This time, her recovery was quite swift. After two days, she was completely well and didn't stay long at the traditional Chinese medicine clinic before moving back to the dormitory.
Yeh Zhenzhen had originally vowed to skip class to pick her up, but when she learned that Xiao Zuo would be coming for her, she obediently returned to class.
Since that kiss, her relationship with Brother Zuo had changed significantly. When she looked at him, the feeling of childhood friends had diminished; it seemed to have peeled away the sibling identity. As for how to define his new identity, she had yet to come to a conclusion.
By noon, feeling tired from the busyness, she casually found a restaurant and ordered two cups of coffee. The rich aroma wafted towards her, bringing with it a blend of sweetness and bitterness that fermented in the air.
"The exams are coming up," Xiao Zuo said as he flipped through his books without looking at her. "You were sick these past few days, so I took notes for you. Make sure to review them when you get back."
His voice was always warm and gentle. She raised her eyes to look at him; that handsome and bright face showed no trace of the mischief from his childhood. Memories of their childhood flashed through her mind like scenes from a movie, filled with countless beautiful moments. For some reason, she suddenly recalled what her father once said: love is not a momentary spark; love is a steady companionship. When the intensity fades and the splendor is gone, the person who has always been by your side is the one you truly love.
Who does that steady companionship refer to? She began to feel confused. If she were to say who had always been by her side, it would probably only be Brother Zuo...
"Brother Zuo, I'm feeling a bit tired now. I want to go back and rest for a while." She concealed her anxiety and stood up, walking out without caring whether Xiao Zuo followed her.
She returned to the dormitory via the stairs. After some casual greetings, she smiled and told her roommates that she was well again and they needn't worry. However, she noticed Yeh Zhenzhen leaning by the window, playing with the cobalt blue tassels on her clothes while staring blankly outside.
What was outside? Following Yeh Zhenzhen's gaze, she looked out the window and saw Xiao Zuo's tall and slender figure standing still. When he noticed her peeking out, he turned and left, his back silhouetted against the midday sun, making it seem bittersweet to her eyes.
"Mo Su, he's always been good to you, hasn't he?" Yeh Zhenzhen turned back and looked straight at her.
"Yes, we grew up together. He treats me like..."
"Do you know you're being selfish?" Yeh Zhenzhen interrupted her sharply. "Are you going to keep using the excuse of treating him like a brother to unconditionally enjoy his care for you?"
She was taken aback, not expecting Yeh Zhenzhen to say such words, but Yeh Zhenzhen continued, "After all, you are not really siblings, are you? He has always been by your side. You came to France to heal your emotional wounds, and without hesitation, he followed you. Think about it; there must be more things he has done for you."
She lowered her eyes, her gaze clear and bright. She remembered that as long as it was something she proposed, he would never refuse, and this had been true since childhood. Yeh Zhenzhen smiled gently, "Mo Su, I really envy you. Brother Zuo always appears when you are sad and retreats when you are happy. Have you ever thought that he is also human? How could he not have emotions?"
Cheng Mo's bright eyes rippled slightly. Yeh Zhenzhen's words made sense; perhaps it was because she shared the same feelings as Xiao Zuo Wei.
Cheng Mo took Xiao Zuo Wei's kindness for granted but did not consider that he did not have to be this way.
"Mo Su, it's easier for outsiders to see clearly. What do you really feel for Brother Zuo? I think you yourself are unclear about it. But if you are determined to reject him, just say it out loud. Don't let him hold onto any illusions."
"I once said that I only see him as an older brother," she pondered for a moment and replied.
"But he knows in his heart that you are not siblings. Your words still leave room for imagination," Yeh Zhenzhen looked straight into her heart. "Just be clear: will you fall in love with him? Will you forget Shangguan Shaoshuai? Tell him your truest thoughts, set him free, and free yourself too. Isn't that good?"
Cheng Mo quietly leaned against the window sill, her gaze calm and gentle but with a hint of contemplation. Her fair hands were tightly clenched, her nails digging into her palms, yet it didn't hurt as much anymore.
Has losing courage also meant losing the ability to be straightforward?
She walked quietly along the avenue, having agreed to meet Xiao Zuo Wei by the lake. She looked up; Xiao Zuo Wei was already waiting there. It wasn't that she was late; he always arrived early so that she wouldn't have to wait even a moment longer.
"Brother Zuo," she smiled softly. Xiao Zuo Wei's eyes were filled with her graceful figure, and he returned her smile.
"You called me here; is there something you want to tell me?" Xiao Zuo Wei smiled, his eyes revealing a sense of sorrowful understanding.
Cheng Mo pondered for a moment; every word Yeh Zhenzhen had said to her resonated in her heart. She never intended to hurt anyone but did not realize that her nature of being at ease and unwilling to compete or refuse had led to so many entangled emotional debts. She should clarify everything and grant everyone their freedom.
She smiled lightly, the soft light enveloping her snow-like profile, her hair lifted by the wind. She reached out to smooth it down, calm and beautiful. "Brother Zuwei, I've thought about it. I still can't forget Shaoyi, not for now."
It seemed he had anticipated her words. Xiao Zuowei did not show much emotion, only gazing at her with his distinct black-and-white pupils. "So how long do you plan to remember him? A lifetime?"
"No, I will forget him," she blurted out, but after saying it, she felt a tugging force at her heart that made her feel unbearable pain. Green Onion Jade Fingers lightly pressed her forehead, Water Eyes slightly drooped, and Rose-Colored Lips formed a sad arc.
Xiao Zuowei smiled gently, realizing that despite all his efforts, she still could not accept him.
"Brother Zuwei," she spoke again, maintaining her usual calm demeanor. "I see clearly now; we are not really siblings anymore. I will no longer treat you as my brother."
His eyes suddenly brightened. "What... does this mean?"
"In the past, I relied on being your sister to feel fearless. But these past few days have made me understand that I don't truly see you as my brother." Her delicate fingers intertwined as her voice was as soft as a whisper. "I’m too confused right now to figure out what I really think of you. Please give me some time; I think I can give you an answer soon, okay?"
"Alright." He smiled gently; he would agree to whatever she asked. He understood her meaning—no matter what, she had developed new feelings for him, which was indeed something to be happy about. He looked into Cheng Mosu's watery Eyes and said, "I understand your thoughts. You want to quietly find yourself. Xiao Su, I understand. Don't worry; I won't disturb you during this time."
She nodded and smiled softly, and he returned her smile.
His return home was set for tomorrow.
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