I can't say that my relationship with my family has reconciled, but Old Xia occasionally calls me to come back, and we never mention that incident, as if it had never happened.
Sometimes, when I have a moment to spare, I wonder how Gu Yicheng is doing over there. Is he meeting new girls? Will he come back?
That feeling is suppressed by my absolute rationality, but it still surfaces unexpectedly in the quiet of the night.
I saw Gu Yicheng again two years later during my annual physical examination.
"Open your mouth."
Under the bright lights, I stood in line behind him, watching Gu Yicheng sitting there. The light illuminated him, and it felt like he was the only one in my world.
The white coat made him look more mature than a few years ago, and the glasses perched on his high nose added an air of restraint.
Our eyes met for a moment, but he quickly looked away, his expression unchanged, as if he didn't recognize me.
"How's your appetite lately? Any discomfort?"
He lowered his head to type on the computer. The light from the screen reflected off his glasses, casting a white veil over them, giving him an entirely businesslike demeanor.
I stared at him intensely. Seeing his cold and distant appearance made me disdain his pretentiousness. I smiled playfully and said, "Doctor, it hurts here."
I placed my hand over my heart, my gaze intentionally playful.
Gu Yicheng frowned slightly and didn't say much.
About an hour later at the hospital, I finally waited for Gu Yicheng to finish work. He held an umbrella and walked straight toward the hospital entrance.
I called out to him.
I didn't know what was wrong with me, but seeing Gu Yicheng completely ignore me made me feel upset.
"Is there something you need?"
He turned around and looked me over with his eyes. Gu Yicheng still maintained that aloof demeanor. I stared at him for a few seconds before breaking into a smile.
"Take me back."
Gu Yicheng rested one hand on the railing, his expression unpleasant. I knew he found me disgusting, and I felt the same way, repulsed by the fact that in the dead of night, I would always think of a face crying uncontrollably.
I asked Gu Yicheng, "Did Old Xia not tell you I was back? You really are keeping your distance from me."
Gu Yicheng didn't respond, and the tension in his lips showed he found me annoying. It was strange; it inexplicably made my heart race as he parked the car at the entrance of my neighborhood.
I held my phone up to him, leaning slightly closer until I could feel his crisp breath. "Give me your new phone number."
He casually leaned back in the driver's seat, resting his hand on the steering wheel as he pondered something. A mocking expression soon appeared on his face, and his eyes sparkled.
"What? Do you want to rekindle our old flame?"
Actually, the old Gu Yicheng was never like this. He would never have said such flippant things to me or looked at me with such eyes.
"What if I said yes?"
The rain outside continued to fall, pattering against the car window. Gu Yicheng lowered his head and raised an eyebrow. "Xia Jiayi, I remember everything."
Oh, really?
The car lock clicked open, and Gu Yicheng gestured for me to get out.
As he said this, he slightly raised his chin and glanced at me with disdain. I knew he must think I was just pulling the same old tricks again.
I glared fiercely at Gu Yicheng, then reached out to grab his tie. Taking advantage of his unpreparedness, I bit him hard before letting go.
I ran toward the curtain of rain, hardly daring to look back at him. I was afraid of that loathing and contemptuous gaze.
A few days later, I found myself queuing up again to register for an appointment in his clinic.
"Miss Xia, please do not waste medical resources."
Gu Yicheng sounded somewhat impatient, his handsome brows furrowed, clearly not pleased to see me.
"Doctor, I did make an appointment after all. How is that wasting resources? Or are you refusing to see me just because I'm your ex-girlfriend?"
Perhaps he had never encountered someone as persistent as me; Gu Yicheng seemed a bit intrigued. He pinched the bridge of his nose and said with a teasing tone, "So may I ask what seems to be the problem?"
I cleared my throat, trying to sound somewhat dramatic: "I've been having headaches these past couple of days, struggling with insomnia, and can't stop thinking about things..."
