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墨書 Inktalez
Lu Qingye leaned casually against the door, his tone quite mocking.
Shao Ciyan's gaze turned cold.
"Jian Xi, are you calmly rooming with someone who has ulterior motives towards you?"
"And attending classes together?"
I took a drag from my cigarette and rubbed my temples.
"Can you tone down your accusatory tone?"
"A good dog doesn't block the way."
Shao Ciyan fell silent, quietly stepping aside to let us pass.
But just as I took a couple of steps out, that voice called out to me again.
"During the half month I disappeared, I traveled abroad with Qing Tang, took her racing, and did almost everything a couple could do."
"I kept telling myself that as long as I had a normal relationship and didn't see you, those strange thoughts wouldn't arise."
"But in reality, every day away from school, I was thinking about you."
Beside me, Lu Qingye clicked his tongue in annoyance.
Then I heard Shao Ciyan conclude after laying everything out.
"Jian Xi, it's fine if you think I'm disgusting, but I really have fallen for you. I've become the kind of homosexual I once despised."
Shao Ciyan's confession caught me off guard.
Yet his condescending attitude remained unchanged.
As if by liking me, he had made a significant concession.
One that I was supposed to be grateful for.
Shao Ciyan stepped closer and circled around to face me.
His tone was somewhat cautious.
"I know I've done many things to hurt you, and you won't easily forgive me."
"So I'm planning to pursue you again, is that okay?"
I observed the expression of the boy in front of me as if I were studying an academic subject. Compared to the first time, he seemed much more sincere. But I no longer believed him.
"But, Shao Ciyan," I countered, looking up at him. "Isn't it bothersome to be pursued by someone you dislike?" Like the former Shao Ciyan, or even like myself now.
Lu Qingye laughed, as if mocking his naivety. Shao Ciyan did not provide a response. However, that did not mean he had given up.
That night, after returning to my dormitory from the library, my roommate who usually slept next to me had been replaced by Shao Ciyan. Lu Qingye was quite angry about it. The tense atmosphere between the two made the dorm feel suffocating. In fact, another roommate avoided them so much that she rarely returned to the dorm.
Most of the time, they rarely disturbed me. But when I was about to take a shower that evening, Shao Ciyan kept hesitating to speak. He looked quite anxious, frowning and blocking my way.
"Jian Xi, do you know that this public bathhouse is full of people at this time?" he said. "How about I take you out to wash instead?" I shook my head and took a step back.
"Are you done? What exactly do you want?"
Shao Ciyan looked annoyed, but his averted gaze seemed somewhat guilty.
"It was fine before."
"But Jian Xi, after that video was exposed, everyone knows you're gay."
"You stood in front of them naked, and with some indecent behavior; it's impossible for them not to have thoughts about you."
After a few seconds of confrontation, I saw that Shao Ciyan had no intention of backing down.
I couldn't help but smile and told him the truth.
"Shao Ciyan, there are no gay people on this floor."
"Because of the video exposure, they are afraid I might be a pervert and don't want to appear in the bathhouse at the same time as me. In the end, they asked my roommate to tell me that I could only go wash at a designated time."
Shao Ciyan's face grew paler.
He seemed to want to apologize but didn't know where to start.
"I didn't know they would go this far..."
"Now that you know, can you stay away from me?"
"Because right now, seeing a clingy gay like you just makes me feel sick."
I lowered my voice and spoke each word clearly.
Shao Ciyan's eyes turned slightly red.
"Is it that no matter how I try to make amends now, you won't forgive me?"
"Why do you have to wait until things are completely ruined before realizing you need to ask for forgiveness?"
I found it somewhat absurd.
"Shao Ciyan, if you were in my position, would you forgive someone like yourself?"
He lowered his head and remained silent.
After a long while, he finally spoke softly, his voice trembling slightly.
"I'm sorry."
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