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墨書 Inktalez
Life is just like this.
I looked up in silence, feeling that the clouds, which were as fluffy as cotton candy, were getting closer to me, almost within reach. (The clouds above are virtual, each layer has its own.)
The efficiency of the Fox Demon Clan is truly impressive; in no time at all, they had set up such a grand scene. But wait, are you planning to burn me as a sacrifice?
I sat on a high wooden platform. If what was behind me wasn't a chair but a cross, I would have involuntarily shouted "Amen."
Isn't this the equipment used to burn Galileo back then???
The location for the apprenticeship ceremony was set in the Seven-Layer Hall, meaning that only transformed Fox Spirits could participate. Even so, there were still quite a few people gathered below.
The Fox Fairy Grandmother sat on her throne with her eyes closed in meditation. Kneeling beside her was Shaoming, and standing next to her were two rows of slender and plump fox fairy sisters of various ages. Some looked like middle school students, while others were charming young women, with many being vibrant young girls like Shaoming. However, their outfits were quite uniform, with white plain skirts wrapped in red threads. Shaoming's mother did not attend; behind her were two child-like Fox Spirits fanning the Fox Fairy Grandmother.
"Damn it, are these fairies not planning to let this monk leave?" I sighed.
The atmosphere below was lively with gongs and drums, firecrackers ringing out, and red flags waving. The crowd was so dense that anyone unfamiliar might think Song Dandan had come to sell "postpartum care."
A gentle breeze blew by, causing the high platform I was sitting on to sway from side to side. When I first saw this platform, it felt incredibly familiar; it seemed like the one Sun Wukong used when competing for rain with that guy named Tiger Strength or Deer Power Master.
The Fox Spirits brought out plenty of food and drink from their homes, making it feel like a festive occasion or a wedding. Some people pointed at me on the high platform with expressions of envy and impatience.
Are you all planning to eat Tang Seng Meat and achieve immortality?
"Bang! Bang! Bang!" Three firecrackers went off simultaneously. The Fox Fairy Grandmother stood up and pressed her hands downwards. The originally noisy crowd—no, the crowd of demons—instantly fell silent.
I don't know who started it first, but one by one, the Fox Spirits knelt down on the ground, all wearing expressions of pride and honor. If I didn't know that they were all demons below, I would have thought I had entered a cult; it looked too much like it.
After a while, the Fox Fairy Grandmother finally spoke up.
"Today is the day for our Fox Demon Clan's Shaoming to pay respects to a master." The old lady got straight to the point with her first sentence.
This statement stirred up a commotion among the Fox Spirits kneeling below.
"Pay respects? To whom?"
"Who is Shaoming? Why such a grand occasion?"
"What’s going on with that person up there? Are we really going to learn the Ancient Ritual?"
"That's true, looking so ugly, what future could they possibly have? Might as well use them for a sacrifice; it's a waste not to."
I can't believe these spirits are ready to feast on Tang Seng Meat! Seriously! Do they have to throw personal attacks before eating? Is there no humanity here???
Oh, right, they are spirits.
"Silence!" shouted a fox fairy named Loli, standing at the front, and immediately the place fell silent.
"Now we invite the witness, the divine beast Pixiu!" Loli announced in a childish voice while holding a script.
Then, a Pixiu, resembling a big wolf with a large tail, swaggered onto the stage. That finger of theirs even changed size to become larger than a horse.
The audience began to murmur again.
"Is that a divine beast?"
"It's so big!"
"Can't divine beasts transform yet?"
"Shh, be quiet. The greater the potential, the harder it is to transform. If you anger this lord, one bite and you'll be swallowed, and we won't be able to help you."
"That's terrifying?"
"It looks like a dog."
"Hahaha!" I sat on the high platform, laughing heartily at Pixiu.
Pixiu's expression started to sour, but after all, it was someone else's territory, so it couldn't act out.
"Ahem." Fox Fairy Grandmother coughed lightly, looking apologetic as she addressed Pixiu: "The child doesn't understand; please forgive him."
Upon hearing this, Pixiu continued to play the part of a big shot: "It's fine, am I really going to hold this against him?"
Fox Fairy Grandmother picked up her cane and lightly touched the ground. A swirl of pink demonic energy spread out from her center.
It seems that all fox spirits have pink demonic energy; Shaoming, Sister Wan, and even Fox Fairy Grandmother are the same.
"Thank you for your grace; grant auspicious signs to our clan." As soon as Fox Fairy Grandmother said this, all the fox spirits sat cross-legged with their hands together on the ground, chanting this prayer in unison with her.
"Shared Blessings of Immortality, longevity and harmony" ended with a very familiar phrase, which reminded me of a character from Jin Yong's works.
After the prayer was finished, Fox Fairy Grandmother announced the ancestors of past generations to everyone, and then finally began the main event, which was the person I was supposed to pay my respects to—me.
