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墨書 Inktalez
I could hear the deep disappointment in his tone, and I couldn't understand why he suddenly felt this way.
Listening to his voice made my heart race, a feeling of uncertainty creeping in.
I stared at him, trying to find an answer, but unfortunately, there was none.
He asked me, "Have you ever heard of 'placing oneself in a desperate situation to find a way out'? Do you know how difficult it is to start over?"
Looking at his expression, I suddenly realized that I might have truly misunderstood him.
Now, Chuchen was almost rendered useless; even if he were healed, it would be hard for him to rise again.
Starting over is easy to say, but everyone knows how difficult it is to actually do it.
It takes immense willpower for someone to stand up again; the quickest way is through hatred.
The more he despises his current self, the harder he will strive to change.
Men do not need weakness or sympathy; what they seek is strength—more strength.
I am different from Mu Xuanche; as a woman, I need care and compassion.
But Chuchen is a man; what he needs is power—constant power. Only by defeating everything can he find himself again and rise once more.
Mu Xuanche seems intent on pushing Chuchen into a corner, forcing him to confront his current miserable self and get back up.
Realizing I had misunderstood Mu Xuanche, I reached out to pull him back. I wanted to apologize to him.
But he shrugged me off. He didn't leave me; today he seemed like a broken record, talking non-stop.
At the moment my hands fell empty, my heart chilled as well. I might have truly hurt him.
"Do you think Chuchen feels wronged and insulted by me? Have you considered that continuing like this would only lead him to insult himself? Only the strong are bullied."
In an instant, realizing the anger he felt from being misunderstood, I panicked, worried that Mu Xuanche would ignore me.
I stood up and threw myself into his arms, holding him tightly, afraid that if I let go, he would disappear.
Fortunately, he didn’t push me away. He gently stroked my head.
"Yan Xi, you haven't experienced enough. You don't understand the pain of 'the victor is king while the loser is a bandit.' Only by becoming stronger can you protect those around you. If I were in Chuchen's position today, have you thought about what you would do?"
His words froze me in place.
What would I do if something happened to him?
I imagined all those who held grudges against me would rush at me for revenge. Without Mu Xuanche's support, I felt weak beyond measure.
He was constantly growing stronger, all for the purpose of protecting me.
Understanding his feelings, I quietly leaned against him.
But at that moment, he pushed me away, leaving me alone in the woods.
"Yan Xi, we both need some time to think."
He walked away, and I stood frozen in place, contemplating every word he had just said.
Mu Xuanche was right; his actions just now were the best solution for Chuchen. Meanwhile, I had only been thinking about how Mu Xuanche would feel jealous, completely overlooking what was going on in his heart. He was not at fault; it was my lack of trust in him that led to this situation.
I sat in the courtyard until it was dark, and then I went to Bai Qiling's room, which was now where Chuchen rested. As soon as I entered, I saw Chuchen lying on the bed in a state of despair.
Seeing him like this left me at a loss for words. When he noticed my presence, he closed his eyes and shouted in desperation, "Leave! Just go away!"
Unable to speak, I could only pat him gently, trying to signal him to look at me. After some persistent coaxing, he finally opened his eyes in annoyance and glared at me.
Realizing something was off, he asked me what was wrong. I forced a bitter smile and typed on my phone to show him that I couldn't talk at the moment.
He seemed anxious and asked what had happened. When he questioned why Bai Qiling hadn't treated me, I smiled back at him and indicated that I was fine now.
"Chuchen, are you willing to live your life as a wandering soul forever?"
After reading the message I sent him, he froze for a moment before suddenly sitting up and clutching his head, pounding it repeatedly.
His body hadn’t fully recovered, and he didn’t even have the strength to hit himself.
“I’m worthless,” he screamed in a fit of despair, filled with unwillingness and frustration.
I pulled his hands away from his head, believing that he could pull himself together again.
But he was acting like he had lost his mind and pushed me away with all his might.
The sudden movement caused me to fall to the ground.
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with pain and anxiety, but he didn’t dare come closer, only sitting on the bed and watching me.
As I tried to stand up and walk over to him, he shouted at me again, “Please, just go! Leave quickly!”
I didn’t move. In response, he slammed his head against the wall.
A burly man outside heard the noise and rushed in, grabbing me.
“Yan Xi, what good is there in being with someone like him? He won’t help himself; why do you care?”
The man had always been protective of me and couldn’t stand to see me hurt. Seeing Chuchen act this way toward me made him especially angry as he pulled me toward the door.
At the entrance, I turned back to glance at Chuchen.
He sat on the bed in a daze, a bitter smile slowly forming at the corners of his mouth, unsure whether he was mocking himself or the brute.
All the way, the brute escorted me back to the wooden cabin.
"Brute, if you were in Chuchen's situation, what would you do?"
He answered almost without hesitation, "My master taught me that when captured by an enemy, you either fight to the death, making it a life-or-death struggle, or you bow your head and play the fool, waiting for an opportunity. I'm straightforward; I prefer to fight to the death, causing chaos for everyone."
Mu Xuanche's way of teaching the brute was indeed peculiar; one was a fierce tiger while the other was a coiling dragon.
Yet both required immense courage—either facing death without fear or enduring humiliation and waiting for the right moment.
King Goujian of Yue endured hardships for ten years, even swallowing the excrement of his enemies; such patience is not something just anyone can possess.
Chuchen had been knocked down all at once, and it would be difficult for him to stand up again.
But I couldn't just watch him sink deeper into despair. I had no romantic feelings for him; it was simply that friends were scarce in this society, and I didn't want to see a once sincere friend become like this.
Lost in thought, I realized I had returned to the wooden cabin before I knew it.
The brute left me here and walked away, but I stood at the door, hesitant to enter.
Seeing the dim yellow light inside told me that Mu Xuanche was there. I didn't dare go in; I couldn't face him.
I feared his anger even more than his indifference.
Reflecting on all this time, it seems that I have always been the one to lose my temper.
Though he appears cold and distant, he possesses a remarkable capacity for tolerance, always allowing me to act out my whims.
With my hand on the doorknob, I hesitated several times, lacking the courage to push the door open.
In the end, I could not overcome the fear within me; I felt like a fool too ashamed to face reality.
Ultimately, I decided to let go.
Tonight, I would spend the night in this cell, pondering my thoughts and seeing what effect it might have.
As I turned to leave, I suddenly heard the sound of a door opening behind me.
I turned back to see Mu Xuanche leaning against the door in casual attire, his arms crossed over his chest.
Bathed in the soft yellow light, he looked incredibly handsome.
Despite the gentle illumination, tears still betrayed me and slipped down my cheeks.
“Why are you standing at the door? Come inside,” he called out to me.
His words struck me like a spell, and without hesitation, I rushed toward him, throwing myself into his embrace.
“Not so fast; we need to eat first,” he said with a teasing tone.
I blushed as I leaned into his embrace.
He pulled me to sit on a chair, and in front of us was still a simple meal of one meat and one vegetable, though the ingredients were different from those at noon.
Without needing to look, I knew it was his cooking. He placed the bowl and chopsticks in my hands.
"Eat. Are you waiting for me to feed you?"
His half-joking remark made me quickly lift the bowl, shoveling rice into my mouth.
He gently attended to me from the side, worried that I might choke if I ate too fast.
He placed the deboned fish into my bowl, feeding me bite by bite.
"Slow down. No one is going to steal your food."
His deep, magnetic voice captivated me. He consumed me little by little, and I found myself willingly surrendering to him.
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