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墨書 Inktalez
You Were Born a Nobleman, Chapter Seventy-Eight: The Taste of the Person You Fancy is Quite Ordinary
Tang Zisu had many troubles after her transmigration, but the most annoying one was waking up in another place after being knocked out. So this time, when she opened her eyes and saw the Shark Lantern Red Silk Tent and Mandarin Duck Quilt behind the couch, she automatically closed her eyes again. Damn it, out of sight, out of mind; they were all just monsters anyway, some were just more beautiful or ugly than others. She had seen the Investiture of the Gods and Journey to the West, and even Alien vs. Predator and 2012: Zombie Siege. These little things were nothing more than cosplayers, just cucumbers and vegetables!
"Get up and groom yourself. I have invited many friends to our wedding; don’t embarrass me," said Shu Que Wu Pan.
The dry and noisy voice sounded like a crow cawing, and Tang Zisu pulled the blanket over her head.
"Get up; I don’t have Kong Xuan's patience." The person yanked the blanket away.
"Can you not mention Kong Xuan? I thought you loved him so much that you..." The rest of Tang Zisu's words got swallowed back down, and she almost choked on them. Damn, this person was creatively dark!
The person in front of her was pitch black; even Africans had white teeth, but this person’s teeth were black too. No wonder there were so many lights in the room; if there were fewer, he would just blend into the background of the night.
Tang Zisu couldn't help but chuckle.
The person's hand pinched Tang Zisu's chin, and she suddenly felt that she didn’t need to whiten her skin. It turned out it wasn’t that she wasn’t white enough; it was that there wasn’t a dark enough comparison. Compared to this person, she was as white as snow against ebony wood.
"Be gentle; I know why you snatched the bride. It must be hard for you to look like this. With such a show-off appearance, how can you keep a low profile?"
The man naturally couldn’t understand what Tang Zisu was saying but sensed it wouldn’t be a compliment. He tightened his grip on her delicate chin and said sternly, "You better behave yourself. Looking this pale is truly unattractive. If it weren’t for that peacock, I wouldn’t even bother looking at you. If you provoke me again, I’ll let you taste my methods first."
Damn it, he really wasn’t from the same dimension; even their aesthetic standards were worlds apart.
Tang Zisu knew how to read the situation; she immediately shut her mouth and said nothing, but her big eyes blinked desperately as if to say she would do whatever he wanted—completely without dignity.
The man probably found Tang Zisu’s blinking particularly irritating and threw a punch at her.
Ah, Tang Zisu's scream echoed through the air as she covered her eyes, tears flowing like a river that had burst its banks in sheer joy.
The Black Man muttered to himself while shaking his fist, "I haven't even hit yet, and it already hurts this much. Did my technique of hitting from afar improve? Good, the day my skills reach perfection will be the day Kong Xuan meets his doom."
Tang Zisu, still covering her eyes, asked, "Why are you targeting Kong Xuan? Do you have a grudge against him? This—great king, it's better to resolve grievances than to deepen them. We are all demons here; let's make it easier for each other!"
"Stop with the nonsense; I don't understand what you're saying. Hurry up and clean up. If you embarrass me, I'll throw you into the oil pot."
An oil pot? That would waste so much oil. Even though you are a great king, the productivity here is so low and the people live in hardship. Don't be so extravagant! Even gutter oil has its value. Are you sure I can fry something crispy and delicious?
The Black Man couldn't take it anymore. How did this freak grow up like this? Once Kong Xuan arrives, he would just kill him. If he really married into the family, it would be a living nightmare.
After the Black Man left, Tang Zisu raised the corners of her mouth. The chattering technique she learned from Little Fish wasn't bad at all. However, just doing this wasn't enough; she needed something more intense to make this non-Han feel nauseous. It would be best if she could directly eliminate that thing to avoid any trouble.
Tang Zisu approached the dressing table and casually picked up a small box. Upon opening it, she found it was Crimson Blush Flower. Since her time traveling began, due to her identity as a witch and her resistance to being a woman, she had rarely come into contact with cosmetics. Now that she had some free time, curiosity and mischief got the better of her as she began applying it.
While Tang Zisu was calmly dealing with her situation in the demon lair, Little Fish and the others were having a much harder time. They had barely escaped when Jumping slipped and fell back into a deep pit.
