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墨書 Inktalez
" Huan, this is the letter I wrote for you. After you read it, remember to burn it."
" Huan, this is the gift I prepared for you. Do you like it?"
" Huan, I miss you."
" Huan, I love you."
Those memories surged towards me like a tide.
Han Wen's mother was a very ruthless woman.
When Han Wen was eight years old, her mother killed her father and declared herself emperor.
From that moment on, Han Wen lost her playmates.
Her mother was fierce and very strict with her.
Her brothers were killed by her mother, and her sisters were exiled by her.
She became utterly alone.
When Han Wen was twelve, her mother sent her to war.
That war lasted for eight years.
When Han Wen turned twenty, her mother fell gravely ill.
She hurried back to the imperial city, but before she could see her mother one last time, her mother passed away.
Han Wen felt very lonely, truly lonely.
Seeing these memories made me sigh.
I didn't know whether to blame Han Wen or to pity her.
My body began to ache.
That pain seemed not to come from my body but from my soul.
My heart felt as if it were being gnawed by thousands of ants, unbearable in its agony.
But I couldn't cry out in pain.
I could only endure it.
Because I knew that this pain was all caused by my love for Han Wen.
I had to endure this pain in order to slowly let go of Han Wen.
Only by letting go of Han Wen could I gain true freedom.
I no longer wanted to be influenced by Han Wen. I didn't want to be a puppet anymore.
I wanted to be myself again.
I wanted to return to Jiang Huan—the Jiang Huan who was once free, happy, and carefree.
Instead of being imprisoned in the palace like this, Consort Chan.
I know that all of this comes at a cost.
I must let go of the past, let go of Han Wen, let go of this relationship.
Only by letting go can I attain true freedom.
I must let go.
I must do it.
Days passed one after another.
My body was changing day by day.
My belly began to grow, my skin started to deteriorate, and my hair began to fall out.
I knew it was all because of the Gu Worm.
But I was no longer afraid.
I had made my decision.
I decided to let go of the past, let go of Han Wen, let go of this relationship.
I just wanted to live freely.
"Your Highness, what is wrong?"
Biqiong looked at me with concern on her face.
"I'm fine."
"Your Highness, you look unwell."
"I'm just a bit tired."
"Your Highness, would you like to rest for a while?"
"I want to go for a walk."
"Yes, Your Highness."
I walked out of the room and into the courtyard.
The sun was shining brightly.
The wind was gentle.
But I felt no warmth.
In my heart, there was only coldness left.
"Your Highness, what is wrong?"
"I'm fine."
"Your Highness, are you thinking about the Emperor?"
"No."
"Your Highness, you..."
"Biqiong, I want to be alone for a while."
"Yes, Your Highness."
I wandered alone in the courtyard.
My heart was filled with countless thoughts.
But I didn't know what to say.
I simply stood quietly in the wind, letting it brush against my cheeks.
Until night fell.
"Your Highness, it's time for you to rest."
"Mm."
I returned to my room and lay down on the bed.
I closed my eyes but couldn't fall asleep no matter what.
My mind was filled with images of Han Wen.
" Huan, what's wrong with you?"
" Huan, why have you lost so much weight?"
" Huan, are you feeling unwell?"
Han Wen's voice echoed continuously in my ears.
But I was too weak to respond.
I just lay there quietly, lost in my thoughts.
Until dawn.
"Your Highness, it's time for you to get up."
"Mm."
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