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墨書 Inktalez
When Song Xiaoning finally came to see me, the winter of 2007 was approaching, and I wrapped myself tightly in a thick sweater.
As soon as he got off the bus, I spotted him from a distance, waving and shouting, "Over here! Over here!"
Later, Song Xiaoning said that my jumping around looked like an excited monkey, which was particularly funny.
Song Xiaoning put his arm around my shoulder and said, "My sister Xiao Ting is getting more and more beautiful."
He had never said anything like that to me before, and I immediately became so excited that I stuttered while speaking. I took Song Xiaoning to see our classroom, our small auditorium, our library, and our basketball court. We even went to eat the delicious grilled fish from outside our school.
I always thought that if I hadn't run into Cheng Yusen on the way back, that day with Song Xiaoning would have been so wonderful.
While walking down the street, I said, "Song Xiaoning, my hands are cold; let me borrow your pocket."
He responded with a "Hmm," and I boldly shoved my hands in.
At that moment, Cheng Yusen suddenly jumped out from somewhere. I wanted to pretend I didn't see him and quickened my pace with Song Xiaoning, but he ungraciously came closer.
"Xiao Ting," he greeted me with a friendly smile, and I wished I could slap him.
"Hello, I'm Xiao Ting's classmate; my name is Cheng Yusen," he said as he extended a hand.
Song Xiaoning shook hands with him and said, "I'm Song Xiaoning."
"Are you Xiao Ting's boyfriend?" Before his words had even settled, Song Xiaoning seemed slightly taken aback.
My hand tucked in his pocket was clearly sweating.
"No," he seemed to smile as he shook his head. "I'm Xiao Ting's brother."
Brother... What a warm yet sorrowful word.
I slowly pulled my hand out of Song Xiaoning's pocket, then I took a step back and, before they could react, turned and ran with all my might.
"Xiao Ting, where are you going?" Their voices called out simultaneously behind me.
Don't stop! It felt like a voice inside me was saying this. My tears rolled down from my eyes, and before they could slide down to my cheeks, the wind carried them far away.
It turns out that all along, in your heart, I have always appeared in this role.
That night, the first snow of winter fell.
I returned to the dormitory at ten o'clock and collapsed onto my bed to sleep.
I seemed to have caught a cold, so I fumbled through the drawer to take some cold medicine and lay back down.
My phone was in the pocket of my sweater, but it had been turned off due to low battery.
The next day, I started running a fever, and the girl I shared a room with took me to the hospital.
I did not see Song Xiaoning; he had already taken the morning train back.
I kept waiting for Song Xiaoning to call me. I was restless and quickly lost weight.
"I'll go with you to find him."
Cheng Yusen volunteered to accompany me, and I finally made up my mind that I had to go back and take a look.
We didn't even take a day off and took the train back overnight. I didn't go home but went straight to my master's repair shop.
It was just five o'clock, and the shop hadn't opened yet, so I sat on the steps in front of the door, hugging my knees and falling asleep.
Later, my master arrived, but Song Xiaoning didn't come. He was no longer here.
"Xiaoning said he went to do business with friends; he left right after he came from you," my master said hesitantly as he lit his pipe.
I didn't even go inside; I just said goodbye to my master.
I stumbled down the street, and Cheng Yusen followed me silently from behind.
I felt like my heart was breaking. I said, "I feel like I'm dying; Song Xiaoning must be avoiding me. He really doesn't like me anymore."
Cheng Yusen tightly grasped my shoulders and said, "You still have me."
But you're not Song Xiaoning.
I took Cheng Yusen home, where my mom happily prepared a whole table of dishes for us. She thought Cheng Yusen was my boyfriend, and I didn't explain anything, which surprised Cheng Yusen.
Cheng Yusen got along particularly well with my dad, and after dinner, they started playing chess at the small table.
After returning to school, we really began to date.
But the two of us always maintained a respectful distance.
In January 2009, Master fell seriously ill and was hospitalized, closing the repair shop.
I spent almost the entire winter break accompanying Master in the hospital.
In March, as his condition worsened, he called me to his bedside and said, "There is something you must know, Xiaoning loves you the most."
At that moment, I finally learned about the past.
Not long after Song Xiaoning was released from prison, he was targeted by a fellow inmate who had been released early. The inmate asked Song Xiaoning to temporarily hold onto some items for him, which he would take back every few days.
Later, Song Xiaoning discovered that those items were actually drugs.
He advised his friend to stop, but having already made a significant amount of money, the friend refused to let go and even threatened him. They were both involved; neither could escape responsibility.
Song Xiaoning decided to turn himself in. Before doing so, he came to see me.
That day, he searched for me all night. It was Cheng Yusen who called my dormitory to confirm that I had returned before he felt at ease to leave.
They were all sentenced to varying lengths of imprisonment. Thanks to Song Xiaoning's report, he received only six months.
After his release, he used Master's money to start some small businesses, which of course no one ever mentioned to me.
I stood by Master's bedside, unable to speak for a long time. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time; in the end, I just stood there, feeling numb.
At the end of March, Master passed away in the hospital, and Song Xiaoning rushed back.
He seemed to have grown up all at once, displaying a maturity beyond his years.
After properly handling the affairs of my master, I remembered the time he said goodbye to his father, holding me tightly and crying hard. Back then, he was still such a naive young boy.
Song Xiaoning was always accompanied by a delicate girl. Looking at me in a daze, Song Xiaoning said, "Xiao Ting, why don't you call her sister-in-law?"
I paused for a moment but ultimately did not speak.
Song Xiaoning inherited my master's repair shop and left the city after selling it.
Before leaving, Song Xiaoning gave me an exquisite Sony notebook.
I remember my master saying that Song Xiaoning agreed to help his cellmate so he could save money to buy me a notebook.
I recall standing in front of the Sony counter, pointing at that notebook and telling Song Xiaoning that if I had one, I would be incredibly happy.
I just knew that in our lives, there are some people we are destined to part with, leaving only faint memories.
From then on, I missed Song Xiaoning forever.
My master said that Song Xiaoning firmly believed I deserved better happiness.
He didn't know that the boy I had always liked, Song Xiaoning, was the greatest happiness of my life.
In the end, we both forgot to build a bridge to look into each other's hearts.
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