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墨書 Inktalez
I want to go to the mountains to see Mother.
I want to tell her that her daughter is living well.
I repeatedly remind myself that I am not qualified to wait for death; I must fight against this illness and strive for more time.
Time is truly precious.
I hope I can live a little longer, so I can spend more time with Mother.
One evening, I unexpectedly saw Huang Yu.
He was wandering by the flowerbed.
When I spotted him, I noticed he seemed very troubled, pacing by the pond.
Huang Yu had changed significantly; his hair covered his brows and eyes, and he looked utterly dejected, even his eyes had lost their former sparkle.
"Huang Yu, what are you doing?" I walked over and asked curiously.
"Liu Yun." Huang Yu's eyes lit up slightly when he saw me, but then dimmed again. "Are you sick?"
"No," I shook my head and replied calmly, "Is there something you need?"
"I..." Huang Yu hesitated, "I have a lot to say to you. Can you listen to me for a while?"
I looked at Huang Yu and nodded, "Go ahead."
I wanted to know what Huang Yu really wanted to say.
"Liu Yun, during this time, I have been living a grounded life, and only now do I realize that without the halo of Consort and the favor of Your Majesty, I am just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who knows nothing," Huang Yu said with a bitter smile.
"I once thought I had the talent to govern the world, but I discovered that I was wrong."
"I overestimated myself."
"During this time, I've thought a lot. I remembered our past days and thought of Xiao Yue."
"Xiao Yue is a wonderful person. When I was with her, I felt relaxed; in front of her, I could freely be myself and do what I wanted."
"She loved listening to me play the lute, enjoyed watching me paint, and liked to see me write."
"She said I was the most talented person in the world."
"Back then, Xiao Yue looked at me with admiration in her eyes."
"When I'm with you, Liu Yun, I feel more pressure. I have to work hard to be my best to be worthy of you."
"I know I've let you down. In a moment of impulse, I not only harmed Xiao Yue but also hurt you."
"Liu Yun, do you still want to listen to me?" Huang Yu asked cautiously as he looked at me.
I quietly gazed at Huang Yu, observing his disheveled appearance, feeling a mix of emotions inside.
"Huang Yu, your problem is that everything has come too easily for you, making you forget to cherish it," I said lightly.
"As one approaches death, their words become kind. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore."
"Huang Yu, I hope you can remember the lessons from before and not make the same mistakes again."
“Do you hate me, Liu Yun?” Huang Yu suddenly asked.
“Hate,” I answered honestly.
“I hate you too,” Huang Yu said bitterly.
“Then let’s just hate each other,” I replied lightly.
“But, Liu Yun, I really miss you,” Huang Yu said, looking at me with deep affection.
“Huang Yu, don’t say that,” I shook my head and said coldly. “I am your Yun'er, but I was once your Yun'er. There is no future.”
Despite my efforts to fight against the illness, my body continued to weaken rapidly.
The pain was unbearable.
Still, I insisted on arranging matters in the manor.
I wrote my will.
I sent away my personal maid, allocating part of the funds from Princess Manor to the poor and giving another part to my mother.
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