I am the weak one who has been killed.
The one who killed me was not my husband, not my mother-in-law, not my stepson, but myself.
I am already dead.
I have become someone else, a person I do not even recognize.
I finally understand deeply what it means for marriage to kill.
It truly can kill.
It kills thoughts, it kills the soul, it kills the self.
It kills vibrant life in the mundane and despairing routine of day after day.
I painfully clutch my chest.
It feels suffocating there, as if someone is choking me, making it hard to breathe.
I want to lie down for a moment.
Seeing my pale face, my understanding daughter sweetly said to me, "Mommy, I will go play with my dolls in the living room. When you feel better, I will come back to keep you company."
Looking at my daughter's soft and adorable appearance, a hint of sweetness rose in my heart.
I nodded and smiled at her.
She skipped away happily.
As soon as I lay down and had not yet closed my eyes, I heard my daughter's cries.
She had never cried like this before.
That piercing cry felt like a sharp knife stabbing into my throat.
In a panic, I didn't even have time to put on my shoes and rushed out.
There I saw my daughter crying loudly while holding her Barbie Doll in the living room.
And Li Ran, my stepson, sat on the sofa with his arms crossed, watching coldly.
I asked him, "Yun Yun, what happened?"
My daughter's arm relaxed, and the head of the Barbie Doll fell to the ground.
She cried even more sharply.
I asked again, but she just cried.
I had no choice but to ask Li Ran, "What's wrong with Yun Yun?"
Li Ran continued to hug her shoulders, angrily saying, "I want Ultraman, but Dad won't buy it for me. Why does she get so many Barbie Dolls?"
I struggled to suppress my anger: "Dad won't buy it for you because you didn't do well on your exam, and besides, you're already past the age to play with Ultraman."
"Past the age?" Li Ran sneered, "What about her? Is she past the age? Why can she play?"
I looked down at the floor.
On the floor lay Yun Yun's Barbie Doll, brutally destroyed, with arms and legs scattered everywhere.
Suddenly, I felt an immense ache in my heart.
Yun Yun is only three years old.
At such a young age, facing her beloved Barbie Doll being destroyed like this, how much psychological trauma would it leave her?
Grandma heard the crying and came downstairs.
As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she pulled Li Ran into her arms, ready to confront me.
I shouted, "Mom!"
Grandma glanced at me and said, "Why are you calling me Mom? I'm not dead yet!"
I frowned and replied, "Mom, why do you say that?"
Grandma pouted, "If you don't like it, then don't listen! Which woman doesn't have children? Which woman doesn't take care of children? What's with all the fuss?"
I was so angry I could hardly contain myself.
Grandma continued, "Buying toys is just a way to make yourself lazy! If you're going to take care of kids, then do it properly! Stop trying to take shortcuts every day!"
I was so furious my teeth were grinding.
I really wanted to pick up a stick and smash everything in the room.
Li Ran squinted and leaned against her grandmother's embrace, looking like she was enjoying the show.
Suddenly, I realized that Grandma had been instigating Li Ran's negative feelings towards Yun Yun all along.
My mother-in-law has been constantly instilling in Li Ran that I am biased, that I do not love Li Ran, but only love Yun Yun. This is why Li Ran feels so much jealousy and hostility towards Yun Yun at such a young age. Jealousy can ruin a child.
I picked up my daughter and said, “Yun Yun, don’t be afraid, Mommy will help you fix your Barbie Doll.” I hope this door can lead to a peaceful world without worries.
I went to the traditional Chinese medicine shop. The Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor examined me carefully and said, “Little girl, if you continue to be so careless, be careful of falling seriously ill.” I broke out in a cold sweat.
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