Book Synopsis
Book Tags
Donation Rankings
Comment
0 Comments
You May Also Like
墨書 Inktalez
My relationship with the head teacher is actually quite good, even though my grades are not good and I often do things that disrupt the class. But my head teacher still treats me well, and I am very grateful to her. The day before the new semester after the summer vacation, the head teacher called me and asked if I could come to the classroom to help clean. Many classmates would also come to help, and since my home is not far from the school, I agreed immediately. Unexpectedly, Little Ge was also there. At that time, I was carrying a bucket of water, ready to go outside to fetch some water. Just as I stepped out, I ran into Xiao Ge In that instant when our eyes met, I realized that the hasty breakup was the most wrong decision I had ever made.
In the following two weeks, I didn't hear a word the teacher said in class. Each class is forty minutes long, and I spent at least twenty minutes looking at Xiao Ge Sometimes she would look at me too. I was very puzzled at the time as to why I was like this. I still can't believe that I would fall in love with her, and I'm not sure if she still loves me.
Those two weeks were agonizing for me. It was the first time I had put all my thoughts and feelings into a woman, but I didn't take any action. I knew that I could never overcome my cowardice.
I was afraid of losing, so I would rather stay in place and wait for someone else to take the initiative. So, until now, I have never actively pursued a girl. I thought it was because of my inferiority, but it turns out it's just because I'm afraid of the feeling of rejection, which would deepen my fear.
My helpless waiting seems to have once again led me astray. Yes, I have reconciled with Xiao Ge It was due to my useless passivity, or perhaps, it was because of Little Ge's initiative.
I want to escape my own helplessness, I yearn for courage, I want to loudly proclaim my love in front of millions of people, but my heart tells me, I can't do it.
After reconciling with Little Ge, I started trying to be better to her. I wanted to make up for my mistakes, so I spent most of my living expenses on buying her things to eat and use. Sometimes I only eat one meal a day, but I don't feel it's unfair to me. Sometimes I even enjoy it. I know that what I do may not be good for her, it's just that I like to move myself. In the end, it's still for myself, for my inexplicable desires.
My love story during my student days wasn't particularly magnificent. If I were to talk about something that I consider to be quite memorable, it would be during a school-wide monthly exam for Chinese language. The essay topic was very suitable for writing about youthful love, but I knew that it was definitely not the kind of article the school would want to see, and I might even get a zero. However, for me, it didn't matter. I wasn't concerned about my grades; I just wanted to write what was on my mind, something that fit the theme. So, I wrote the story of me and Xiao Ge, from the first confession to the breakup, and then the subsequent reconciliation. Surprisingly, the essay received a high score, and almost everyone was too afraid to write about the things I presented to the teachers. The essay even circulated in the teachers' WeChat group. It was the first time I felt the power of words, a liberation from worldly constraints.
This was one of the few brave things I've done, revealing my inner thoughts to many people. At that time, I gained courage for the first time, perhaps also from the power of love. Xiao Ge seemed a bit happy too. Looking at her smiling face, it felt like I was simultaneously experiencing the most beautiful scenery in the world.
But now I have no more courage. What surrounds my life is compromise and submission. I start to miss, miss my only courage.
Comment 0 Comment Count