It was truly a divine twist of fate. Would they end up obtaining the Holy Fire Order of the Ming Cult? Would Little Fish master the Nine Yang Divine Skill and become invincible?
The answer was of course no; even if they practiced, it would be Jumping who would end up with a beard and abs—who could compete with her?
After a long while, they finally regained consciousness. Jumping felt something soft beneath her; it didn't hurt at all. She pressed down with her chest to test the sensation.
"Mm." A weak sound came from below her, startling Jumping. Oh no! She had crushed Little Fish's uncle! If he died, their family line would end, and her stepmother would surely fight her to the death. Jumping quickly turned over the person beneath her who was lying face down. Little Fish's face was flattened like a pancake, with two streams of bright red blood oozing from his nose.
Using the faint light filtering through the cracks in the stone wall, Jumping deduced that it was already dawn. She hastily wiped Little Fish's face and scolded him, "You coward! Get up! It's already bright outside; we need to get out of here."
Little Fish breathed heavily without any sign of waking up. Jumping sneered and rolled up her sleeves: "If your bones are cheap, then you deserve a beating! Just watch me slap your face until it turns red!"
"Ah, where am I?" Little Fish crawled up from the ground. Although his posture was not graceful, at least he managed to get up.
Jumping grabbed his collar and said, "You're quick to react; otherwise, I would have knocked you down so hard that even my Ahua wouldn't recognize you."
"Your Ahua doesn't recognize anyone anyway. Just give it some food, and it'll follow you. Last time it followed Big Yellow from Old Cai's house for several days. In the end, they had to chase it away; I've never seen such a stupid dog."
"Shut up! Don't talk about my Ahua like that. You can't compare to it; when it sees a pretty woman, it just knows how to offer tofu. Do you want to make tofu or eat tofu?"
"You're no different. One Dongfang Muze has you all dizzy, running around delivering pig kidneys. Do you know his kidneys are not good?"
"You can get lost! In my heart, you're not even worth a hair of Mr. Dongfang."
"Have you seen Dongfang's hair or mine? I don't know how you're making that comparison."
Jumping was really annoyed. "Little Rascal, you're getting too cheeky." With that, she pushed Little Fish against the stone wall.
The sound echoed sharply in the cave, and by chance, the stone wall slowly opened a door.
Both of them fell silent at the same time and then instinctively held hands as they walked inside.
It seemed to be a tomb, though they had no idea who was buried there. In each corner of the tomb chamber were kneeling bronze figures holding oil lamps filled with shark oil, which surprisingly still flickered faintly as if the person who lit them had just left.
Thinking of this, Little Fish shivered. He looked around and murmured, "I don't know whose resting place this is; I apologize for disturbing you today."
"What are you doing, being all mysterious?"
"Hush." Little Fish placed a finger on his lips to silence her. Jumping followed his gaze and saw the lamp flickering three times, as if nodding in response.
Jumping also felt scared and tightly grasped Little Fish's arm. "Little Fish, do you think there are ghosts?"
"No, this place has good feng shui and is a blessing. Those who rest here must be good people, and we are good people. Good people cannot harm good people, so don't worry."
"Who says I'm a good person? I'm a bad person, a bad person." An old, hollow voice echoed from above. Jumping was so frightened that she cried out and buried herself in Little Fish's embrace. Little Fish instinctively wrapped her strong arms around her, only then realizing that she was a woman.
"Who are you to hide and scare the younger generation? Aren't you ashamed?"
"You young and strong ones, what can an old bone like me do to scare you?"
"Is it a person?" Jumping crawled out from Little Fish's arms and pushed Little Fish away, particularly ungrateful.
Little Fish winced in pain from her wound as the old voice continued, "Hehe, young ones, talking about love in my home, do you think it's safer here than under the open sky?"
"You shameless old man! We accidentally fell down here and didn't mean to disturb you. Why don't you just tell us where the exit is so we can leave immediately?"
"Why the hurry? You came here to have some fun, right? Girl, don't you think so? With such a heavy killing intent on you, you must be practicing Red and White Kung Fu."
"That's right, I'm into pig slaughtering—quick in and quick out with the knife."
"Speaking of which, we're somewhat alike. I work with iron; I've forged quite a few butcher knives. Do you want one?"
