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The young master has injuries and is troubled in his heart. He regards you as a confidant, constantly pouring out his feelings to you. Although you grow increasingly disdainful as you listen, you still maintain a facade of gentleness and consideration.
For the next six months, everything remains peaceful. You and he even develop a sense of familiarity akin to an old married couple. He becomes diligent in his studies; regardless of his motives, he progresses rapidly. You serve him with meals, anticipating his needs—when he purses his lips, you know he wants more tea, and when he shifts his body, you understand he wants a back rub.
The lady of the house grows increasingly satisfied with you, raising your monthly allowance and hinting that once the young master gets married, she will elevate you to the status of a concubine. You express your gratitude and secretly save money, accumulating fifty taels over the year from your monthly allowance and the small change the young master gives you. It’s not enough to buy a house or secure your future. You still have to endure.
The young master continues to read more and more, gradually developing a calm demeanor. You recognize those characters and eventually learn to write some of them. Occasionally, you can discuss a few points with him, exchanging looks of surprise and admiration. However, you quickly realize that these small achievements are of little use.
You get up to prepare a late-night snack for the young master. In this era, as a woman, there is little you can do. You don’t even dare to step outside the gates; your family members whom you sold are always watching you. You have three brothers who are waiting for your monthly allowance to marry their wives. Since arriving here, you haven’t given them any money.
Those three farmers and your father, who hasn’t aged much, all have fists like sandbags. The imposing vermilion gate deters them from acting rashly, but once you step outside, things become difficult.
The young master passed the provincial examination at seventeen and the highest examination at twenty; his prospects for marriage have also risen significantly. Everyone praises him as a natural talent destined for high office in the future. He becomes quite pleased with himself.
He remarks that the female scholar from the Imperial Academy has an ordinary personality that doesn’t suit him; he dislikes the plain appearance of the daughter of the Hanlin Scholar; while he finds the daughter of the Minister of Justice attractive and with character, she seems lacking in consideration for others.
He stripped you of your clothes and painted on your body. This was a new interest he developed after reading books. He was already very familiar with your body, and the money pouch you hid under the bed had been filled with three bags. He kissed your body and said you were still good. You were both beautiful and caring, never contradicting him; a lowly Girl, yet well-read, perfectly in tune with his soul. If it weren't for your poor background, he would have wanted to elevate you to Primary Wife.
Afterward, he continued the previous topic. With his family background, these young ladies were all suitable matches, but if he could marry the daughter of the Eastern Pavilion Grand Scholar, his future would be smooth sailing! You looked at his proud face, feeling increasingly clear and at ease in your heart. You had reached an age where you took the words of men in bed seriously.
When the young master lacked ambition, he wanted many wives and concubines to live freely; but once he had ambition, he wanted to climb higher. A small Concubine Maid like you would never be his only one. Sometimes you found it amusing to think back on how you had climbed into bed with him and daydreamed about it, yet feared that if he hadn't given you a wake-up call from the start, after being favored for so many years and getting dizzy with affection, if you ran away with a child, he wouldn't love you anymore, and you'd have to suffer greatly.
Two hundred taels—your entire savings—would only last a lifetime if there were no wars or if you worked hard and saved carefully. If you fell ill in this society, you might die without treatment; even if treated, living without money would be worse than death. You often sighed, blaming yourself for not being born into a better family.
Then you thought of that family of brothers. Yes, your mother had given birth to another brother. So poor and so lazy, yet still having children. You didn't understand or agree with it. Every time Wang Mama brought contraceptive soup, you drank it eagerly. Your life would be like this; taking care of yourself was already difficult enough—there was no need to bring harm to a child.
Wang Mama conveyed your obedience unchanged to the lady. The lady thought of you during festivals and never shorted you on silver hairpins or rings; she had also early on assigned two little Girls to serve you.
You are the Ex-Concubine, and everyone in the household is tacitly aware of it.
But you are very annoyed, annoyed that this world hasn’t given you a Golden Finger, annoyed that you have to be a servant for the rest of your life, trapped in this small courtyard. You feel hopeless about life and have become indifferent towards the Young Master.
Men are generally ungrateful.
The more indifferent you are, the more enthusiastic he becomes, clinging to you for several days, reminiscent of the time when he first experienced desire.
It is only much later that you realize this was his last attempt to take advantage of you knowing that you would not always be by his side in the future. The Eastern Pavilion Grand Scholar favors him and is willing to marry his daughter to him. However, for the legitimate daughter of a First-Rank Grand Official to marry the son of a fifth-rank official, there must be a show of status.
The first condition is that all existing concubines in the household must be sold off, and no other concubines are allowed in the future. Only with such a significant disparity in status can one dare to make such a request of the husband’s family regarding never taking another concubine.
The Madam readily agrees to her future daughter-in-law's demands and shamelessly claims that her son has no women in his quarters, asserting that he is noble in character and devoted to learning. Upon hearing this news, you shed tears, desperately wanting to confirm what the Madam meant by saying there were no women in the Young Master’s quarters—whether she wanted your life or intended to sell you off to the frontier.
After testing the waters, you find out they only want to move you out of the household and will even buy you a house and some modest property to ensure your livelihood. The Young Master tenderly wipes away your tears, reluctant and sorrowful, wanting you three times in one night.
He rarely shows such consideration afterward, saying that although you will be leaving the household, your needs for food and clothing will not be lacking, and he will often come to see you. You stare wide-eyed into space; your tears were from before, but now your heart races with excitement.
Moving out on your own is a tremendous opportunity, but you want to leave completely; you want to be your own master and certainly do not wish to have any ties with those who once enslaved you.
The next day, you go to the Madam’s courtyard and recount all your hardships over the years in detail. You embellish tales about your fierce family members while subtly flattering the Madam’s kind heart, expressing your desire to serve her and the Young Master for life but lamenting that it was simply not meant for you…
Although you do not have a Golden Finger, this family still possesses some conscience. Your requests are few and reasonable, each one considering the Young Master’s well-being.
The household arranges for two strong men and four girls to accompany you; you set off at dusk by boat heading south, where buying a house costs far less than acquiring land in the capital. The mountains are high and roads long, free from harassment by your family; even if the Young Master thinks of you in the future, he will not be able to find you.
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