now. I just feel sorry for her."
I turned my head to meet his gaze directly, my tone eerily calm: "So you want to make it up to her? By using my marriage, my happiness, to compensate for your past regrets?!"
My eyes reddened slightly, but I fought back the tears. A flicker of panic crossed Shi Ann's face as he suddenly stood up and walked to the window, turning his back to me. His voice was hoarse: "It's not like that, Jing Shu. Don't think too much."
I looked at his silhouette with a bitter smile in my heart. It turned out that in his mind, I was not even worth as much as a woman who had once abandoned him.
I set the cup down and walked over to the vanity, picking up a tube of lipstick and gently applying it to my lips. The bright red color made me look even paler and more desperate.
"Shi Ann," my voice was soft yet carried a hint of determination, "let's go; don't keep her waiting too long."
He sighed lightly and turned to leave the room. I took a deep breath while looking at myself in the mirror, striving to maintain a calm expression.
In the evening, Shi Ann drove me to the old house. Throughout the journey, we remained silent; the atmosphere in the car was stiflingly oppressive. The dim yellow streetlights cast long shadows of trees by the roadside, resembling clawing monsters that devoured my last shred of hope.
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