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墨書 Inktalez
At nine o'clock in the evening, Huang Xiaoxiao finally left the internet cafe, feeling unsettled and nauseous because of the verbal attacks on Chen Fei by the group members. Looking at the neon lights on the street, with men and women chatting and laughing, he suddenly felt a ringing in his ears, and his eyes scanned back and forth like a machine. For a moment, it was as if he had become an NPC in the virtual universe, devoid of any signs of life.
Taking a deep breath, he lowered his cap and turned towards home. It was more like a small one-bedroom apartment of less than 15 square meters, located in the old city area of City H. Most of the houses in that area were built in the 80s and 90s, with a majority of local residents and few high-rise buildings, and even fewer with elevators. But it was precisely because of this that the atmosphere was particularly vibrant, with warm soy milk, crispy fried dough sticks, and a large bunch of leeks and amaranth for only thirty-eight cents. Of course, the main reason that attracted Huang Xiaoxiao was the cheap rent.
Two years ago, he took the college entrance examination with his younger brother. Yes, his parents made Huang Xiaoxiao start school two years late in order to have someone to take care of his brother at school. He never complained about this, as long as he could go to school, he was very satisfied. After the college entrance exam results came out, his scores were high enough to choose from many top universities in China, while his brother didn't even meet the undergraduate admission line. Looking at his own results, Huang Xiaoxiao was extremely happy, he could finally go out on his own abilities! However, it's not that easy.
Huang's father: "Your brother didn't get into college this year, I plan to have him repeat a year and take the exam again next year. We can't afford to send you to college, so get ready, I'll take you out to work in a while and earn tuition for your brother."
Huang Xiaoxiao: (Silent, with a black face)
Huang's father: "What's wrong? You still don't want to?"
Huang's mother: "I bet you're thinking about going to college, aren't you? Look at the kind of person you are. Hmph! Unless your mother crawls out of the river."
Huang's father: "Why are you bringing this up again when everything was fine! I've been too good to you, haven't I?"
Huang's mother: "What's the use of being fierce with me! It's not something I did. If you have the guts, go find her father and mother!"
Huang's father: "You! I don't want to waste my breath with you. (Turns head) Huang Xiaoxiao, let me tell you, I've raised you for so many years, that should be enough. Whether you like it or not, it's settled that you'll work and earn money to put your brother through school. Forget about going to college!"
Injustice, suffocation, sadness, anger. Huang Xiaoxiao knew that his so-called parents were biased towards his younger brother, but he didn't expect them to go to such lengths, even trying to sabotage his chance to go to college. He stood alone in the yard, looking at the canvas shoes with holes on his feet, the black socks washed to a pale color, and his hands involuntarily clenched the hem of his shirt, pulling it out of shape. This was his only decent shirt, which his father had bought for his younger brother two years ago when he returned from working outside, but his brother didn't like it and refused to wear it, so he got to wear it. Even so, he was very happy; this was a new piece of clothing that belonged entirely to him.
That summer was particularly hot, even the wind felt scorching. Huang Xiaoxiao didn't leave the yard until his shirt was soaked with sweat. There was a cluster of sparks in his eyes, a flame about to burst forth, ready to incinerate everything. The night was quiet, and the gentle breeze finally dispersed the heat, allowing the villagers of Matou Village to lie down comfortably. If it weren't for the sudden big fire, they should have had a good dream.
When the firefighters extinguished the fire, the sky was already getting light. The main house of the the Huang family was completely burned, along with the adjacent dilapidated wooden house. Only one of the four family members was rescued, Huang Xiaoxiao, who had half of his face burned by the fire, coincidentally on the side with his red birthmark. At this moment, wrapped in a blanket and waiting for an ambulance, Huang Xiaoxiao sat motionless, staring blankly. The villagers thought he was in shock and wanted to comfort him, but seeing his terrifyingly burned face, they hesitated to approach.
With three people dead in the fire, the police had to investigate. After a thorough inquiry, the case was ultimately closed as an accidental fire. Seeing this result, Huang Xiaoxiao's suspended heart finally settled, as he received a compensation that was just enough for him to undergo facial reconstruction surgery.
After years of confinement, life became much smoother once released. Taking care of the aftermath, filling out college applications, recovering from surgery, everything proceeded as planned. Aside from the inevitable sighs and murmurs from the villagers, life seemed to have changed very little, or perhaps even improved.
Huang Xiaoxiao sold his family's land to the village at a low price, and the money he received should be enough to cover his expenses for four years of college. So, on the second day of receiving the admission notice from the University of Science and Technology, Huang Xiaoxiao packed up his only suitcase, stepped out into the just-rising sun, and left the Ma Tou Village that had trapped him for 20 years. He never wanted to come back again!
Returning home, Huang Xiaoxiao finally took off the hat and mask that had been on all day. If there were a mirror right now, he would see how strange his flattened hairstyle looked. However, there were no mirrors in his home. In fact, Huang Xiaoxiao did not allow mirrors in his life. Perhaps it was due to the experiences of being mocked since childhood, or perhaps it was a fear of disfigurement. After coming off the operating table, he had been unwilling to look in the mirror, even when the doctor held one in front of him, he refused to open his eyes. So much so that even now, Huang Xiaoxiao had never seen his true appearance.
When he took off his backpack, the little yellow duck pendant on the zipper kept swinging. This pendant was made from the little yellow duck he had received back then, but over the years, the yellow plastic had worn to a pale color, and the eyes and mouth had faded by half.
Clutching a little yellow duck, Huang Xiaoxiao fell into a daze again, his thoughts returning to the days when he first entered school.
Back then, he was both nervous and afraid, excited and anxious. His heart was eager to start a new life, but his foot kept retracting from stepping out of his comfort zone. The shadows of many years couldn't be shaken off all at once, and with the wounds from surgery not fully healed, Huang Xiaoxiao was defeated by himself, choosing to continue his timid life. He didn't disturb others, and others didn't disturb him. Over time, people at school thought of him as a complete oddball, hidden beneath the black fisherman's hat and oversized mask, perhaps concealing a grotesque appearance. Once rumors start, they seep into every crevice of the crowd, and before long, many people knew that the oddball from the Civil Engineering Department was a monster.
Huang Xiaoxiao is in great pain. He can escape from Matou Village, but he can never shed his ugly shell. Until one day, he stumbled upon a group where the members were either bullied and oppressed since childhood, or had physical deformities and disabilities, just like Huang Xiaoxiao, they were all seen as monsters in the eyes of others. He found a home! This was Huang Xiaoxiao's most immediate thought.
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