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墨書 Inktalez
There is still hope, I keep telling myself.
There must be hope. I need him so much, and I am trying so hard to keep him; he must sense it and will also try to stay.
I rushed out of the house and ran downstairs, grabbing a set of car keys at the entrance before dashing into the rain.
The torrential rain soaked me instantly, my bare feet splashing in the water, thunder rumbling overhead, and everything in front of me blurred.
The car lights flickered twice in the dark night as I hurried over, every second a race against time.
This night was the longest journey of my life; many later sorrows, sadness, and humiliations seemed pale and weak compared to this moment.
But God could not hear my prayers or see my struggles. All my courage and strength were stripped away when I heard the doctor's final verdict.
"The child is gone."
These simple words were louder than the thunder outside, sharper than lightning, sending me directly into a dark world.
When I woke up, I found myself lying in a white hospital room, my hand unconsciously resting on my abdomen. The flatness cruelly reminded me of the harsh reality.
Despair loomed above me.
No one can understand the heart of a woman who has lost a child, nor can anyone comprehend the feelings of a woman who watches her child being destroyed yet feels powerless to stop it, unless she has experienced it herself.
The chest felt empty, as if my heart had vanished along with the fetus.
Yes, he is gone, and this marriage has come to an end. My future is once again devoid of anything, and I have lost all desire to live.
The door to the hospital room was pushed open, and the Nurse came in to change the dressing and handed me the diagnosis report.
It clearly stated that due to excessive sexual activity, the fetus was prematurely delivered.
How ironic. Xiao Minxing never loved me; he had this child out of revenge and then destroyed it out of revenge. Perhaps what people say about karma is true. From beginning to end, all I have left is heartache and despair.
The Nurse, holding the empty medicine bottle, angrily asked, "What’s wrong with your husband? He admitted you but just left. This kind of thing is supposed to be a shared responsibility; why isn’t he caring or asking about it?"
I suddenly looked up and stared at the Nurse, asking, "Who said my husband admitted me?"
She paused for a moment but replied, "Your husband did; that's what he said. His last name is Xiao."
I felt a wave of confusion wash over me. I never expected Xiao Minxing to come. But it wouldn’t be surprising if he did; perhaps he came to see my miserable state. It would be best if, as he said before, I died early and was reborn quickly. That way, he wouldn’t have to bear the shame of divorce or take on the responsibilities of a marriage tainted by hatred, nor would he have to see me, this deceiver, every day.
The room fell silent again. My heart felt like ashes as I lay on the hospital bed in a daze, sometimes sleeping and sometimes waking. Occasionally when I opened my eyes, apart from seeing the Nurse or Doctor, there was only silence in the room.
I was awakened by someone pushing me gently. Standing by the bed was a gynecologist in her forties or fifties, followed by two Nurses.
She had a kind face and asked me if I felt any discomfort anywhere.
I unconsciously shook my head, wondering where the discomfort could be. My body felt completely fine.
She nodded and said, "There's nothing serious anymore. You can be discharged today. Just take good care of yourself at home. It's best to avoid sexual activity for the next month, and you shouldn't try to conceive again for six months. Otherwise, it might lead to habitual miscarriage. You're still young, and as long as you're healthy, you can have children in the future."
I shook my head in confusion.
Will there still be children? I fear I may never have kids again in this lifetime.
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