"Xia Jiayi!"
Gu Yicheng called out to me.
Honestly, he wouldn't even let me finish my act.
I don't know what touched Gu Yicheng's nerve, but he looked very angry. When he wasn't speaking, he was even more intimidating.
"I took some sleep aid, go to the pharmacy."
A light piece of paper floated in front of me, and I clenched it in my palm. I never imagined that one day I would be treated like this by Gu Yicheng.
Perhaps he was waiting for something, but I couldn't bring myself to say those three words. Maybe subconsciously, I felt I was not at fault.
"Gu Yicheng, you know what kind of person I am, right?"
I threw out this sentence and stood up to leave. Just as I stepped out the door, I heard Gu Yicheng's phone ring. When he answered the call, a hint of tenderness slipped through.
I cautiously listened to his conversation from outside the door.
Suddenly, I remembered a night when I had a high fever. He carried me to the hospital next door and patiently took care of me, using the same gentle tone to comfort me.
I didn't know who he was on the phone with. Silently, I tossed the prescription into the nearby trash can.
I fervently pursued Gu Yicheng, running to the hospital every time after work and blocking him on his way home. At first, he seemed stunned for a long time, but then he ignored my actions.
I also made sure to check his department at work and easily got hold of his duty schedule.
"Xia Jiayi, I don't understand you."
Gu Yicheng's face was gloomy; after maturing, he no longer had that youthful exuberance. The familiar hatred swirled in his eyes, and when he said this, it stirred up turmoil in my heart like a stone thrown into water.
"What if I said I really like you?"
It was clear that he was taken aback for a moment, but soon his expression was filled with sarcasm. He smiled at me, the corners of his eyes slightly raised, and said, "I have no value to you anymore."
I knew he was still brooding over what had happened before.
His attitude towards me had plummeted; he no longer bothered to put on a facade. I had witnessed him throw the soup I made into the hospital trash can, instructing the nurse not to share any news about him with me, and even acting intimately with others right in front of me.
Indeed, fortunes change.
I finally experienced what Gu Yicheng must have felt all those years ago. Jiang Jiang scolded me for hanging on a tree and asked why I looked back. Gu Yicheng was clearly just getting back at me, playing with me.
But what could I do when I was willing?
I knew that Gu Yicheng had a major surgery scheduled today, so I arrived early to wait for him. I parked my car at the entrance and rolled down the window. His face showed undeniable fatigue as I said to him, "Get in; I'll give you a ride home."
He initially hesitated to get in, but I knew his car was recently sent for inspection, and he wouldn't be able to get a taxi at this late hour.
I kept talking about what had happened to me recently. How strange; when did I become so chatty?
Gu Yicheng showed little reaction. When we reached his dormitory building, my hand gently rested on the back of his hand as I suggestively asked, "Do you want to invite me up for a cup of tea?"
Gu Yicheng looked up at me. For some reason, I sensed a chill in his emotions, which deepened under the dim light.
His voice broke the silence: "Xia Jiayi, the last rain I saw you in extinguished all my passion for you."
It felt like a lifetime ago; the scene replayed vividly in my mind. I bit my lip secretly, feeling my eyes welling up. It had been a long time since I dared to think back on the past.
I turned my face away and said to him softly, "I'm sorry."
"An apology? That's simply not enough."
He spoke each word slowly, his throat constricted as if gripped by a pair of hands. I didn't know what to say.
I came to my senses and looked back at him, observing his calm demeanor devoid of any emotion. For the first time, I felt that there was truly no future for me and Gu Yicheng: "I understand."
So, it was tit for tat.
Summer is always rainy. I sent a message to Gu Yicheng, but he never replied.
The cold rain quickly soaked me as I stood dazed under their dormitory building, watching the light in his room fade from bright to dim. I could never catch a glimpse of him.
The cold made my teeth chatter, and in that moment, I finally understood why Gu Yicheng had given up on me.
