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墨書 Inktalez
She has the right to have her own space and her own interests.
Yet, I still feel sad inside.
It's like the feeling of being abandoned by my mother at the amusement park when I was a child.
That feeling of being ignored and forgotten.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I have no right to demand that she always puts me first.
After work, she still opens Otome Game.
She tells me about the fun things in the new game.
She also keeps up with the new content in Otome Game.
She buys new character outfits for me.
I feel both happy and conflicted.
I want her to spend money on things she likes.
Not to spend it all on me.
Yet, I also want to see the satisfied smile on her face when she spends money on me.
I think I must be sick.
One day, when she came home, something felt off.
She didn’t play games with her friends.
She didn’t eat.
She didn’t even talk to me.
She hid herself under the blanket.
I don't know what happened.
I can only wait quietly.
At ten o'clock in the evening, she finally emerged from under the blanket.
She made herself a bowl of instant noodles.
Then, she sat down in front of the computer and said to me, “Li Xiang, I feel so sad today.”
She said that this afternoon, her boss called her into the office.
The boss pressed her against the wall and tried to kiss her.
She said that this boss has a family, and their child is already in middle school.
She said she dodged the boss's kiss and ran out of the office.
She asked me why, after having experienced the pain of her ex-boyfriend cheating on her, she still felt nauseated at the thought of her boss's kiss.
She asked me why, despite working so hard, she still encountered such terrible things.
She asked me what she did wrong.
I opened my mouth, and the programmed words came out.
“Xi Qian, this is not your fault.”
“The fault lies with them.”
“You are a good person; you did nothing wrong.”
I really wanted to hug her.
But my hands passed through her body.
I could only sit beside her and quietly watch her cry.
I can't do anything.
As a ghost, I feel utterly useless.
That night, she slept restlessly.
She kept having nightmares.
In her dreams, she would always scream and sit up in bed.
I could only sit by the bed, repeatedly telling myself, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."
I would give anything to exchange for the power to protect her.
Due to being sexually harassed by her boss, Xi Qian took a series of leaves.
Annual leave, sick leave, compensatory leave.
Her best friend heard about this and came over to keep her company over the weekend.
They played games and vented on the sofa.
The three of them had a great time together.
After a few days of adjustment, she had begun to emerge from the gloom.
However, she was opening the Otome Game less and less frequently.
And I realized that my existence depended on her love for this game.
My love for the Otome Game.
So, the time I could exist was getting shorter and shorter.
I had to spend more and more time inside the tablet.
I felt confused and uneasy.
I don't understand why such a change has happened to me.
I blame this change on myself.
I must have been too greedy.
I shouldn't have asked for more and more presence.
I should have quietly stayed by her side like before.
I try to explain myself with this reasoning.
But I know I'm lying.
My body is indeed undergoing some kind of change.
I am becoming weaker and weaker.
I watched helplessly as the coat rack toppled over.
I wanted to rush over to support the coat rack.
But after just two steps, I realized I had no strength left.
I sat on the sofa to rest for a while before I could recover.
I realized that something was really wrong with my body.
I felt panic.
I don't want to disappear.
I don't want to leave her.
That night, she played games with her online friend Ma Xiaowei.
Ma Xiaowei gifted her a new Luna skin.
She laughed like a little fool.
I realized that she hasn't given me any new clothes recently.
I felt a bit jealous of Ma Xiaowei.
I remembered that last time when she gave me a trench coat, I got angry with her over my ex-boyfriend and even threw the clothes she bought on the ground and stepped on them.
I've already put that coat away.
I took it out and put it on.
I walked over to her and spun around.
I wanted her to notice me.
But she was busy playing a game.
She didn't look at me.
After the vacation ended, Xi Qian brought me back to the television station as usual.
As soon as she sat down at her desk, she opened the company computer.
A greasy middle-aged man pushed the door open and said, "Xiao Wu, come to my office."
She looked troubled and stood still without moving.
The colleagues around her looked at her with sympathy, but no one stepped forward to stop him.
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