"Old man, I already have a butcher knife, but unfortunately, I dropped it on the mountain. However, I still have another one at home that I'm used to."
The old man laughed heartily: "Just take a look at my knife." As soon as he finished speaking, there was a sound like a dragon's roar, followed by a flash of cold light aimed directly at Jumping's face.
Little Fish shouted, "Be careful!"
Jumping did not scream; instead, she leaned back gracefully, her body forming a perfect arc as her long braids nearly touched the ground. The knife grazed her face before she caught it in her hand and playfully executed several blade dances.
"Good!" Little Fish clapped in approval. For the first time in his life, he felt that even if Jumping wasn't feminine, she was still captivating. Strong and beautiful, lively and flamboyant—like a little leopard bursting with energy that shocked him with its absolute strength.
Jumping smiled slyly and rushed towards Little Fish with a knife. Little Fish, still in shock with his mouth agape, was about to slap but found the knife tip dangerously close to his nostrils, feeling a chill in his nose as his blood ran cold. "You big-chested fool, give me back my nose."
"You idiot." A warm but rough hand pried his hand away. Jumping raised the knife in front of him, the coldness making him step back two paces. Jumping laughed heartily, "I've trimmed your nose hair! This knife is perfect for everything—killing pigs, butchering sheep, trimming nails, shaving nose hair, chopping vegetables—it's an essential tool for home and outings."
Little Fish was both scared and disgusted. "Jumping, can you be any more disgusting?"
The old voice laughed heartily again, "Not just that! If you're tired of killing pigs, you can kill people; if you're tired of killing people, you can slay monsters. This knife is just average for pigs, but it's quite effective against monsters. I can't remember its name after so many years, but it once defeated four great swordsmen. Ha ha."
The knife was indeed good, but Jumping thought the old man was bragging. Although sharp, the knife's ordinary shape resembled a Butcher Knife, lacking the grandeur of a legendary weapon—it was only suitable for slaughtering pigs.
"Call it whatever you want; in my hands, it's all just a Butcher Knife."
The old man laughed heartily, "This girl is quite interesting! But at least give my item a good name; otherwise, I won't rest in peace!"
Little Fish thought for a moment and said, "How about calling it Years of Killing?"
"Years of Killing, Years of Killing? Whether you're a hero or a beauty, nothing can withstand the passage of time. Good, good—a fine name: Years of Killing."
Jumping disliked their chatter: "What’s all this? Whether it's time or something else, it's just a knife! Why make it sound so fancy?"
"Girl, do you want to learn knife techniques?"
"I've heard of sword techniques but never knife techniques. I want to learn from Mr. Dongfang, not you."
The old man felt heartbroken by her rejection. Upon hearing Dongfang, Little Fish sneered and said, "But your Mr. Dongfang has to teach you too! Every time it comes to this point, he makes excuses—clearly unwilling to teach you! Piggy Jump, you're really dense; can't you tell he doesn't want to teach you?"
"Little Rascal, you're just petty! What do you know about great teachings? You're just jealous that Mr. Dongfang is more capable than you."
"Jealous of him? As if! Elder, please teach me that knife technique; I want to compare with him and see who's better."
The old man laughed again, "You probably won't be able to master this, but it's fine. It requires both of you to work together to practice. Here, catch this."
Little Fish felt a flash of light in his arms as a piece of yellowed white silk fell into his embrace. He quickly unfolded it and saw that it was densely covered with the mnemonic written by Mama. He carefully tucked it away and bowed respectfully three times in the direction of the old man, saying, "Thank you, elder. But how do we practice this?"
"How to practice? I live like a carefree cloud and wild crane in the mountains without any sect or school. I can only pass on a bit of trivial skill to you. In the future, you will need to work together and ponder over it. My wish is fulfilled; it's time for me to depart."
"Depart? Elder, Master?"
Suddenly, white mist began to swirl upward, revealing an old man in black robes with straw sandals and white hair like an immortal. He turned back with a kind smile, "In the future, you two will need to face great winds and waves together. Cherish each other!"
The old man's voice echoed in their ears as he grew farther away. Little Fish took a quick step forward and pushed aside a thin stone wall, revealing a skeleton sitting upright. Little Fish was moved and hurriedly bowed his head in respect, saying, "Master, although your disciple does not know your name, you are still my master. I bid you farewell here and wish for you to ascend to the ranks of immortals soon."
