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Depression-Inducing Bubble
墨書 Inktalez
I have done a lot of things, but I am still not happy. I can never save myself. Life is a huge scam that countless predecessors have verified, but she still wants to continue - to jump. Because there is tomorrow, there is still tomorrow.
"Xiao Xiao, why did you come to find me now?" Clearly, when we met at eighteen, you had been hiding for a long time, and only today are you willing to appear again.
"I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I want to become a selfish, self-serving, beautiful poison."
"I receive a lot of information and signals, but I can't identify one of them. I judge too many things until I can't judge anymore."
"I think I must have missed something. In the process of growing up, what has changed? Is it my dream? Why did I change? How did my personality, completely opposite to before, form? Until today, it seems that I have changed a lot, but I care more and more about myself, self, freedom, ease, autonomy, myself... I like to give myself countless definitions, although none of them can truly define me."
A star should not be in a well; it should "gather together."
The moon should not be lonely, because the stars surround it, so many "kindred spirits of the night" accompany it, but in the end, there is only one moon in the world! Only the sun understands the moon.
She writes countless incredible words in the dark night, most of the time it's a lingering, heart-wrenching, and lingering story about love and redemption. She cares about all emotions, the extreme, the extremely great, the extremely ordinary, the extremely moderate. Just like in ABO differentiation, beta is always the last to be noticed, because of its silent attitude and position.
But she never wants to be that B, she wants to be the unique A in her own legendary life.
Xiao Xiao always remains gentle like a layer of silver-gray moonlight. Even though she is just a phantom, she is the most trustworthy person in the world to me.
She clearly cannot speak, because once she does, the dream will shatter. But she gazes at me with gentle eyes, just like when we first met. Xiao Xiao, have you always been by my side?
"But I can't see you, and I can't find you... I feel very sad every day, do you know?" I want to pour out my heart, but once Xiao Xiao is there, this story becomes a fairy tale. Only when everything is as illusory as a bubble, can it be considered a good ending.
I thought I easily fell in love with many people. Because of their appearance, because of their personality, but in the end, I realized: my interest in them was all because the people I love are all like me.
In fact, I only love myself, surprisingly. Being so unfeeling and indifferent, it reflects a broad-mindedness. I attract similar people, but they all have the same flaws - highly narcissistic and deeply lacking in love, while looking down on love.
In many songs, poems, and stories, I am searching for a true ending. After finding that ending, I know I don't need to write anymore. But I have never found the footnote for my soul.
Fate does have its own arrangements. I can feel the push and pull of destiny. In my ears, there are divine sounds of "wishes coming true" and "dreams becoming reality." Yet, I still feel fearful. For this mysterious and unpredictable journey of life, it's more like an adventure, with a one-way ticket to a destination from which there's no return.
It's late at night.
I want to spread out the light, using it as a thin blanket to barely warm Xiao Xiao's body.
It's almost dawn.
Xiao Xiao silently mouths "love" to me and Cherish.
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