If today could erase that sin, I would gladly accept it.
Because in a drunken stupor, I faced the person I had imagined, pouring out all my feelings and apologies. He kept blaming me while I cried, wanting to go over and hug the sobbing Gu Yicheng. But when I fell apart, it was all just stiffness.
The dream faded, leaving nothing behind.
"If a girl stands in the rain too long, it's not good for her health!"
Suddenly, a lazy yet casual voice rang out above me, and an umbrella blocked the rain. My gaze landed on a handsome stranger's face, clad in a white coat.
He must be a resident of this community.
His curious eyes roamed over me as I told him to go away, but the man didn’t leave. His gaze lingered on me, mixed with curiosity and sympathy.
"Although I don't know why you're doing this, it's important for girls to love themselves. Who needs a man?"
He stood there holding the umbrella for me. Whenever I took a step back, he followed suit. I had never met such a forward man before.
I stared at the window that had its lights turned off and suddenly laughed.
The consequence of getting caught in the rain is catching a fever.
I hurried to the hospital for emergency treatment, only to run into that man, whose name tag read: Song Yuchen.
His enchanting peach blossom eyes sparkled with pride: "See? I told you you'd get sick, but you didn't believe me."
I shot him a glance and said nothing.
After spending the night on an IV drip at the hospital, I would need several days of saline. Song Yuchen would occasionally come by and even brought me some congee.
When I was leaving, he prescribed some medication and advised me to keep my diet light for the next few days, avoiding alcohol and smoking.
"Let's keep in touch on WeChat these days. If you feel unwell, send me a message."
"Jia Yi, do you think this doctor might be interested in you?"
"Stop it, that's too noisy! It's bad for my health!"
The person in my phone hadn't sent any messages. I typed into his chat box: Gu Yicheng, I've caught a bad cold from getting soaked in the rain last time.
When I finished work, there were still no new messages in the chat box.
Perhaps it was empathy; after a long time, I could no longer remember what that heart-wrenching hatred felt like.
On the contrary, messages from Song Yuchen would occasionally come through, mostly about health tips related to diet and exercise. To be honest, I really started to misunderstand that this man might have feelings for me.
"Romance and love, how shameless."
I said to Song Yuchen.
"Xia Jiayi, I just simply want to be friends with you."
Song Yuchen is quite an interesting person. Even though we weren't very familiar, he always managed to find topics to talk about with me.
He didn't show any signs of awkwardness and was very warm. When his gaze landed on me, it felt comfortable; I liked being friends with someone like him.
Until one day, as I passed by the hospital entrance, I went straight to find Song Yuchen.
"I have two tickets to a concert. Want to go together?"
In the end, he handed me a ticket. I casually looked down and saw it was for my favorite singer—one I hadn't been able to get tickets for.
I put away the ticket and cheerfully said goodbye to Song Yuchen, unaware that as I turned to leave, I bumped into Gu Yicheng, who was just walking in. It had been several days since I last saw him.
Upon seeing me, Gu Yicheng paused for a few seconds, his gaze flickering between me and Song Yuchen before returning to its original state. He probably came to hand some documents to Song Yuchen.
I stared at him and smiled.
However, he showed no intention of greeting me; his noble face remained as cold as ever.
I noticed my sister didn't greet me.
Seeing him talking to Song Yuchen with his back to me, I lightly tugged at the corner of my mouth and said, "Dr. Song, see you this weekend."
I did it on purpose.
On that weekend, I canceled all my plans. Song Yuchen took me to explore some trendy new spots and treated me to a lot of delicious food.
I slumped down in the booth, not wanting to move.
"I can't eat anymore."
He wiped his mouth, and in his casual outfit, he looked a bit more attractive.
He smiled slightly at me and asked, "Xia Jiayi, do you know Gu Yicheng?"
He stared at me, his gaze filled with a probing light. I became serious and looked at him with a hint of intention, "Is there something you need?"
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