"Little Fish, what foolishness are you committing again?"
"Jumping, the one who just spoke with us was the spirit of this skeleton; it seems he has been gone for many years."
Jumping's eyes widened as she pushed forward, "Really? I saw a ghost!"
"Do not be rude; the elder passing on the Treasure Blade is your senior."
Jumping felt that Little Fish had become too bold and needed to be taught a lesson. However, looking at his serious expression, her legs turned weak, and she obediently knelt down to bow. Just as she got up, inspiration struck her: "Little Fish, the old man said this blade can slay monsters. Why don't we go back and kill that Mountain Spirit Monster?"
Little Fish was at a loss whether to laugh or cry: "Auntie, can you just calm down for a moment? We barely escaped; do you want to go back and die?"
"But if we go back like this, isn't that too humiliating? You can let it go since you've been humiliated for eighteen years already, but I'm different! That day Zhang Ermao was watching; if he hears from his stuttering mouth that I was in Peacock Valley, how am I supposed to survive?"
"Jumping, this is not the time to show off. There are always people stronger than you out there, not to mention monsters. Right now we should focus on finding a way out; if we can't escape, nothing else matters." In fact, aside from when Jumping hit him, Little Fish was quite wise; it was just that Jumping couldn't see it.
"Get out of the way; all you do is cause trouble." Jumping pushed Little Fish aside, causing him to crash against the stone wall. Then, a miracle happened again.
The stone wall opened wide, revealing bright light and a set of stairs appearing before them. Jumping shook her braids and dashed up the steps, while Little Fish panted behind her, "Wait for me."
Once they reached the top, they were stunned to find themselves back at the Mountain God Temple.
So, it turns out that monkey droppings must be from monkeys; they stepped in it within moments!
They hid behind a rock, watching the eerie courtyard bustling with various monsters. Jumping grabbed a knife, ready to charge out, but Little Fish held her back tightly, "What are you doing?"
"What do you think? One kill breaks even, two guarantees profit. I need to vent my frustration."
"Jumping, can you not be so impulsive? Those are monsters, not fat pigs waiting for slaughter."
"Little Fish, you idiot! If Mr. Dongfang were here..."
"Enough! If he were here, would he let you go out to die? Zhu Tiao Tiao, grow up a bit. Have you thought about what your parents and brother would feel if you disappeared? If you die, what will happen to them? Please use your brain when you go out; can you stop thinking only about fighting and showing off?"
"Anfei Fish, are you angry? But it's too late; someone has already noticed us." After saying this, Jumping grabbed a Little Demon who was peeking around and struck him down with a swift blow to the spine.
"Jumping, hold on! I need to ask him some questions."
Jumping held the knife against the Little Demon's neck. The Little Demon seemed terrified of the blade and trembled all over. Little Fish asked, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Jumping snorted in response: What can you ask like this?
However, the Little Demon was likely scared of the knife and nodded vigorously.
"Then let me ask you why it’s so lively here."
"The King is getting married."
"Married? To whom?"
"To the priestess of Peacock Valley Shrine."
"A priestess? What's going on?"
"Our King captured two people from Peacock Valley and forced their priestess to marry him, but somehow she was taken away."
Jumping became anxious upon hearing this, stepping hard on Little Demon's back: "What did you say? Where is she, where is the priestess?"
"She's in the back courtyard room," Little Demon replied just before Jumping swiftly turned his blade and slashed his throat. Little Fish, watching the bloody scene, felt nauseous and stomped his foot: "Can you not act so quickly? Even though he's a demon, he's still a life."
"If you don't kill him, he'll kill you. Stop whining; we can't leave now. As Shamans and High Priestesses, we must save her since it's for our sake that she fell into that monster's hands."
Little Fish grabbed Jumping: "Don't be reckless; we need to think this through."
"Think? If we don't hurry, the baby will be born already."
Little Fish wiped his sweat; it was particularly urgent when a hasty person met a slow one like Divine Horse.
"Jumping, with so many people today, why don't we disguise ourselves to blend in? That way, we'll have a better chance."
