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墨書 Inktalez
OMG
One time, by chance, I found a CD from that summer. I remember it was raining quite heavily outside the model house that afternoon. At that time,
You are still by my side.
I couldn't understand the foreign language that came in, I only knew it was an emotional narration. After a few electronic floating notes, it started to rain in reality, as if on cue.
Last night she called, and for a moment I gathered the courage to go downstairs. Since coming outside, my sense of insecurity has been growing stronger, especially because the terrain is indeed unsafe. Behind the fire door are two half-open stairwell doors, making it easy for any malicious person to attack. If I'm not the one hunting, it's really bad.
At night, tossing and turning in bed.
She actually called.
Why do I feel surprised.
It's better to have someone accompany you, so I gathered up the courage and went downstairs.
"Do you have an umbrella? It's raining."
"No, I don't."
"It will rain like that."
"I like it."
I have to admit that the soundproofing of this house is excellent, until I opened the door and walked out, only then did I hear the sound of pouring rain.
"Okay, I didn't expect the rain to be so heavy."
"You should have brought an umbrella, the rain is too heavy."
"Is it also raining on your side?"
"I can hear the rain outside the window."
"How about you,
coming back."
We never had that conversation in the end, and it seems like we've let bygones be bygones.
But,
how did you come back?
"Do you know, since you called, I can't just go downstairs to throw out the trash."
"Where else are you planning to go?"
"At least I'm going to the nearby LAWSON to buy a bottle of Coke."
"Oh, at this hour, only LAWSON is open."
"I can already smell the aroma of udon noodles."
*Ding ding*
"Hello, master, do you know how to get to zone C?"
"I'm not very sure, I think you should go straight ahead. This direction leads to zone D, I just came from there."
"Okay, thank you."
"No problem. Actually, I don't understand either. It's just that if we keep going in that direction, it's a dead end. That's the last building. Oh,"
The rain is getting heavier.
"Can you still hear me speaking?"
The rain is so heavy that I've put my phone in a plastic bag, and now I'm speaking directly into the bag.
"I can't hear clearly."
Silently walking along a path, finally opened the door of that house again. There was a smell of plums in the air, sour and sweet. It had all dissipated when I was on the first floor.
I still fear passing through those few doors, always feeling like something might rush out. The creaking sound of the door opening, I'm afraid it will startle the child.
"Can you hear me? I'm here."
"Your voice sounds a bit hoarse, did your phone get wet?"
"Really? Let me shake it, how about now?"
"I'm doing better."
"How have you been recently?"
I asked without thinking, but also felt like there wasn't much to say. Catching up feels like a different kind of luxury, the cicadas outside started chirping, I hope it's not daytime.
Dada...
Dada...
The pointer is turning, stroke by stroke,
It's already evening.
Open the door to the balcony, and the cumulonimbus clouds hang low and fall. The lights in the rain are like unstable clusters climbing forward.
Suddenly, a gust of wind.
The mind recalls such words,
Yet still does not understand.
"I am filling out my college application."
"Isn't it the 29th?"
"I'll just fill it in that day. Before that, I have to decide for myself."
"I see."
I didn't expect her to speak first. The uninteresting notes from the square far away came through the silence, along with the shadows cast by the light.
"Do you have time?"
"I'm pretty free."
"Hey, I want you to help me search for these universities."
"Sure, what do you want to search for?"
"For this one, first check if their dormitories have air conditioning."
I didn't expect that the half bag of sunflower seeds I bought had already become a bit damp, and they felt soft when I bit into them. A glimpse of a shadow at the corner of my eye startled me, but when I looked again, it was just the wet clothes I had taken off earlier. Anything blurry around the corner is indeed scary. I rearranged the messy sheets on the sofa, which had been in disarray from my sleep these past few days.
Hmm...
Suddenly remembered the rain I saw when I looked up at the sky just now, the bitter rain fell into my eyes, blurring my vision, and in the confusion, it looked very much like the lines drawn by a painter.
Is it because of the recent rain that the hot water feels sticky on the body, and the faint fishy smell in the rainwater is also steamed out.
"I'm back."
On the other end of the phone, I could still hear the sound of writing.
I arranged the pillows and lay down on the sofa. Her diary was within reach, serving as a coaster, with a blue ear scoop on top. I remembered sneaking into her classroom late at night a long time ago to take it. When a few close friends asked, I openly admitted to stealing it, and they didn't seem surprised.
"Why?"
"I don't know."
I never argue, a million times I don't f***ing know, because I don't f***ing understand either.
Reading this diary, it feels like there is a sense of satisfaction in my heart.
Flipping through the diary, it seems like I can understand what can change.
Thought the traces of the past could save something, but it's all just a futile effort.
Just wondering,
How did you come back?
I never thought that the first thing I'd do when I woke up was to eat some leftover rice from yesterday. I'm always craving it.
The grilled fish and eggplant at that place are really good, just a bit bland, catering to the taste of girls. The other place I ordered fish-flavored shredded pork from before was terrible, it was sweet. Who would mix rice and sugar together, it's really disgusting. The soda can was knocked over at some point, but it was already empty anyway.
A few weeks ago, I was worried about the increasingly hot weather, but this morning I was actually woken up by the cold. Although I knew the balcony door wasn't closed, I didn't think much of it. For ventilation, for cooling off.
It seems that just three days of severe cold can make people forget the scorching heat of summer. The sequence of events sometimes has a significant impact on people's perceptions.
The phone did not light up as usual. After pressing the power button a few times with no response, I guessed that it had run out of battery and shut down.
I gently opened the bedroom door and saw the child still sound asleep. It must still be quite early now.
I wanted to close the balcony door, but ended up walking outside instead.
Sure enough, it's just starting to get light outside.
On a summery morning, I can occasionally hear some cicadas chirping. The screen lights up, freezing time at 5:59.
It's still early, still early.
Comforting myself like this, I eagerly want to send her a good morning message, but I can't find any messages from last night. Strange, I don't feel sad either.
A glance at the ghostly figure startled me again, feeling annoyed, I decided to put away the clothes. It was completely dry, so I casually threw it on the sofa. My chest,
Not just the chest,
Everything feels burning hot.
Tearing open the new packaging in the fridge, I casually lay it on top of that diary.
It looks like it will be a long time before she is opened again.
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