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墨書 Inktalez
He let go of that thought.
He began to close himself off from her. They hadn't seen each other for a long time, and when they met again, he noticed that she didn't seem very happy. He wondered if something had gone wrong with her studies.
When Zhao Xiaoyi approached him, he felt a sudden panic. Watching her walk away caused a pang in his heart, a heavy sense of gloom settling in.
Seeing her get along so well with Shen Huai made him unhappy; he felt like he was truly sick. He had resolved not to indulge in these feelings anymore, yet his emotions were still stirred, fluctuating wildly.
He felt restless and uneasy. Would someone like him ever catch her eye?
During the performance exchange, he noticed that she was intentionally avoiding him. A vague suspicion flickered in his mind, and he wanted to know more.
She said she was afraid of making his girlfriend angry, and at that moment, his heart sank. He teasingly asked if she had a crush on him.
Of course not. How could someone like her possibly have feelings for someone like him?
In Haicheng, Qin Nianzhe and a few others dragged him out for a night stroll, where they were captivated by some peculiar Coconut Carvings at a street stall.
Jiang Shiyu immediately thought of Yun Li. She loved these little trinkets and bought one of the Coconut Carvings despite the surprised looks from Qin Nianzhe and the others. He thought she would really like it.
Xu Jiaxing joked that he must enjoy things that little girls liked, calling him too soft. For once, he didn’t kick back at Xu because he knew it was true—little girls did enjoy such things.
The appearance of Jiang Hao suddenly darkened his previously bright mood. He felt terrible when he saw her moments on social media; his heart fluttered.
Her slightly playful replies and captions warmed his heart. It felt as if he had returned to that night when he was thirteen, when she appeared like an ethereal spirit in the darkness, tears glistening on her long eyelashes, her fair cheeks captivating the wounded boy he had been then.
It made him unable to suppress his emotions.
He wanted to find her.
When she came down, he realized he had nothing much to say; he just wanted to see her. It felt strange to ask her out without saying anything since they didn’t have any particular relationship—he thought it would be odd if others saw them together.
So he asked if she was hungry and took her out to eat.
She noticed his unhappiness again, and once more, he opened up to her. Her comforting words eased his heart significantly.
They chatted as if they were old friends who had known each other for ages, and he learned the meaning of her name. Hao Hao was a blessing from her parents, while Yun Li was derived from a term in dance.
It sounded beautiful.
Time always flew by when he was with her; what felt like just a few minutes turned out to be much longer—so long that the school gate had already closed.
This girl was so carefree; she followed him without fear. She knew there were risks involved but hesitated when they arrived—it was unexpectedly amusing.
It was the first time he saw someone suffer such severe stomach issues after eating barbecue; it left him flustered and unsure of what to do.
She said it was an old problem of hers, which made him somewhat unhappy. She should have told him if she couldn’t eat instead of just accommodating him.
Now discussing it seemed pointless.
He realized that he could no longer control his feelings; even when she was feeling unwell, she still thought about how it affected him.
As she repeatedly considered how to comfort him, his heart melted further under the influence of alcohol; his defenses crumbled.
He finally faced his own feelings—he truly liked her.
In just two short months, perhaps even earlier than that, a seed of love had already been planted deep within his heart.
On the night they met when he was thirteen, he recalled that strangely, there was no moon in the sky, yet the moon quietly descended into his heart. He yearned for love.
The appearances of Jiang Hao and Shi Yi left him conflicted. However, the presence of others around her sparked a sense of crisis within him; he didn’t want to lose her. Every moment spent with her filled him with happiness, a feeling he had never experienced before—she brought happiness into his life.
Past memories resurfaced, and Hao Hao became angry. He had never comforted anyone; throughout his life, others had always catered to him. He was used to being proud, and the sudden change left him at a loss. Unsure of how to console her, he turned to the internet for advice.
Some suggested being sweeter with words, while others recommended giving food or buying gifts that girls liked. He thought those ideas were good and decided to follow them.
Though he wasn't skilled at photography, he had sought out a photographer before their trip to learn. They told him that girls loved taking pictures, and without good photos, they would be unhappy. He bought a camera in advance and dragged Qin Nianzhe and a few others along for several photo sessions, achieving great results.