Jumping thought for a moment, then jabbed the hilt of his knife against Little Fish's wound: "Sure, Little Fish, I didn't realize your head wasn't just filled with nonsense but something else too."
Little Fish held back his anger and forced himself to stay calm; there was no need to argue with someone who was all brawn and no brains at a time like this.
They cleverly sneaked into the kitchen to steal some ash to smear on their faces and hands. Considering that Jumping's rabbit emblem on her chest was too eye-catching and could easily reveal her identity, they quickly tore off a piece of black cloth to wrap around her: "Is this okay?" Although there was no mirror, Jumping felt that her current look was definitely more monstrous than any demon.
They swaggered in among the passing monsters, chatting and laughing with them.
Just as Little Fish and Jumping were brainstorming ways to rescue Tang Zisu, Kong Xuan and Lang Ye arrived at the Mountain God Temple.
Along the way, Po Jun intermittently informed him about the situation in the Demon Realm. Originally, the demonic powers of the demons had been scattered, making them no different from ordinary beasts and birds. However, for some unknown reason, certain demons with deeper cultivation had suddenly regained their powers. Some were rampaging everywhere, while others remained at Peacock Mountain. It was estimated that soon, chaos would reign in the human realm again.
Kong Xuan was not surprised; he sneered, "The Celestial Realm will be busy now. After being peaceful for three hundred years, I bet the Celestial Soldiers have turned into useless pigs."
Po Jun kicked a rock aside and said, "Ming Wang, you need to regain your powers quickly. If the three of us work together, we might really be able to pull the Jade Emperor down from the Nine Dragon Throne this time."
Kong Xuan glanced at Po Jun and suddenly addressed Softy, who was being carried by Lang Ye, "Yuan Maiden, is the Mountain God Temple just ahead?"
"Of course it is, but you can't get in; there's a barrier."
Lang Ye asked, "Can’t you get in either?"
All along the way, Yuan Maiden had wanted to talk to Lang Ye. However, since she shared a body with Softy, she hadn’t spoken at all. Now that Lang Ye had spoken, Yuan Maiden hurriedly leaned her mouth close to Lang Ye's neck and lightly breathed, "Tan Lang, if you want me to go in, I’ll risk my soul to do so."
Although he knew this was Vengeful Spirit Yuan Maiden, she acted like a girl he liked. Lang Ye felt a tingling sensation below his neck and irritably turned his head to shout, "Behave yourself; don’t play tricks."
Yuan Maiden's chin was already resting on Lang Ye's neck when he turned back and accidentally bumped into her lips. He unexpectedly found himself kissing Softy's soft and fragrant lips. He froze in place and even forgot how to react.
Softy immediately became furious; half of her ear felt like it was on fire. She quickly stepped back and slapped Lang Ye hard on the backside—freshly hot from the stove.
Female Intestine also got involved; her hand touched Lang Ye's face. "Tan Lang, does it hurt? I'll deal with that bad woman; she's such a little shrew!"
Softy was naturally unwilling to back down and retorted angrily, "Get lost! If you keep being shameless like this, I’ll nail you down!"
Lang Ye was furious; these women were so annoying. He slapped Softy on the backside and shouted, "You all shut up! Can’t you tell what time it is? Mi Ruanruan, when did you become so noisy?"
When Lang Ye was angry, he was quite terrifying, but Softy was not intimidated; she thought Lang Ye's fierce expression resembled Ahei's snarl. Moreover, what did that statement "How come I don't remember you being this rowdy before" mean? Hadn't they just met not long ago?
"Yuan Maiden, lead the way. If Mountain Deity is indeed him, you should be able to guide us in. I believe he has prepared food and drinks for our arrival," Kong Xuan said, feeling a bit flustered. He pinched his palm hard within his sleeve; the pain brought him back to reality.
Of course, Yuan Maiden couldn't understand what he was saying. It was not easy for Vengeful Spirit to be so lively, cute, and silly, yet these despicable people didn't appreciate her. It was truly unforgivable!
The closer they got, the thicker the black mist felt. Breaking Army sneered, "This barrier is pathetic; it's clearly the work of that guy."
Lang Ye interjected, "I can already smell the stench of Decayed Corpse meat on him. Today, I'm going to drag him out and roast him. Who does he think he is to deceive me? Is there really no one to take care of him?"
