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墨書 Inktalez
——Let me write another segment about Jinse, who has grown up. Don't think this is an abrupt transition, because the Goddess is merciless. After several revisions, I was afraid it would feel too sudden.
My name is Jinse. The women of the Song Family do not take on surnames; we only have our given names, except for my mother, Song Yun. She is my pride, even though she has always been indifferent towards me since I was little. I have no father, and my mother never mentioned him to me. I believe I must have a father. Since childhood, I have been weak and often bullied by my cousins, which my mother was unaware of. She was helpless regarding my timid nature; in truth, I was afraid of being bullied. Only when I cried out of fear would they let me go, so gradually, whenever I saw them, I would cry, and they dared not bully me anymore.
When I was six years old, I fell seriously ill. The imperial doctors from the palace said I might not recover. Lying in bed, I felt as if I were dying; breathing became difficult. At that moment, a man in black entered the room. He must be my father; he looked at me with the same pained expression that my uncle had when he saw Song Ling being beaten by the boys from the Xuan Family. He held my hand; his hand was warm, and that warmth spread from my arm throughout my body. I felt as if my stiff body was slowly regaining warmth. In a daze, I wanted to sleep. When I opened my eyes again, I saw my mother crying over that man in black. I had never seen my mother cry before and feared she would scold me, so I closed my eyes again. After that day, I never saw that man in black again. Yet, I still believe he is my father; let me call him that.
I never saw my father again and didn’t dare to ask my mother about him. Although I missed him dearly, I was too afraid to inquire. To this day, I still don’t know where he is or why he isn’t with me and my mother. Later, I learned he lived in a place called Jianghu, which is quite far from us and not easy to travel back and forth.
When I turned ten, I accompanied my mother to the State Banquet. They asked me to sing, so I sang; they asked me to play the piano, so I played; they asked me to dance, so I danced.
Everyone was very happy. Later, they invited me to play with the princes and princesses as well as people from the Xuan Family. So, I went over there; if they bullied me, I'd just cry and had made up my mind to go anyway. A few princes said I was pretty and suggested that when I grew up, I'd make a good bride. So I asked them, "How many brides can I be?" They said only one person could marry me. I replied, "I like all of you quite a bit; then forget it." They found me amusing while I thought they were rather boring. So I said, "I've eaten too much and have a stomachache," and ran off to a quieter spot to play where there was fewer people around.
That’s when I first met Xuan Li. I told him, "You are more handsome than them."
At that time, he wasn’t much older than me either, but his way of speaking was completely on another level compared to mine at that moment. He said, "Can being good-looking fill your stomach?"
I thought for a long time before answering him, "It seems it can't; don't you usually have food to eat?"
He really was very handsome; he looked even better when he smiled. At that moment, feeling foolishly bold, I said to him, "They also say I'm pretty; can I marry you when I grow up?"
He had quite a bad temper and an unpleasant personality; he messed up my hair and said, "Who would want to marry a puppet like you? You sing when told to sing; you dance when told to dance; whatever you're asked to do is what you'll do—any palace maid could do that."
If it were any other time, I would have cried, but I held back my tears. If I cried, someone would surely blame him. But he was really terrible; when he saw that I was about to cry, he said, "Hurry up and cry. I've never seen a girl cry before."
Hearing this made me not want to cry anymore. I swallowed my tears and curiously asked, "Don't the girls in the palace cry?" Xuan Li pouted and replied, "Yeah, they just complain and don't cry."
I wanted to talk to him more because I really enjoyed being with him, but my mother called for me to leave. I didn't want to cry, but the tears kept falling. He disdainfully said, "Stop crying; it's really ugly. You're wiping your snot on my sleeve."
I looked for a handkerchief but couldn't find one, so I used my own sleeve to wipe away the tears and snot from his sleeve. Then I asked him, "My name is Jinse. What's your name? Will we meet again?"
He waved his hand dismissively, "Your mother is calling you; you should go."
"What’s your name?"
"Seriously, why are you so troublesome? I'll only tell you my name when I'm emperor. By then, you won't even need to ask."
"No way! You have to tell me now."
"My name is Xuan Li. You crying baby, hurry up and go away; I need to study." At that time, he was just a little taller than me—just a bit—but while I spent my days eating and sleeping at home, he had already started studying. So when I got home, I also began to study.
A few years later, he really became emperor. At that time, he seemed to be fifteen years old, and I was twelve and had already read many books.
Even now, I'm still the same; if someone asks me to sing, I'll sing; if they ask me to dance, I'll dance. His personality is still as terrible as ever, but my mother says he's a good emperor who is very busy and doesn't even take care of his own health.
Hearing this made me feel very uncomfortable. Fortunately, after he became emperor, he would occasionally leave the palace. Since the year he ascended the throne, every year during the Lantern Festival, he would go to the Mu Family and have them invite our families before going to the Lantern Festival together.
This year's Lantern Festival was filled with many beautiful stories.
Young Master Mu's beloved was like a fairy; her hair was not styled in an updo, and no one criticized her. She wore a veil, but her eyes were incredibly beautiful. She even gave me a delicious pill, and I liked her very much.
Later, she fell down a cliff, and Young Master Mu was very sad. However, I noticed a hint of sadness in Xuan Li's eyes as well. I was already very upset and crying, but suddenly I felt even more sorrowful. Young Master Mu said he would go find his beloved and jumped off the cliff. I thought Young Master Mu had committed suicide, but to my surprise, they eventually flew back up. Can people really fly?
That fairy-like woman did not mention this incident again. Everyone knew that Spiritual Incense was lying. I found Spiritual Incense quite frightening; my mother said the palace was a very scary place. Since Xuan Li lived in the palace, would he be afraid?
Later, they asked me to sing again, and I did.
In the evening during the Lantern Festival, there was a woman named Qing Lian. She was not a fairy; she was a singer, but she was very brave. She treated herself like a hydrangea to throw to her ideal husband. Zhu Qing, who had been silent all along, caught her. At that moment, I was so afraid that Xuan Li would go save her. If I treated myself like a hydrangea, would Xuan Li come to save me?
Afterward, Xuan Li and I released a Kongming Lantern together; it looked beautiful.
Then, the fairy-like Fengyin flew away again, and the elusive Young Master Mu also departed. Zhu Qing and Qing Lian left as well, while Mel took the playful Spiritual Incense away. Only Xuan Li and I remained on the boat; our Kongming Lantern had already flown very high. Even if they flew around, none of their lanterns could be higher than ours. Unfortunately, it would not come back.
Xuan Li did not want to return to the palace; he said he wanted to visit flower boats. I knew he meant those flower boats with flowers and women on them. While crying, I pulled him back and refused to let him go; I became brave too.
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