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When I woke up again, I found myself lying in a pristine white room, the scent of disinfectant filling my nostrils. Du Ming was sitting by my bedside, holding my hand, his palm warm and sweaty. When he saw me open my eyes, he visibly sighed in relief, though his face still bore an unmistakable worry and fatigue.
"Lingxi, how are you feeling? Is there anywhere else that hurts?"
I tried to muster a smile but realized I didn't even have the strength to speak. It seemed Du Ming sensed my struggle; he gently patted the back of my hand. "The doctor said you overexerted your spiritual energy and need to rest well. We'll discuss everything else once you recover."
I nodded and glanced past Du Ming to see Bai Wei nearby, her eyes red and swollen. Upon noticing I was awake, she rushed to my side and hugged me tightly.
"Lingxi, you scared me to death! Do you know how worried I was when I heard the news..." Bai Wei's voice choked with emotion as I felt warm tears dripping onto my shoulder.
I gently patted her back in an attempt to comfort her, but lifting my arm felt like an immense effort.
"Alright, let her rest for now," Du Ming said. Only then did Bai Wei release me, looking at me with concern. "You take care of yourself; I'll come back to see you tomorrow."
I nodded as I watched Bai Wei leave. The room was left with just Du Ming and me, an indescribable silence spreading between us.
I weakly closed my eyes, trying to ignore the waves of weakness coursing through me. Du Ming remained by my side, never leaving. I could feel his gaze fixed on my face, hot and filled with guilt.
"Lingxi, I'm sorry..." His voice was low and hoarse, heavy with self-reproach. "It's all my fault; I didn't protect you well..."
I opened my eyes to see bloodshot eyes staring back at me, stubble on his chin indicating he hadn't shaved in days; he looked utterly worn out. I knew that this sudden disaster had impacted him just as much as it had me.
"It's not your fault; no one wanted this to happen..." I wanted to comfort him but found my voice barely audible.
Du Ming held my hand tightly, burying his head in my palm, his shoulders trembling slightly like a child who had done something wrong.
"If it weren't for saving me, you wouldn't have..." His voice broke as he spoke. "I always bring you trouble; I've dragged you down..."
Seeing him so self-blaming made my heart ache as if it were being pricked by needles. I wanted to tell him that I had never regretted saving him and had never seen him as a burden. But I lacked the strength even to speak.
"Du Ming, this isn't your fault..." I managed to utter a few words with great difficulty as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face.
Du Ming suddenly lifted his head in panic, hurriedly wiping away my tears. "Lingxi, don't cry! Is there anywhere else that hurts? I'll call the doctor..."
"I'm fine..." I grasped his hand and shook my head. "I'm just... a little scared..."
Du Ming pulled me into his embrace tightly as if trying to merge me into his very being. I felt his body tremble and heard his heavy breaths mixed with suppressed sobs.
In that moment, all my strength and pretense crumbled away. I clung tightly to him, burying my face in his chest and letting the tears flow freely.
We held each other closely, relying on one another for comfort after experiencing such a life-and-death ordeal; we understood each other's value and love more deeply than ever before.
Uncle Du didn't visit the hospital often, but whenever he did come, he brought plenty of supplements and checked on me with genuine concern as if he had become a different person. I could tell he was trying hard to make up for something. Perhaps this fire had made him realize that some things were more important than what he had always insisted upon.
My body is slowly recovering, surrounded every day by various elixirs and nutritious soups, but my spirit is growing more and more despondent. I cannot forget that fire; I cannot forget the helplessness and fear. I even begin to doubt whether I truly have the ability to fulfill the role of "Madam Du." Can I really face all the storms of the future alongside Du Ming?
I have started to become taciturn, often lost in thought by myself. Bai Wei has noticed something is off with me, but she doesn't know how to comfort me. All she can do is silently stay by my side and offer me a warm embrace.
One night, I couldn't sleep. I quietly got up and walked to the hospital rooftop. The night breeze gently blew away the summer heat, but it could not dispel the gloom in my heart. I looked up at the starry sky, countless stars twinkling in the night, as if mocking my insignificance and helplessness.
Suddenly, I felt so tired, so very tired. I wanted to give up, to escape from it all. But where could I possibly run to?
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