Kong Xuan warned, "Be careful; this barrier has some tricks."
As an ancestor of the seductive nine-tailed fox, the fox spirit had been dignified and quiet along the way. It seemed Breaking Army had trained her well; she had practically reformed. At this moment, she flicked her tail and swayed her hips gracefully. Although she restrained herself somewhat under Breaking Army's disdainful gaze, she still managed to entice men deeply. She took out a few small pills from her sleeve and distributed them: "Poison-Repelling Pills; everyone take one."
Kong Xuan waved his hand dismissively. What poison could be worse than peacock blood? Lang Ye also refused; he handed the pill to Softy instead: "Hold onto this."
"And you?"
"I don't need it."
Softy held the pill tightly between her teeth and bit her lower lip, her eyes turning watery.
After taking the pills, everyone held their breath and waited for Yuan Maiden to chant the incantation to part the barrier. Lang Ye stayed close by her side, just as Ahei protected Softy—never leaving her side.
As Kong Xuan had expected, Yuan Maiden effortlessly opened the barrier. Kong Xuan closed his eyes for a moment; he and Tang Zisu were one step closer.
Tang Zisu was getting ready in a dark room. Although ancient makeup tools couldn't compare to modern makeup kits, it was undoubtedly a challenging skill. After finally finishing her makeup, she posed in front of a bronze mirror, laughing at what she saw reflected back!
She could hardly bear it; she wet a cloth and wiped it off before fiddling with her wedding dress.
Tang Zisu looked at herself in the mirror, dressed in a red wedding gown with a cross-collared top and a fitted skirt. The neckline and cuffs were adorned with meticulously embroidered phoenix and peony patterns, and she wondered where that black man had obtained such attire. If she was going to do it, she would do it completely; a true man should be flexible. Gritting her teeth, Tang Zisu decided to wear it!
The person in the mirror, clad in red, highlighted her fair skin, rosy cheeks, bright eyes, and white teeth. Tang Zisu couldn't help but stare. She reached up to touch her face, taking a serious look at her own features for the first time since her journey through time.
If she could survive this ordeal today, perhaps she would have to rely on this face for many long years ahead. It was basically a relationship of revolutionary comradeship, so she should cherish it.
Tang Zisu sat down in a chair, absentmindedly peeling the paint off the armrest. Kong Xuan, what are you doing? Have you thought of me? You said I wasn't allowed to marry anyone; does that include marrying a monster? Sigh! Television always shows the male lead rushing in at the last moment to shout "I oppose this," so I'll give you one last chance—I'll wait until the very end!
A tear fell onto the armrest of the chair, instantly soaking the newly peeled wound. Tang Zisu didn't know if the chair felt pain, but she certainly did. For the first time in her life, she realized how painful it was to wait for someone and love someone.
In this situation, Tang Zisu finally dared to admit her feelings.
Some say love is like seeing a ghost; if you haven't seen or encountered it, you won't believe it. Now she not only encountered a ghost but also fell in love with a monster. Is there no limit to absurdity?
Tang Zisu kicked the chair absentmindedly. Admitting that she liked him relieved her greatly; what did gender matter? It was just a shell living in this world. Instead of overthinking, it was better to consider how to deal with that black man!
The door creaked open, and two coal miners entered.
Tang Zisu lifted her eyelids slightly: "Has your master decided how to deal with me? Why not just boil me? Cooked well with some garlic sauce would taste great; too much fried food can lead to high blood pressure."
The shorter one chuckled: "High Priestess, you're quite comfortable! If you're preparing to be boiled, shouldn't we strip you of that outfit first? Wearing that makes me think you're about to marry that monster."
"Jumping, is that you? And is that Little Fish? No, no! Weren't you captured and locked up? Originally, Kong Xuan agreed to marry that monster to save you; instead, the monster cunningly captured me! Are you both alright?" Tang Zisu stood up and grabbed Jumping's hand vigorously.
"Let go! I've never seen anyone so enthusiastic towards me before. That Little Monster can't keep me locked up; once I played enough with him, I came out! And now I'm here saving you! Honestly, you should practice more instead of eating and sleeping all day. Getting caught and expecting us to rescue you—how useless!"
Little Fish felt overwhelmed; this wasn't how one should flatter themselves. Indeed, Jumping's face was as big as her own!