Qin Nianzhe and the others were quite displeased at the time. "So we’re just your tools, huh? Let’s go, we’re done here!"
Since they got together, her love for him deepened, and he could sense it clearly. He knew he wasn’t doing enough; she continuously lowered her expectations for him. This made him feel uneasy. He tried to learn how to express his feelings so she could feel them too.
Yet even in her wavering love, he felt it wasn’t enough; he desperately wanted to give her more and more love. Sweet words sounded nice, but Jiang Shiyu believed that actions were more reliable.
She liked brighter colors, so he changed his preferred decoration style. The dim room instantly became brighter; she was happy, and so was he.
It wasn’t difficult to install a Wu Fang at home; he visited several renovation companies that had experience installing Wu Fang. He researched flooring options to ensure it wouldn’t be slippery for safety during movements.
He checked the height and distance of the bars needed, along with required equipment like thick mats, thin mats, bricks, resistance bands, and so on—purchasing everything himself.
He loved watching her dance as she confidently showcased herself in her passion. Although he occasionally felt jealous of her male partners, what could he do? As long as Hao Hao was happy, that was enough.
He knew she was too thin; it was a requirement for dancers. So he made healthy meals that wouldn’t make her gain weight in various ways. He specifically looked into which parts of dancers’ bodies were most prone to injury.
Every day without fail, he reminded her to stretch; warming up was essential before performing movements—she shouldn’t push herself too hard.
While she practiced at home on the Wu Fang, he would keep track of time and go in to help massage her when needed. She would lie on the mat with her eyes closed comfortably.
She was happy, and so was he. The house felt more like a home now.
Cheng Zhou was right; she was stubborn yet sincere. He had known from the beginning about her sincerity—she loved deeply, so much that it overflowed and hurt herself in the process.
He prepared for the worst; even if it meant risking everything, he wouldn’t back down. However, he hadn’t expected them to become so ruthless as to use her as leverage against him.
He thought that over time they would give up once he lost his best opportunity—but he was still too naive.
Everyone doubted their relationship; he knew many were waiting to see her fail and wondered when he would abandon her. People loved nothing more than to destroy unattainable beauty.
Let her break up with him, that way she would suffer less. However, he never expected things to develop this way. The appearance of Shang Beibei disrupted his plans, and in an unseen manner, he hurt her. The last thing he wanted was for her to be harmed; he had become the very source of her pain.
Every day, he was consumed by guilt and regret, knowing that what had happened could not be changed. As long as she was Hao Hao, he could endure anything. Jiang Shiyu was cold and proud; he willingly accepted being Shi Yili's pawn. He thought that if it meant bringing her peace, it would be enough.
It was he who had dragged her into this whirlpool, and he deserved to be punished. Yet, the girl's condition worsened, and he remained oblivious. The day he learned she was suffering from Depression, he had just arrived in America. Standing in the schoolyard, he read the news and felt as if his heart were shattering.
His blood surged, rushing to his head; his eyes turned crimson with rage. He loathed himself as a tide of pent-up anger, unwillingness, and regret washed over him. Nearby, the thick bark of a ginkgo tree splintered, creating a hole the size of a fist. His knuckles were bruised and bloodied as heavy rain poured down on him, mixing with his blood and flowing into the muddy ground.
It was his fault that she had fallen into Depression. Even while burning with fever, he couldn’t think of seeking treatment for himself; instead, he immediately contacted the director of her hospital. The director was a friend of his grandfather's and readily agreed to his request.
After everything was arranged, he fainted from the fever. It was Jiang Yuan who found him in his apartment and took him to the hospital. Sometimes he wondered if he should just let go. Each time that thought crossed his mind, pain shot through his heart, making it hard to breathe. He couldn't do it; if Yun Li fell for someone else, he could accept that.
What he couldn't accept was letting go himself. He knew very well that in this lifetime, his heart would only belong to her. He loved her deeply—far too much for any remedy now. Unrequited love was indeed a painful burden to bear!
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