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Because every time I see Yan Feng's face, I am reminded of Yan Hai.
Though their faces are so similar, they evoke completely different feelings in me. Yan Feng hates me, and I hate Yan Feng.
I only hope that in my limited life, I can do a little more for Yan Hai. Even if it's just guarding his tombstone, keeping it free from dust would be enough.
"He Li, you really have broadened my horizons," Yan Feng said, seeing my indifferent attitude, laughing in anger. "I thought I knew you well enough, but it seems I underestimated you."
"Yan Feng."
I opened my eyes and looked at Yan Hai's tombstone. "I never intended to entangle you."
"You have been the one entangling me."
"You—"
Yan Feng was quite upset with me.
I ignored Yan Feng further and left the cemetery, returning to Yan Hai's grandmother's house.
I found the aunt nearby and asked her if she had anything belonging to Yan Hai.
The aunt handed me an old iron box. "This is something that belonged to Yan Hai during his lifetime; he treasured it very much."
"Thank you."
Holding the iron box, I returned to the home I shared with Yan Feng.
I sent the servants away and sat alone in front of our wedding photo, opening the iron box. Inside was a diary. The pages were very old, and the cover was rough.
I think this should be Yan Hai's diary.
I took out the diary, and underneath it was a silver necklace shaped like a star.
Holding the necklace, I stared at it for a long time before putting it back into the iron box.
Right now, I just want to see Yan Hai's diary.
I took Yan Hai's diary and returned to the home I shared with Yan Feng.
I dismissed all the servants and sat alone in front of our Wedding Photo, opening Yan Hai's diary.
Yan Feng's notebooks are all quite valuable, with exquisite locks and high-quality paper.
In contrast, Yan Hai's diary was made from a very rough notebook.
Comparing the two, I suddenly felt as if my heart had been struck by something; it hurt a little.
I calmed myself down and opened Yan Hai's diary.
Yan Hai's diary began when he was ten years old.
【Today is the first day of writing a diary. Mom said that starting today, I should develop the habit of keeping a diary.】
【Today, Mom told me that I have a younger brother. His name is Yan Feng, and he grew up in a Wealthy Family, living very well.】
【I hope my brother can always live well.】
【Today is New Year's Eve. Mom bought me new clothes, and I am very happy.】
【I also bought my brother a gift; it's a Toy Car. I hope he will like it.】
【Today, I secretly went to see my brother,
He is very handsome and well-behaved, unlike me. I saw a child bullying my younger brother, so I went over to help him. My brother is timid and half a head shorter than me, but I felt very happy. Yan Hai's diary recorded many things about me and Yan Feng. When I saw this, I couldn't bear to read on. Because in Yan Hai's diary, much of it is about me. He said I am his heroine. He said he wants to see me. He said he wants to attend the same school as me. He said he wants to be with me. Each word pierced my heart like a knife. I endured the pain and read through Yan Hai's diary word by word. I read from his age of ten all the way to eighteen. In the summer of his eighteenth year, Yan Hai's diary was filled with his longing for me. He said he misses me. He said he can't stand it anymore; he wants to come see me. He said he wants to attend the same university as me. He said he wants to be with me.
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