Tang Zisu had confused Jumping with her words. In her flustered state, she didn't care about details anymore and nervously asked: "What about Kong Xuan? Has he arrived yet? That black man has dug a pit waiting for him; we can't let him fall for it."
Jumping kept waving the knife in hand, constantly flashing it in front of Tang Zisu, clearly indicating, "I've changed my knife, I've changed my knife, did you see it?"
Tang Zisu anxiously pushed the knife aside and said, "Jumping, stop messing with your knife. We need to find a way out."
"Look at my knife, it's new, Years of Killing, specifically for killing monsters. Isn't it great?"
Little Fish watched with eyes blazing, thinking, Piggy Jump, have you lost your mind? Never say you know me again; it's so embarrassing!
For Anfei Fish, a scholar known for his eloquence, to curse is quite an achievement. Zhu Tiao Tiao, you've set a new record!
Tang Zisu felt her heart racing like it was deep-fried in oil, ready to explode. She rubbed her hands and crawled to the window, licking her tongue to break the window paper: "Oh no, this is bad! The black man is coming! You all better run!"
Upon hearing this, Jumping became excited and blushed: "I'll take him down right now!"
Little Fish, with an unexpected burst of strength, tightly hugged Jumping, quickly stuffing her under the bed: "Are you trying to get yourself killed? You have no idea how dangerous this is."
Jumping struggled fiercely, but Little Fish had an incredible grip, arms wrapped tightly around her chest. No matter how fierce Jumping was, her body softened significantly.
With a flushed face, she glared at Little Fish: "I swear I'll take you down."
As footsteps approached, the black man entered the room with a strong stench.
Seeing Tang Zisu in red clothing surprised him; he rested his hand on what seemed like his chin and said, "Not bad, looks pretty good."
Good-looking my foot! Even if I'm stunning, I'm not here for your enjoyment. Do you believe I could poke your eyes out in seconds?
"Don't glare at me either. Your Peacock King has arrived. We'll go greet him right away. Then I’ll pluck all his feathers and turn him into a white strip of chicken for our guests as a dish called Clear Stewed Mountain Chicken."
"You dare."
"I'm not afraid. Once I'm done with the cooking, it's your turn." The Black man leaned in and pressed Tang Zisu down onto the chair, gripping her chin with one hand, forcing her to look up at him. His mouth, reeking of decay, was close to her face as he took a deep sniff. "So fragrant! Truly a great vessel for the blood of a Buddha. I will drink every drop of your blood, and then my power will increase a thousandfold. Let's see who in the Three Realms can compete with me!"
Tang Zisu twisted her face, desperately trying to avoid him. "You won't succeed. Bad people never have a good ending."
"Now come with me to witness this great moment!" The Black man suddenly yanked Tang Zisu's hair, pulling her up from the chair. He covered her head with a red cloth and tucked her under his arm as they headed to the front hall.
Once they were far away, Little Fish finally let go. Just as he crawled out from under the table, Jumping kicked him hard in the ribs. "It's all your fault! If it weren't for you, I would have killed that monster long ago."
Little Fish's lips turned pale and sweat beaded on his forehead. He held his injured side in pain and said, "Don't be impulsive. I can't understand anything he said—something about Peacock Mountain? There's definitely something deeper here."
"You're just scared. Stay put if you're afraid; I'm going to save her."
"Jumping." Little Fish lunged forward but missed; Jumping had already dashed off, leaving him to stumble after.
With a T-Rex-like troublemaker by his side, he had to build a strong body and heart!
Tang Zisu felt like she was at a live version of Stephen Chow's wedding scene from "A Chinese Odyssey." In broad daylight, it was pitch black with demons dancing wildly. She was grateful to Kong Xuan for giving her some understanding of this new world; otherwise, she would have been terrified to death.
Charcoal pulled her toward the high platform as a eunuch announced the start of the wedding ceremony. Tang Zisu's body was restrained by the monster, forced to comply with his movements. Her big eyes nearly bled from beneath the veil. "Kong Xuan, you can't come!"
What was meant to happen would always happen; there was no need to wait until the last moment. Kong Xuan, dressed in red, stepped into this so-called wedding hall, followed by chaos behind him.
