I grew up alongside Qing Yao, and our martial arts skills were inherited from her father. My family was brutally exterminated for openly advising the Foolish Monarch, leaving only me and Qing Yao. Initially, I had no desire for revenge; I only hoped to live peacefully with Qing Yao. However, after her father's death, Qing Yao began to train in martial arts. She told me that she was determined to kill the Foolish Monarch herself to avenge her father.
Qing Yao always protected me, saying I was her only family in this world. By her father's sickbed, I vowed to personally kill the Foolish Monarch to avenge my parents and Qing Yao's father. From that moment on, I devoted myself to martial arts training. Qing Yao would run dozens of miles to find renowned teachers for me. She said, "Shen Moxuan, you will definitely be able to slay the Foolish Monarch."
At that time, we lived in constant fear of being hunted down, barely able to eat or keep warm. When I fell ill, Qing Yao secretly ran thirty miles to the town to steal medicine for me. She told the pharmacist that she was getting medicine for her elder brother. When asked about the prescription, she replied, "It's in my heart."
After returning with the medicine, she told me that she had also checked the pulse of the Foolish Monarch and said, "That old thief can still live for another twenty or thirty years." Upon hearing this, I laughed and said to Qing Yao, "If that old thief really lives for another twenty or thirty years, won't that make everyone suffer for those years?"
Qing Yao's smile faded at my words. "If that's the case, then let that old thief die sooner," she said. I patted her shoulder and replied, "It's not that easy."
"What difficulty is there?" Qing Yao asked me. "Just kill him," she insisted.
"With so many experts around the Foolish Monarch, how can you possibly kill him?" I countered.
"If I can't do it, can you?" Qing Yao challenged me.
"I'll do my best," I replied. From that day on, Qing Yao trained even harder in martial arts. She said, "Shen Moxuan, this world needs you."
I never thought about bearing the weight of the world; I only wanted to slay the Foolish Monarch and avenge my parents.
Qing Yao told me that I needed to bear the weight of the world. So, I lived for Qing Yao and to carry that burden. Later, Foolish Monarch sent many skilled Imperial Guards to capture us. Qing Yao and I hid everywhere, going hungry day after day. I killed many Imperial Guards in front of Qing Yao, but I never let her touch any blood.
Eventually, we sought refuge with the Rebel Army. Together, Qing Yao and I fought against hundreds, taking the head of a general amidst the chaos of battle. From that moment on, we were never apart again. Later, we met Brother Jingyuan in the Rebel Army. Brother Jingyuan and I hit it off immediately; he said, "In this life, I only hope for peace in the world."
I smiled at his words and replied, "As for me, I only hope to kill that Foolish Monarch." From then on, we marched alongside Brother Jingyuan. During that time, Qing Yao went to Brother Jingyuan's tent every day to discuss matters. Seeing her return each day with a furrowed brow, I asked her what troubled her.
Qing Yao said, " Brother Jingyuan wants to support King Chengqing as emperor."
"And so what?" I asked her in response.
" King Chengqing and Foolish Monarch are of the same lineage; even if we change emperors, the common people will still suffer," Qing Yao replied.
"If that's the case, then let's not support King Chengqing," I said.
"But Brother Jingyuan says that without royal bloodline, there is no legitimacy," Qing Yao explained.
"If Brother Jingyuan has such intentions, why not declare himself emperor?" I suggested.
"He says he does not wish to be a traitor or rebel," Qing Yao responded.
"If he supports King Chengqing as emperor, isn't that being a traitor?" I countered.
"He says he wishes to serve King Chengqing," Qing Yao said.
"Foolish loyalty," I scoffed.
"Shen Moxuan, do you think what Brother Jingyuan said makes sense?" Qing Yao asked me.
"What does it have to do with me?" I retorted.
"It concerns me," Qing Yao replied.
"If you want to be emperor, I will be your subject," I said.
"I don't want to," Qing Yao shook her head.
"Then don't seek the throne," I replied.
"But Brother Jingyuan said..." Qing Yao hesitated.
"If he wants to establish King Chengqing as emperor, then let him do so," I said.
"You make it sound easy," Qing Yao reproached me.
"You neither want him to establish King Chengqing as emperor nor can you bear to contradict him. What exactly do you want?" I countered.
Qing Yao lowered her head in silence.
"Qing Yao, many things in this world cannot have a perfect solution," I advised.
"There will always be a way," Qing Yao insisted.
"If you want to stand firm, you must act decisively," I said.
Qing Yao glanced at me and turned to leave.
I watched her departing figure, filled with confusion.
I did not know what Qing Yao truly wanted.
Later, I learned that Qing Yao wanted me to ascend the throne.
She hoped I would bear the weight of the world.
But I was already a caged bird, how could I carry the world?
I knew Qing Yao cared for me deeply, yet I could never understand what exactly she loved about me.
Eventually, I realized.
She loved me because I was willing to bear the world.
She loved me because I was willing to bear her burdens.
She loved me because I was her kin.
She loved me because she could only love me.
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