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墨書 Inktalez
The second week began with the school's customary flag-raising ceremony every Monday. Yang Qianfan, having offended the principal the previous week, was wary of any new grievances being added to old ones, so he made sure to arrive at school early this morning, almost without being late, to participate in the ceremony.
After the flag-raising ceremony concluded, as per tradition, Principal Niu took to the stage to speak. Today, he was not wearing a wig; the glaring sunlight reflected off his bald head, making it shine as if it had been polished. As soon as he stepped onto the stage, a chorus of boos erupted from the audience, and whispers filled the air as everyone speculated about the colorful bruises on Principal Niu's face.
“Quiet, quiet,” Principal Niu said, covering his mouth and coughing sternly to assert his authority. “I know everyone is curious about how I got these injuries on my face…” He paused abruptly, leaving the audience hanging. Upon hearing him mention his injuries, Yang Qianfan felt a wave of fear wash over him; he swayed unsteadily and suddenly felt as if his ears had aged decades, ringing incessantly. Principal Niu pulled out a neatly folded white handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away a few beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead due to the sun and continued, “In truth, there’s nothing worth your time discussing about my injuries. I believe you would find it much more interesting to speculate about who will be Jay Chou's next girlfriend after his breakup with Hou Peicen or whether Faye Wong and Li Yapeng will divorce after getting married.” At this point, laughter erupted from the audience.
Principal Niu sighed deeply and continued with a hint of sentimentality, “I might as well tell you where my injuries came from. Early yesterday morning, while passing by Jiqing Street near a Tang Noodle Shop, I encountered a thief brazenly stealing in broad daylight. Naturally, my first instinct was to rush forward and apprehend him. However, just as I was about to grab him, a dog suddenly appeared out of nowhere and blocked my path. Of course, good dogs don’t block paths; I could tell immediately that this was a vicious dog. Judging by its appearance, I concluded that it was not a domestic dog but rather an imported foreign dog.”
As he mentioned "foreign dog," Yang Qianfan felt a darkness cloud his vision and quickly realized that Principal Niu was indirectly insulting him by using a pun on his surname. The principal continued, “This vicious dog was as fierce as its ancestors from the Eight-Nation Alliance; it chased me down half the street until I finally collapsed from exhaustion due to my age and physical condition. It was then that it seized its opportunity and left me looking like this.” Laughter erupted again from the audience.
“Through this incident, I finally understand why our country is intensifying efforts to eradicate stray dogs; we must resolutely carry out this campaign. Now I can’t help but wonder if it hadn’t been for that dog yesterday, perhaps I would have already caught that thief.” At this point, he sighed meaningfully with an expression full of regret and continued passionately, “Students, what does this incident illustrate? Isn’t it clear that ‘dogs’ are one of the significant reasons for our country’s stagnation in spiritual civilization?”
With fervor in his voice and gesturing emphatically with his hands, Principal Niu elaborated further: “From this incident, I have summarized three reasons: First, our country has not established a family planning policy specifically targeting dogs like we have for humans. Second, our educational quality has yet to penetrate all social strata—such as this unique stratum of dogs. Third…” Before he could finish his third point, he was interrupted by waves of laughter and applause from the audience.
In such situations where laughter erupted unexpectedly, Principal Niu would typically clear his throat dismissively and wave at the audience in an exaggerated manner as if trying to calm them down. He then composed himself and resumed speaking: “Thirdly, we must seek answers from the treasure trove of idioms left by our ancestors. I believe you are all familiar with the idiom ‘dogs rely on their masters’ power,’ which means dogs take advantage of their owners' social status to act recklessly. But we must ask ourselves: Is all blame placed solely on dogs? Do humans bear no responsibility? Not at all! I believe the problem lies precisely with people. As the saying goes: ‘If the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked; bad people cannot raise good dogs.’ If people had proper character, I believe they would raise well-behaved dogs! The fact is that there are too few upright individuals in China; just look at our corruption issues to understand that promoting ‘quality education’ among youth is urgent.”
At this moment, thunderous applause filled the hall. “Students,” he continued passionately, “you are the successors of 21st-century China; you are the hope for China’s future! It is crucial to cultivate you into well-rounded talents with both virtue and ability. As your principal, I feel an immense responsibility towards your education. Here I want to quote our great leader Chairman Mao: ‘The road ahead is long and arduous.’ Therefore, starting today, our school will vigorously rectify its ethos and enforce discipline strictly so that quality education can be comprehensively implemented here.”
“From now on,” he declared emphatically, “we will resolutely combat absenteeism, early departures from school, smoking, drug use—any form of misconduct! As principal, I will personally oversee whether your behavior is civilized and whether you study diligently. Furthermore, to help you improve your moral character through labor, I have decided that today we will begin inspections at our gymnasium. I hope those cleaning it will do an excellent job; do not let me down! Thank you.”
Principal Niu finally concluded his lengthy speech. Aside from that last remark directed slightly towards Yang Qianfan—who found it rather bland—the majority of his address had been passionate and fiery as if he were preparing for a revolution.
After Principal Niu finished speaking, almost no one except Yang Qianfan and Li Lingfei understood what he had been talking about; everyone else was left bewildered by his monologue. They were confused about whether he was discussing his facial injuries or foreign dogs. In any case, it was clear that Principal Niu's wrath would undoubtedly be directed at them all.
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