The Black man held Tang Zisu tightly and lifted her veil, looking down at Kong Xuan. "I didn't expect my wedding would attract Peacock King, Mighty Tiger King, and Black Wolf King to congratulate me—what a stroke of luck!"
The Peacock didn't even glance at him but focused solely on Tang Zisu. Confirming that she wasn't hurt, Kong Xuan turned and said, "Where did you get your luck? By this time next year, you'll probably be wailing by the Bridge of Helplessness in the Underworld, Cold Crow."
"Yes, it's me—Cold Crow! You didn't expect that the little crow you mistreated back then has now stolen your woman, did you? By the way, her taste is quite average!" Cold Crow laughed wildly, rubbing his lips against Tang Zisu's face and neck.
The rotten stench rushed into Tang Zisu's nose along with that gaping mouth resembling a cosmic black hole. Unable to hold back any longer, she retched and vomited all over him.
"Well done!" Lang Ye whistled and casually pierced a Little Demon.
Kong Xuan was initially angry, the veins on his hands bulging. Tang Zisu's colorful vomit on Cold Crow instantly made him more vibrant, giving him a three-dimensional appearance. It was unlikely he would ever be dressed like this again in his life. Kong Xuan's lips curled up; this Silly Goose, Tang Zisu, was truly unique, even her vomiting was on another level!
"Kong Xuan, enough! Why does everyone have such big faces today?"
"You, you! Someone come and wipe my face!" Cold Crow was humiliated in front of many demon guests.
The Little Demons rushed over in a flurry to clean him up, finally managing to get rid of the black mess. Cold Crow, furious and embarrassed, grabbed Tang Zisu by the hair: "Vile woman, dare to vomit on me?"
"I wouldn't dare! But who told you to get so close? You don't even realize how bad you smell. As someone in charge, you should at least pay attention to personal hygiene."
Kong Xuan, worried about Tang Zisu, quickly said, "Let her go."
"Kong Xuan, you're just a mortal now and still so arrogant. The oil pot is ready; you don't need to go to the Underworld for this. Are you willing to roll in it for this woman?"
Tang Zisu turned her face away from Kong Xuan but smiled lightly: "Dream on! Who is he that he would roll in oil for me? Have you lost your mind?"
Cold Crow seemed quite confident as he spoke in a voice like sawing wood: "Not for you, but for that face of yours that resembles Light Eye's, he definitely would."
"What do you mean? What similar face? Wait, explain yourself!"
Kong Xuan hurriedly interjected: "Cold Crow, stop rambling. Where's your oil pot?"
No one paid attention to Tang Zisu anymore. Following Cold Crow's finger, Kong Xuan indeed saw a large pot filled with hot oil. The Little Demons were continuously adding firewood underneath, and thick green smoke was rising from the pot.
Kong Xuan maintained a calm expression as he stepped closer to the oil pot, his red clothing rippling in the smoke like waves. Layers of ripples spread within Tang Zisu's heart. She no longer cared about any similar faces; she shouted loudly: "Kong Xuan! Are you out of your mind? He's not your father; you don't have to do whatever he says! Come back!"
Kong Xuan turned back, a lazy and charming smile playing at the corners of his mouth as if returning to that afternoon on the tree. He formed the word "relax" with his lips and resolutely stood before the oil pot.
Everyone in the arena stopped fighting, and both Pojun and Lang Ye shouted, "Kong Xuan!"
Kong Xuan raised his hand, paused in mid-air, and covered his nose. "The oil you used is made from cotton seeds; it has a strong smell. Next time, I suggest you use rapeseed oil."
A wave of laughter erupted, with many people spitting out blood. It seemed that spending too much time with foodies had turned him into one!
Tang Zisu tugged at Cold Crow's hair, causing him pain, but it didn't stop her from laughing uncontrollably. "Kong Xuan, you are getting funnier and funnier! Thumbs up!"
Cold Crow was momentarily stunned by what he said, then slammed the table. "Damn it, Kong Xuan! Are you messing with me? What does oil have to do with frying? Get down!"
Kong Xuan shook his head helplessly, his long silky hair dancing in the wind. Tang Zisu couldn't help but reach out but couldn't grasp the gentle sway of his hair. She watched as Kong Xuan leaped onto the stone platform above the boiling pot of oil and stepped toward it.
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