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墨書 Inktalez
I collapsed onto the ground, my pants soaked.
I lived like a rat, enduring each day in Nanjing as a torment.
I decided to escape once more, this time to a farther place.
I stole a worker's wallet and bought a train ticket south.
"I'm sorry, brother," I silently said in my heart, "I'm also at my wit's end."
On the train to Nanning, I was awakened by nightmares countless times.
The weather in Nanning was warmer than in the north.
During the day, I hid in crowded places, pretending to be a tourist or a worker.
At night, I sought secluded spots to sleep outdoors.
I mainly relied on rummaging through trash bins and stealing leftovers from small stalls for food.
I had lost weight significantly, and my clothes were so dirty that I could no longer recognize their original color.
For three weeks, I hadn't spoken a single proper word to anyone.
Loneliness could destroy a person more than hunger and fear.
A few times, I almost considered walking into the police station to confess; at least in prison, I could talk to someone.
"It's all my fault..."
I curled up in a corner of a construction site in Nanning, talking to myself, "I really shouldn't have become a nanny... I really shouldn't have picked up that hammer..."
In the end, I made the decision to go to Beihai, the farthest place I could imagine.
On my first day in Beihai, I discovered many tourist attractions where I could blend in among visitors and not draw too much attention.
On the second night in Beihai, which marked the twentieth day of my escape, I curled up on a bench in a square.
Though this city was warmer than others, the sea breeze at night was still biting cold.
I missed my family, longed for a normal life, and even began to miss Ms. Zhang, the one I had killed.
At that moment, three men approached me.
These three men were not police; they were a group of thugs.
Seeing my bearded face and tattered clothes, a glimmer of greed flashed in their eyes.
"Hey, look at this! A stray dog!" the leader of the group laughed at the other two.
I naively thought they were just passing by.
But soon, I realized I was wrong. They surrounded me, and one of them touched my clothes.
"Hey, old man, what do you have in your pockets?"
I nervously shook my head. "Nothing... just a few bucks..."
"A few bucks?"
The leader scoffed, "Then hand it over!"
Before I could react, one of them grabbed my collar and dragged me into a dark corner by the square.
I wanted to struggle, but my body, weak from not eating properly for twenty days, couldn't muster any strength.
"Don't move! Be honest!" One of them kneed me hard in the stomach, causing pain that made me curl up on the ground.
They began to rummage through my pockets, finding the remaining 86 yuan and a wallet stolen from Nanning (which was already empty).
The leader looked at this meager "haul" and kicked me angrily.
"This is it? Are you messing with us?"
I quickly shook my head. "There's really nothing else... I'm just..."
"What are you?" he interrupted me. "Are you a thief too? Hahaha, a thief getting robbed by us—what do you call that?"
"The mantis stalks the cicada, while the yellow bird waits behind," another chimed in, prompting laughter from the group.
Then the beating began.
They kicked me, stomped on my fingers, and even spat on my face.
I curled up into a ball, silently enduring it all.
Even in such a situation, I didn't dare to cry for help or attract the police.
I had no idea how long the torment lasted.
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