Suicide Victim 14: No Regrets
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墨書 Inktalez
The man finished his story, as if he had accomplished something significant. He slumped in his seat, appearing to have exhausted all his strength. 0
 
As he spoke, the boat unknowingly drifted to the center of the river, where the fog thickened, resembling a pot of greasy meat soup filled with a foul odor. 0
 
I stared at the man named Liu Junliang for a long time. With his round face, large ears, and shiny skin, I couldn't imagine what his wife, whom he described as pig-like, looked like. But he certainly resembled a pig himself—a bloodless carcass hanging from a hook, ready to be butchered. I felt an urge to chop him up. 0
 
"Did you die for your dignity?" I asked him. 0
 
"Yes, dignity is unshakeable," he replied firmly. 0
 
"Why not repent for what you did to Xu Xiaoran?" I pressed, digging my nails into my palm as I glared at him. 0
 
"I truly loved her!" he exclaimed. 0
 
"Love?" I scoffed. "Using an ignorant girl’s dependence on you to engage in sordid acts is your love? Exploiting her family's misfortune and unkind parents to satisfy your perverse desires is your love? Your love is disgusting!" 0
 
He moved his thick lips, wanting to explain but found himself at a loss for words. 0
 
"Go die! Hurry up; your existence is an eyesore!" I pushed him lightly, and surprisingly, he rolled off into the river effortlessly. 0
 
After a brief moment of astonishment, I smirked and turned to the old man, saying, "Let’s move on; being too close to his death makes me worry that I might encounter him again on the Underworld road and lose my temper." 0
 
"Alright," the old man called out as he began to paddle deeper into the fog. 0
 
"Girl, don't you find it strange?" the old man asked. "His wife Song Yuegui gave him a thin jacket before he went to see Xu Xiaoran, and inside that jacket was a mobile phone. How could he not notice?" 0
 
"He’s just foolish," I replied, not wanting to dwell on that topic. "It's fortunate he didn't notice; otherwise, what would happen to Xu Xiaoran?" 0
 
"Do you really think Xu Xiaoran is safe?" the old man asked again. 0
 
"He's about to die; why would he bother making up lies?" I looked ahead and said, "Hey, old man, you're going the wrong way." 0
 
Not far ahead was the other side of the river, where dark green water plants swayed in the shallow water. 0
 
"I'm not going the wrong way," the old man said. "My ferry has a rule: only one Suicide Victim can cross in one night. Girl, dealing with death requires some decorum; if you ferry too many dead souls, Yama will keep track of it all in his ledger. When I pass away, he'll come looking for me to settle accounts." The old man chuckled cheerfully. 0
 
I pouted and complained, "Why didn't you say so earlier?" 0
 
"Can you turn back on the Underworld road? Can you cross Naihe River again? My boat works the same way; once you board from one side, you must disembark from this side—there's no getting on and off at will. You have to cross this river and think carefully about whether you want to end your life or not. If you decide to commit suicide, jump in at the center of the river; if you've changed your mind, then we can get off here. Understand?" 0
 
"There are quite a few rules." 0
 
"As I've said before, decorum matters; life and death are just a thought away—it's not that simple," the old man said slowly. "Besides, if you hadn't taken this journey, how would you have heard such a story?" 0
 
"True," I conceded; having chosen death left no room for argument. "Then I'll come back tomorrow night." 0
 
 
"Sure, old man, I'm waiting for you," the elder said cheerfully. "By the way, Girl, what date is it today? With this day and night turned upside down, I can't keep track of the days anymore." 0
"April 4th," I replied as I stepped onto the shore, my feet sinking into the wet mud. 0
On the second night, I arrived at the riverbank as promised. The elder was propping up a boat pole, waiting by the river. 0
"Have you been waiting long?" I asked as I lifted my skirt and stepped onto the boat, familiar with the spot where I sat last night. When I looked up, I was surprised to see a woman sitting on the Stool where Liu Junliang had been. I quickly turned back and asked the elder, "Old man, I paid yesterday; it's my turn today, right?" 0
"Yes, yes, yes, don't rush. There are still people who haven't arrived," the elder said as he gazed toward the shore. 0
"That's fine," I muttered as I sat down, glancing at the woman beside me. She was dressed in designer formal wear, wearing sunglasses and a black veil that obscured her face in darkness. It was impossible to see her clearly, but from her posture, it was evident she was an educated person. 0
"I haven't made up my mind yet," she suddenly spoke up, her voice calm and friendly, contrasting sharply with her appearance. "I'll take a walk first; if I decide for sure, maybe I'll come back tomorrow night." 0
"Oh, take your time," I replied. For some reason, being close to her made me feel inexplicably uncomfortable—not physically but mentally. I figured she was a dignified and meticulous woman; even the air around her felt constrained and oppressive. 0
"They're here! They're here!" the elder called out happily. "Guests, over here! This way!" 0
I looked up to see a brightly dressed young woman approaching the shore, exuding a heavy scent of makeup. She walked over in high heels with a click-clack sound; her long brown curls bounced joyfully with each step. She carried the latest Gucci handbag, and her thick eye shadow made her eyes appear unusually large, almost taking up half her face. 0
At night, this was somewhat terrifying. I couldn't help but shiver slightly. 0
She boarded the boat, and the elder handed her a Stool. She took it with a disdainful expression as if it were trash and tossed it aside before pulling out a scented tissue from her bag to place on the stool before finally sitting down. 0
The elder began to row the boat gently as it drifted slowly. 0
"Hello everyone, I'm Lin Ye," she said dismissively as she glanced over me and the other woman with an air of contempt while trying to maintain a friendly demeanor. 0
The woman remained silent and composed, seemingly ignoring Lin Ye's greeting; I suspected her eyes behind those sunglasses hadn't moved at all. 0
"Hello," I responded politely. 0
Lin Ye snorted derisively. 0
Such a person wasn't worth my anger; I turned to the elder and said, "I have no story; I just think life is quite meaningless. Just take me to the middle of the river." 0
"Alright..." 0
"What? What?" Lin Ye chimed in loudly. "What story? Is there some significance to taking this broken boat? Explain yourself; I can't just jump in without knowing what's going on." 0
"You won't be jumping tonight; don't worry," I said, annoyed by her chatter. 0
"How do you speak like that?" she retorted as if she'd swallowed firecrackers. 0
I shot her an eye roll and chose not to respond. 0
 
 
"Hey, guests, please don't make a fuss..." The old man repeated the rules and glanced at me awkwardly, advising Lin Ye, "Tonight, this guest should indeed take the stage; you won't be able to go until tomorrow at the earliest..." 0
 
Before the old man could finish, Lin Ye turned the lock of her purse and pulled out ten brand new Renminbi notes, tossing them onto the old man's lap. "I'll pay double; no one should compete with me." 0
 
I was speechless, both because of her arrogant tone and because I thought I had already paid. Tonight, I didn't even have cash or my phone with me. 0
 
What left me even more at a loss for words was how the easygoing and proud old man from last night had transformed into a profit-driven, utterly untrustworthy businessman today. He smiled and said, "No problem, you go first." He didn't even offer me an apology. 0
 
"Hmph," Lin Ye said triumphantly, glancing sideways at me. "A story, huh? Who doesn't have one? I'll just share my story with you." After saying that, she fell silent, her gaze drifting to the river's surface. She remained quiet for several minutes; perhaps recalling something sad, her expression gradually became complex. 0
 
 
 
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