This morning, before leaving the house, my grandmother handed me a Paper Ball.
Instinctively, I squeezed it and realized there seemed to be a piece of paper inside. I placed the Paper Ball into my pencil case. Now, as I look at this piece of paper, a vague understanding dawns on me—I have been reborn.
In my previous life, during exams, my grandmother would secretly slip notes into my pockets. After I reported her, she pretended it was to ease my nerves and give me an advantage. The invigilator didn’t believe me; they confiscated the note and let me continue the exam. But the answers on that note were completely different from those on the test paper. That test paper should have been filled with my own answers.
Because I reported her, I was deemed Cheating and banned from taking exams for five years. During those five years, I fell into Depression. Medication and therapy didn’t help. Eventually, after a long struggle, I began to improve, but the doctor advised me to rest.
However, my grandmother brought an old man to introduce as a friend for me. I refused to meet him, and she sat at home crying, claiming I was unfilial. Eventually, I agreed to meet him.
That man dragged me into a hotel room, tore my clothes, and pinned me down on the bed, saying there was no need to pretend; he knew what he wanted. I dialed for help, but my grandmother snatched the phone away and hung up. She covered my mouth and said fiercely, “Just this once, bear with it. Otherwise, you’ll help me?”
I struggled until I was bruised all over and managed to escape back home. Yet they said I had merely been taken advantage of; it was nothing worth mentioning. My father scolded me for being reckless and not valuing myself.
My mother said I should marry him, and not let this matter ruin everything. My condition was getting worse, and I felt a dull desire to die. That day, I took a lot of pills and attempted suicide by cutting my wrist in the bathroom.
I woke up in the hospital, and my mother asked me why I did it. I smiled and said, "I am finally free." This time, Mingzhe protected himself. I wouldn’t tell them that Grandma had slipped me a note.
After the exams, I would take my mother to settle in another city. Sitting in the exam room, I looked at the familiar test paper. A long-lost sense of familiarity washed over me. I even experienced a strange sense of reality.
In this provincial exam, all the questions were quite similar. With my level of preparation, answering them wasn’t difficult. When the bell rang, I put down my pen and checked my paper. Then, I submitted it on time and left the exam room.
On my way home, I passed by People's Park. In my previous life, it was there that Grandma tricked me into a blind date. This time, I walked around the park and bought a grilled cold noodle, eating as I made my way home.
When I returned to the entrance of my apartment complex, I found relatives who usually never showed up gathered at the door.
"Isn't that Xiao Ran? How did you do on the exam?"
"Oh wow, Xiao Ran looks really lovely! I have a nephew who works at the tax bureau; are you seeing anyone?"
I scoffed lightly, "I don’t even know if I passed; how do you all know my results so quickly?"
The relatives chuckled awkwardly, "Isn't this just us being concerned about you?"
I stormed upstairs and knocked on the door.
"Grandma, didn't you promise me to keep it a secret? Why does everyone know I took the civil service exam?"
In my previous life, Grandma had assured me she wouldn't leak any news about my exam. This time, she went ahead and spilled the beans to our relatives.
With a smile, Grandma replied, "Xiao Ran, I'm just looking out for you. If you pass, you'll become a civil servant; if not, your aunt can help you find a job. We're all family, so it's only right to support each other."
After the exam, I rejected all congratulatory calls.
I hadn't expected that relatives would still call me. It suddenly dawned on me that at this point in my previous life, I had already passed the civil service exam.
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