"Who is he?" I asked, frowning.
Before Li Zexuan could respond, there was a sudden knock on the door. An anxious young assistant sent by the director rushed in.
"Li Ge, you and Yueyue Jie have been off-camera for too long; the audience is starting to complain."
I had my own grievances about the program's arrangements, but I couldn't take it out on a girl who had no authority. So, I had no choice but to return to the beach with Li Zexuan.
Feng Qi had already gone back. Her red-rimmed eyes were concealed under foundation and eyeshadow, and with her excellent acting skills, there was no sign of distress on camera.
Li Zexuan stood in front of the grill, somewhat distracted, lost in thought.
Yuning leaned over and whispered to me, "Have you resolved it?"
I replied quietly, "It's settled."
"Sisters united! Shao Yue's husband was taken from someone else, and now Feng Qi is going to repeat the same thing."
Yuning clicked her tongue and patted my head. "Actually, I quite like you."
"Don't take those foolish netizens' comments too seriously."
After saying that, she walked off to the beach and went for a swim.
At four in the afternoon, we packed our things and headed back to the villa. All the way, Li Zexuan held my hand tightly; no matter how much I tried to pull away, I couldn't.
I had already pondered his strange attitude repeatedly at the beach that afternoon and suspected he might be worried about me taking too much of his money.
So once we were back in the room and there were no live cameras around, I spoke up immediately.
"We can talk about dividing our assets again."
"After all, we've been married for five years; even without feelings, we still have responsibilities."
I counted on my fingers. "Look, about seventy to eighty percent of our joint assets are what you've earned. My income is relatively low, so how about we split the money sixty-forty and leave the house to you?"
"…"
I had to take a step back. "Fine, fifty-fifty works too."
I had imagined countless possible responses from Li Zexuan.
I never expected him to suddenly pull me into an embrace, his voice taut as he said, "I'll give you all the money. Can we not get a divorce?"
I was taken aback, struggling to find my voice after a long pause.
"…What?"
Through the thin fabric of my dress, his warm palm pressed against my back.
"Even if he comes back, we've been married for five years. I may not measure up to him in some ways, but the fact that he could leave you to go abroad shows that he wasn't truly sincere about you."
Li Zexuan's tone was tinged with bitterness. "Yueyue, I've gained some fame and a decent income now. I won't let you live a hard life anymore."
I had to interrupt him. "What are you talking about? Who is he?"
"Your first love."
"My first love is…"
As I spoke halfway, I suddenly stopped.
Fragments of memories flooded my mind. Before I met Li Zexuan, I had a boyfriend who was in the same class as me in high school. During my teenage years, I was quite overweight—standing at 5'7" and weighing 180 pounds. I was the target of jokes among all the boys in class.
After struggling to lose weight in college, that guy suddenly came back into my life and confessed his feelings for me. A classmate secretly told me that he had made a bet with someone, wagering that even if I became beautiful, I would still be insecure like in high school and would be easy to win over.
So I played along, letting him think I had genuinely fallen for him before ultimately rejecting him. He was furious and insulted me, saying, "You fat pig! I still have pictures of your high school uniform bursting at the seams."
Then he posted my photos online, mocking me relentlessly. After finally reporting him to the police to resolve the issue, my disdain for the opposite sex reached its peak. It was around that time that I met Li Zexuan while he was selling alcohol, and I made a flippant remark.
Later on, there were those few times when I got drunk in front of Li Zexuan. I held his face and giggled foolishly, saying, "Handsome, you look just like my first love."
In truth, I only have one first love. It was that night when Li Zexuan stood in front of me with a drink menu, his back straight as an arrow. Everything became clear.
I sat back comfortably, feigning a cough, and said slowly, "How did you know about him?"
Li Zexuan's ears turned slightly red. Yet he answered honestly, "When we first met, you were in a bad mood because of your breakup. Plus, I looked at your phone."
"You had just gotten married a few months prior, and while chatting with Xu Zhi, you mentioned that your white moonlight had gone abroad and that finding a substitute wasn't such a bad thing. I was sitting next to you and saw it."
...That was during our discussion about the novel's plot.
"So, does that mean you like me?"
Li Zexuan closed his eyes for a moment, his expression revealing a sense of desperation, yet he nodded. He liked me but thought I saw him as a substitute. He feared that if he spoke up, even our contract marriage would be at risk.
Looking back, Li Zexuan had always treated me well. During our tough times, we lived in a rental without heating. It just so happened to be the coldest winter in ten years. I had over-dieted before and my body was weak; even wrapped in blankets, my hands and feet remained icy.
Li Zexuan would hold my feet in his arms until they warmed up. After running a stall at the night market for several months, he was discovered by a talent scout and entered the entertainment industry. Life remained difficult before he became famous.
With the rise of short videos, I wanted to try making money through social media and needed to buy filming equipment and rent venues. He contributed all his earnings to support me.
Whenever we were home together, he took care of me meticulously. So even when wearing a wig and costume, if he saw me kick off my high heels, his first reaction would be to kneel down and help me put them back on.
When he was photographed on set that time, he immediately announced on Weibo that we were a married couple. Many fans expressed their discontent; some even edited my obituary photo. Li Zexuan issued a statement suing those who caused the most uproar.
This sparked quite a wave of unfollowing, leading his management company to forcibly take over his account.
He appeared calm during the interview, stating that he and Feng Qi were merely work partners.
The fans, however, didn’t care; they were all over the place with their wild speculations. "Real colleagues wouldn’t clarify; it’s those who avoid suspicion that are truly in love." "The last couple who said that has already made it official."
Under the spotlight, everything was magnified. Later on, he accepted a variety show, which, in hindsight, seemed to carry a hint of silencing the overly enthusiastic fans.
He’s so good to me; why do I feel like he doesn’t like me? I tried hard to recall and finally remembered, "But we haven’t had any intimate moments! You’ve kissed Feng Qi more times than you have with me!"
"Those weren’t kisses; they were work," Li Zexuan said, gazing into my eyes. "Actually, I’ve kissed you many times while you were asleep."
"…"
I coughed twice, feigning indifference. "But we haven’t had a married life together." Except for the night we got our marriage certificate.
The bright lights in the room illuminated Li Zexuan’s throat as he swallowed hard and suddenly turned his face away.
"That’s because… you said my skills were terrible, that it hurt too much, and that you hated me…" Certain deliberately buried memories surged back.
Five years ago, on a night when both Li Zexuan and I were inexperienced, it ended up with him being scolded by me. We tossed and turned all night until I finally felt a hint of pleasure. That was the only intimate moment in our five years of marriage.
Li Zexuan softly asked me, "Do you still want to divorce me?"
I fell silent.
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