This amount of money is just a drop in the bucket for me. I find that my desires are getting bigger and bigger! This money is not even enough for me to maintain appearances at every dinner event, because as you all know, I have to attend every dinner event!
My hairstyle, my clothes, my hat, my gloves, my shoes - these are all things that I care a lot about and pay great attention to. I can't just make do with anything!
My birth does not determine my destiny, I have always admonished myself this way!
The Jan family Why are they so wealthy, so admirable! It's the result of seizing the opportunity at a historic moment and working hard!
As for me, it's as if fate has treated me like a stepchild, throwing me to the lowest rung of society. It has bestowed upon me a noble heart, yet it has not given me a fortune of thousands of francs, in other words, it has not given me bread, indeed it has not given me bread. And now that I have awakened, if I don't have some thoughts and take action, I may be shut out from the doors of the wealthy for the rest of my life! I have traveled among the ordinary people for years, just like the scorching heat in the desert, only to find a clear spring. If I don't quench my thirst now, and instead hesitate once again and remain inactive, I may lose even more.
To be honest, I'm not that stupid! Life is a selfish desert, everyone is for themselves, and everyone is planning for themselves. So I still need to quickly accumulate my wealth!
My passion for Taliesin has gradually faded over time. I have no mercy in saying that she is of no use to me anymore, just a tool I need physically!
As I get older, I find that my sexual desire is getting stronger. I need a woman by my side, that's all!
In terms of appearance, in the high society circles of Paris, France, beautiful women are everywhere, she is just an ordinary one! In our later life, we also had quarrels, but most of the quarrels were related to her two daughters. She actually saved money privately for her daughters, which made me very angry! I don't have extra money for her to do such things!
Under Zhang's protection, my reputation has been growing, my circle has been expanding, and I have been meeting more and more social people! In this situation, my expenses have been increasing.
What makes me angry is that Zhangjian has not increased my salary at all, and the promise of a promotion and raise has not been fulfilled, leaving me feeling frustrated and like it's a distant prospect!
This made me have thoughts about him in my heart, and I gradually began to guard against him. Sometimes I also lie to him. In short, I am no longer so loyal to him!
In my heart, I am very clear that he is deliberately suppressing me because he knows me very well, knows my ambitions, and is worried that my growth will be detrimental to him.
Later, Jun Zheng and he also had a very unpleasant quarrel!
After the completion of the house expansion project, he did not immediately fulfill his promise, but only reluctantly helped him get back to his unit after being urged by Huang several times.
Because at that time, my relationship with Huang was also quite tense. I only heard about it, and as for the specific details, only Huang himself knows best. Sometimes I really miss Huang, miss the happiness we had together in the past. Our contact now is less, and we are gradually drifting apart...
Taliesin unexpectedly got pregnant. This news both surprised and delighted me. I was delighted that I could be a father, but surprised that I would have another expense to deal with. I need to speed up my money-making!
After she got pregnant, it's like she became a different person. Her emotions became very irritable and she easily gets angry. Even over very small things, she would get mad at me. For the sake of the child, I can only tolerate her, but I don't know how long I have to endure her temper!
One night, her pregnancy symptoms flared up, she was vomiting and restless, looking very uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep peacefully and stayed with her the whole time!
But some of the things she casually said made me have to leave in a panic!
She's actually sick, comparing me to her ex-husband. Who took better care of her during her pregnancy! Who was more attentive! Any man would not be able to tolerate her behavior!
When I returned home again, she cried and told me that she was bleeding and had lost the baby, she couldn't save the baby!
I saw that she was quite emotional, and she was already a patient, so I didn't want to upset her further, so I didn't say anything, but you can imagine how I felt inside!
After that, she became crazy and would always bring up the child that wasn't saved! I think she's depressed, I'm really depressed, and I can't hold on anymore! I started to spend money recklessly, looking for fun everywhere, and also developed a drinking problem.
My life has lost a lot of joy, and financially it has become increasingly tight, the wealthy life I imagined is becoming more and more distant... My inner world is becoming chaotic again...
Every time at this moment, Shaw DeBang will appear in my mind...
Yes, I went to see him again, and we drank together until dawn!
"Do not let a woman ruin your career. We are people who want to accomplish things and cannot stop here! Pull yourself together, my child!" How come I feel for the first time that Shaw DeBang cares for me like a family member.
My heart started to lean towards him, and I shared many of my inner thoughts with him. I feel like he understands me! I boasted to him, this time I am determined, even if it means using any means necessary, I will quickly achieve my goal and have the money to do what I want to do!
I don't know why, but I always inexplicably pressure myself, telling myself that I don't have much time left, and I should immediately strive to do what I want to do, otherwise I will regret it for the rest of my life!
Losing my child has dealt me a heavy blow, and Taliesin's emotions are also very unstable, everything has plunged my life into a quagmire, and I can't extricate myself!
I've run out of money again. I don't even know how many times I've come to see old woman!
The other day, I used a famous watch as collateral and borrowed some money. I've already spent it all. old woman actually charged me such a high interest rate, and I still haven't paid back the principal to get my stuff back.
Do you know what my life is like now? I have fallen into a vicious cycle, constantly paying for Taliesin's medication every month, and constantly maintaining the expenses of this household. I also have to keep paying off the high monthly interest! I don't even know when I can give her the principal and end the days of paying high interest!
Every time I knock on old woman's door, I can't stand the contempt in her eyes! She always speaks in a way that pierces your heart. I hate her to the core!
I have some crooked thoughts about her.
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