"On the high platform is Mr. Yin, the immortal master whom Shang Mei is about to kneel before."
The Fox Spirits below all looked up at me.
I couldn't remain calm any longer and slowly stood up, waving at them like a leader from North Korea.
The platform was too high, and as I stood up, it swayed slightly from side to side, causing my body to tremble a bit. In the eyes of the Fox Spirits below, I seemed to be afraid.
"Damn it." After finally showing my face, I ended up looking so awkward; I truly felt embarrassed to continue living.
"The immortal master comes down!" The Loli responsible for announcing the proceedings declared loudly.
"Three Purities Edict, Daoist Law of Correct Origin." I formed a hand gesture, and three Flying Swords flew out from my Seed Bag, arranged like stairs along the edge of the platform. I focused on my form and used the Wind Walking Technique to lighten my weight, then stepped onto the first Flying Sword. Slowly, I walked down from the high platform like walking down stairs. When I reached the third Flying Sword, the first one immediately flew under my feet to become the fourth step. Repeating this process, I descended from the platform.
In the eyes of those newly transformed fox immortals, this was indeed an immortal's technique; however, only I, pretending to be a dignified Master, knew—showing off is really exhausting.
Amidst the envious gazes of a group of underage Fox Spirits, I stepped down from the high platform on my Flying Sword. Fine, I've accepted my fate; if I'm going to take on disciples, so be it. After all, it's just a slender and tall Sister. As long as she isn't a scruffy man, I’d consider myself lucky, right? Moreover, Shaoming is quite nice; her temper is better than Wang Ni, she's a bit more mature than Lin Miaomiao, gentler than Jin, and better than Qu Huan. Okay, I can't think of anything else; honestly, I'm not that familiar with her!
With my feet firmly on the ground, I finally broke free from the shadow of 'eating Tang Seng Meat', adjusted my Daoist Robe, and walked towards the platform.
On the platform, Shaoming rose from her kneeling position and received me with a cup of tea while bowing respectfully.
I took the tea and took a gentle sip: "Good tea!"
What the hell, I thought to myself, it's just a cola.
"Master's gift for the meeting!" the person in charge of announcing the proceedings, Loli, declared loudly.
Damn it, is there this process too? What should I do if I'm not prepared? Do I have anything to give?
I searched through my Seed Bag but couldn't find anything decent to give away. The Seed Bag only contained clothes and food. There's no choice; I'll just have to use this.
I pulled out a Peach Wood Sword.
Giving a Fox Spirit a Peach Wood Sword is quite something, but fortunately, even though I don't have a proper gift, I have enough face to spare.
"What is this?" Loli asked, clearly inexperienced and unfamiliar with Thunderstruck Peach Blossom Wood. However, she knew that what the 'immortal master' took out must be something special, so she asked without shame.
"Ahem, it's a Peach Wood Sword made from Thunderstruck Peach Blossom Wood," I awkwardly introduced it. Pixiu, don't laugh. If you were still in the form of that jade pendant, I would definitely give you away.
"Oh, oh, a Thunderstruck Peach Blossom Wood sword," Loli said seriously. "In return for the apprenticeship gift!"
The Fox Fairy Grandmother stood up and took out a very exquisite Jade Box. Opening the Jade Box revealed three red pills.
"Love Beans!" a Fox Spirit exclaimed.
Love Beans? What are those? Are they related to Red Bean Affection?
"These are just three Love Beans passed down from ancient times," the Fox Fairy Grandmother explained. "Their effect is to bring back to life those who long for each other. They are also the seeds of the Red Bean Acacia tree, which is incredibly precious to our Fox Demon Clan."
The old lady looked at the three beans with great care and reluctantly handed them to me.
Alright, this is handing over the clan's treasure to me. I understand the old lady's intention; this is not really for me, but rather a way to pass it on to Shaoming through my hands.
"Announce the sect's rules!" Loli shouted.
Does our sect even have such rules? I stood there in confusion once again.
Sigh, whatever, I'll just make up a few lines. I guess my master would handle it this way too.
"First, oh right, no eating meat." With that first line, I had already implicated my master in betraying the sect; he can't live without meat.
After a series of troublesome and tedious procedures, which ended with Shaoming bowing to me three times, I finally endured this ridiculous ceremony. Fox Fairy Grandmother hurriedly pulled Shaoming away from the venue as if her scheme had succeeded, leaving me alone with a group of Fox Spirits staring at each other in bewilderment.
"Immortal Master, our clan has many young ones. May I ask if you could provide some guidance?" Just as I was about to leave, Loli approached me and made a request.
She must think I'm some enlightened Master, but I know my own limited skills; I can fool mortals, but to charm a bunch of spirits?
"Well, this is confidential. The methods I specialize in are all about secrets; please forgive me."
With that, I took off running in a panic.
"Truly worthy of being an Immortal Master; even fleeing looks so graceful," Loli remarked.
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