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墨書 Inktalez
When Zhou Jie returned in the early morning, I was still awake. I lay in bed, staring at a small patch of darkness by the window. He approached me, reeking of alcohol, and tried to kiss me. I deliberately turned away. "You smell terrible, don’t come near me."
Zhou Jie’s movement froze in mid-air. After a long pause, he asked, "Why aren’t you sleeping?" He wrapped his arms around me and softly said, "What’s wrong? Who upset you? I’ll take care of them." I nestled into his embrace without responding.
After a long time, I finally spoke up. "Zhou Jie, let’s break up."
"Yiru, stop joking around, okay?" He released me and lay down. I heard him mutter under his breath, "Do you really think you’re still eighteen? You’re almost thirty; can’t you stop being so dramatic over trivial matters?"
His tone was filled with impatience. Yes, it had been ten years! I had long become a thorn in his life—neither painful nor bothersome, but impossible to remove.
It took me a while before I could say, "A Jie, if one day I were terminally ill, would you stay by my side?"
"That’s boring." Zhou Jie coldly interrupted me. "I have a lot of business to deal with and no time to coddle you. If you’re tired, just go to sleep."
Suddenly, Zhou Jie’s phone rang. He glanced at it, his brow furrowing slightly as irritation flickered in his eyes. I smiled and said, "A Jie, go ahead and take care of your work."
He murmured an "uh-huh," hurriedly put on his coat, and left.
My wedding with Zhou Jie is set for the third day of next month, and everything will be simple. I haven't told Zhou Jie about my illness. The doctor said it's already in the late stages, and there's no cure. I also haven't told Zhou Jie that I don't intend to marry him. What I truly want has never been given to me by him from the very beginning. Yet, I've never had the courage to ask him for it.
We have long lost sight of who has wronged whom over these ten years. I think I cannot accept Zhou Jie's betrayal. The thought of him being intimate with another woman is a nauseating notion for me. I've been with him since I was eighteen, and now it has been ten years. The doctor told me that I have at most six months left. However, I don't want to live these last six months as I did before. I want to be myself again, to return to that truly pure version of myself, and pursue my dreams.
So, I've booked a ticket to go abroad. While I still have the strength, I want to explore the places I've loved but never visited. Coincidentally, my flight is scheduled for the second day of next month, which is exactly the date of my wedding.
I crossed another day off the calendar.
There are only ten days left until I go abroad. I pondered how to make the most of these days.
Zhou Jie walked in from outside, covered in snow and wind.
"What are you thinking about?"
He stepped inside, casually took off his coat, and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug.
I instinctively tried to pull away, but he held me tightly. Zhou Jie seemed to be fixated on my short hair, yet he didn’t say much about it.
He looked at the date circled on my calendar, assuming I was eagerly anticipating the wedding. With a smile, he ruffled my hair and said, "The wedding is coming up soon. After we get married, I’ll help you grow your hair out; it will look even better that way."
"No need."
I pushed him away indifferently. "I like my short hair."
Zhou Jie frowned slightly. "Yiru, our wedding is about to happen."
I nodded. "I know."
He gazed at me in silence for a long while before finally speaking again. "I've been quite busy lately and haven't had time to come back often."
He waited for my response, hoping I would say something understanding or plead with him not to be so busy.
I opened my mouth to speak. "You can go."
Zhou Jie turned silently and left without looking back at me.
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