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Later, I had a cold war with Yu Sheng for a period of time. During this time, Yu Sheng's mother also went out to work for a while, so only the two of us were left at home. This time, Yu Sheng deliberately avoided communicating with me, even avoiding eye contact.
In order to avoid communicating with me, you wake up earlier every day to prepare breakfast for me and leave it on the table, along with a note.
【Eat breakfast while it's hot. If you don't have time, there's a lunch box on the table that you can take to school. Today, the teacher asked me to go to the office early to distribute papers. I'm leaving first. Be safe on the way.】
Every day, there's a different excuse for leaving for school early.
I've been feeling very stifled recently. After the teacher's warning, I've gradually stopped communicating with Lin Yi, and I don't see Yu Sheng at the school gate when I go home at night. Although I can still chat and have meals with other classmates, I always get pulled back into my emotions by the note in the morning.
It's like a constant reminder to me.
How dare I, how dare I feel comfortable.
I need to blame myself, I need to fall into self-blame, because I unjustly criticized Yu Sheng without reason.
It's like they're deliberately punishing me.
Finally, I mustered up the courage to find him in his class, only to catch a glimpse of his figure in the corridor at the staircase.
I instinctively hid behind the nearby pillar, and its protrusion perfectly covered my body. From this spot, I could clearly hear his voice. It turns out he was chatting with one of his classmates.
A gentle breeze blows through, enveloping the lingering sunset between the two teaching buildings. I hesitated, hiding behind a pillar, one meter away from Yu Sheng. "Are you speaking well of that kid in front of the leaders again? There are two more spots for freshmen to join the Youth League than we estimated. I know one was due to connections, but I never expected the other one to be that kid..." "I can't let my good intentions backfire, can I?" Yu Sheng's voice is very pleasant, or perhaps I am just too familiar with it to have ever noticed how exceptionally pleasant it is.
"Old Yu, if you like someone, just go confess to them."
"What? Oh... is it that obvious?"
With a change of topic, I suspected that I had missed something, only to realize later that their conversation had veered off in a different direction.
But I mainly heard the keyword "confession," so there was a surge of nervousness in my heart.
"Tsk, who doesn't know your feelings for Xia Wan? In middle school, you faced off against a dozen people alone. Everyone knows you like her."
After that, Yu Sheng seemed to laugh, and whispered something again, but I didn't hear it clearly.
Because at this moment, my whole body is numb, my cheeks are instantly burning, and I almost can't control the urge to shout out. There's definitely no way I can talk to Yu Sheng calmly at this moment. So I chose to turn around and rush down the stairs without looking back.
When I got home in the evening, the lights were on in the house, and I knew that Yu Sheng had arrived home earlier than me. Before, he used to avoid me and always come home later than me, so he wouldn't have to wait for me at the school gate.
Today, he was unusually in the kitchen holding a bowl of noodles. When he saw me, he clearly hesitated for a moment, the first time we had made eye contact in days. However, it was very brief. He placed the noodles on the table and said, "I helped the teacher deliver something today, so I left school early. Let's have a late-night snack. I'll wash the pot." My emotions were already very low, and his actions made my tears unstoppable.
I buried my face in his shoulder and started crying.
"I'm sorry..."
My voice sounded terrible when I cried, especially when I tried to speak at the same time. It was hard to understand and looked messy and ugly.
I cried on his shoulder for a long time, but I couldn't say a complete sentence. It's as if I've suffered a great injustice. Why did Yu Sheng suffer such a great injustice without even complaining?
Is it not unfair to be beaten so many times in junior high school? Is it not unfair to repeat a grade? Anytime something happens to me, I feel like the sky is falling, but he never even complains. How did I have the fortune and ability to meet Yu Sheng on a Xia Wan?
"Wanwan, are you embarrassed to cry?" Yu Sheng gently patted my back, and when I finally stopped crying, he handed me a few tissues. He patiently tucked my messy hair behind my ears, and as my flushed cheeks touched his cold hands, I finally felt a sense of calm. He touched my face with both hands, "Let me get you some wet wipes, stop crying."
"I have never blamed you, but if you continue like this, it will make me sad."
Yu Sheng has been talking on the side, regardless of whether I am listening or not. But indeed, whenever he speaks, I always manage to divert some attention to listen to him. Gradually, the feeling of sadness also passes.
I gradually calmed down, and he asked me to sit down, "Now, eat something quickly. Crying can make you hungry." Throughout the whole process, Yu Sheng's emotions were very calm, and his speech was also very steady. I thought of the conversation I overheard during the day and suddenly wondered what his state would be like if he were happy and excited.
He always appears calm and composed, handling everything with grace. He never gets upset when faced with unfair situations. I looked at Yu Sheng sitting across from me, a faint smile on his face as he rested his chin on his hand, gazing at me intently. I couldn't quite understand the look in his eyes.
Is it love or weariness, the gratitude for surviving a disaster, or the joy of resolving grievances, I can't see clearly. "Hurry and eat," he withdrew his hand and tilted his head. I buried my head and started eating, my nose still a bit stuffy.
If Yu Sheng really likes me, then what are my feelings towards Yu Sheng?
Sometimes, I always feel that he is a bit scary.
But I can't explain this strange feeling, because I can't find any strange evidence.
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