My name is Wu Cen, I am 23 years old, and I just quit my job. Even I find it hard to believe that I made this decision at such a young age. I don't know the meaning of life, and I have no direction to move forward. I have thought about ending my short life, but I want to leave something behind.
I have decided to write a book to review my life, and after completing it, I may go and die.
The story begins in 2014, the year I was preparing to enter junior high school. My grades were not outstanding, but I had performed exceptionally well in exams during elementary school, so I was able to rank in the middle of the class. In junior high, I met a woman who I was infatuated with for life, and my best friend. They had a significant impact on my life, so on countless solitary nights, I would recall the only carefree moments of my life.
The first time I walked into that classroom, there were already over ten people sitting there. Some were staring blankly, some were sizing up the new environment, and a very few were chatting with each other. Students are all the same when entering a new environment, always silent but eager to try. After a week, our class of fifty or sixty people had almost all become familiar with each other.
That girl is called Xiao Ge At first, I didn't pay much attention to her, focusing instead on a few other lively girls in the class. It's just that I'm introverted and never talk about my feelings. Until now, I've never pursued a girl.
On the first day of school, there were no classes because it was a boarding school, and we had evening self-study. After introducing ourselves, it was already getting dark. The sunset that day was extremely beautiful, and over fifty pairs of eyes in the class were all looking at the fiery red outside the window.
That day, I thought youth was great, and I thought life would be the same...
The first good friend I made in class was a chubby boy named Fang Hao. Compared to my honest and straightforward nature at the time, Fang Hao was very clever and full of ideas.
I am an idealistic person. When I was young, I was soft-hearted, introverted, and not very sociable. Every day, I fantasized about growing up and traveling across mountains and rivers.
After getting to know Fang Hao, we often wandered around the campus and would go to some places where students were not allowed to enter. There were some abandoned places in the school that piqued our curiosity. Those locked rooms were the biggest temptation for me at the time. Every time we found a way to open those doors, I experienced a feeling that I have never tasted since I grew up.
In the second year of junior high school, Fang Hao was expelled from school for repeatedly violating school rules, fighting, and bringing girls back to the dormitory. After that, my contact with Fang Hao became less frequent. However, over the years, I still miss the time I spent with him.
Perhaps it was the excitement of engaging in seemingly adventurous behavior that I longed for, but I know that what I miss is not the friendship with him. In my opinion, a short period of emotion in life is enough to influence a lifetime, but we should not be bound by emotions such as friendship or love because of a person. It is the person who influences you, not those elusive emotions.
I remembered the first day entering school, the first evening self-study in the classroom, and the sunset that I saw only once in my life. It seems that just these few things that everyone has seen have led to my current sensitivity. I know that I cherish beautiful things enough. So, in my 23 years of life, what have I seen and done?
I will tell you everything.
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