It’s New Year’s.
I returned home.
My parents warmly inquired about me.
My mom made my favorite dumplings.
My dad was busy in the kitchen preparing New Year goods.
The house was lively, but I felt like something was missing.
Oh, Xu Zhiyuan was missing.
I didn’t bring him back.
He has entered the second phase of chemotherapy, and his health is not what it used to be.
“Zhenzhen, are these the New Year goods you bought?” my mom asked.
“Yeah.”
“Why are they all chosen by Zhiyuan?”
“Huh?” I was taken aback for a moment before realizing, “Right, they were all picked by him; I didn’t spend any money.”
Xu Zhiyuan’s meticulous care in daily life is something I can’t compare to.
During the New Year's Eve dinner, the house was filled with people.
Everyone tacitly avoided mentioning Xu Zhiyuan's illness.
But I could sense that everyone was worried.
Xu Zhiyuan video-called us, and we celebrated the New Year together.
“Baby, don’t just chat with me,” Xu Zhiyuan said, “Go find your cousins and play games.”
“Okay.”
I got up to find my cousins.
They were playing cards.
When they saw me coming over, my cousin asked, “Want to join us?”
“Sure!”
I joined them.
Playing until one in the morning, I threw down the cards in my hand and said, "I'm done, I'm exhausted!"
"Zhenzhen..." my cousin hesitated.
"Hmm?"
"You..."
"What do you want to say?"
"You and Xu Zhiyuan..."
"We're doing well," I replied with a smile. "He's been actively cooperating with the treatment."
"His condition..."
"He will get better," I said firmly. "He will definitely get better."
"Zhenzhen, you need to be mentally prepared," my cousin said, patting my shoulder. "Some things are beyond our control."
"I know," I stood up to leave. "I won't give up on Xu Zhiyuan."
During the New Year, I stayed at home.
I didn't go to see Xu Zhiyuan.
He was in the hospital, with doctors and nurses taking care of him.
There was nothing I could do by going there.
The only thing I could do was wait for news about him.
On the seventh day of the New Year, Xu Zhiyuan sent a message saying he had completed the second round of chemotherapy and could go home to rest.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
After finishing the First Round of Chemotherapy, Xu Zhiyuan rested at home for a few days.
During those days, I took care of him.
His mental state was much worse than before.
Previously, he would go out for a run every morning.
Now, he needed to sleep for long periods every day.
Sometimes, I wouldn't see him at all throughout the day.
I knew that chemotherapy had taken a significant toll on his body.
I could only try to make sure he ate more to replenish his nutrition.
On the tenth day of the New Year, I bought a plane ticket, preparing to return to Beijing.
Before leaving, I went to the hospital to see Xu Zhiyuan.
I brought the dumplings my grandmother made to the hospital for Xu Zhiyuan to eat.
When I arrived at the hospital, Xu Zhiyuan was playing mobile mahjong.
"Baby, you're here," Xu Zhiyuan said with a smile as he put down his phone. "Come, play mahjong with me."
"Okay." I sat by the bed and picked up my phone. "Three dots."
"I won!" The lady across from us exclaimed excitedly. "Pay up, pay up!"
Xu Zhiyuan and I both laughed.
After playing for a while, the other three players stopped.
"Zhiyuan, we're leaving now. Let's play again next time."
"Okay, let's play again next time."
Only Xu Zhiyuan and I were left in the ward.
"Baby, when are you going back to Beijing?"
"Tomorrow."
"After you go back, take good care of yourself."
"I know," I said softly. "You too."
"I will take good care of my treatment," Xu Zhiyuan smiled. "Baby, you need to study hard for your exams and find a good job."
"Okay."
"If you're not happy in Beijing..." Xu Zhiyuan said softly, "just come back to Chengdu."
"I will always be with you," I said firmly.
Xu Zhiyuan smiled but didn't say anything more.
The next morning, I took a flight back to Beijing.
After returning to Beijing, I continued to send out resumes and attend interviews.
Xu Zhiyuan was still undergoing chemotherapy.
I was still waiting for him.
I knew he would get better.
He would definitely get better.
The results of the graduate school entrance exam came out.
My grades are not very ideal.
But I have tried my best.
I messaged Xu Zhiyuan to tell him about my grades.
Xu Zhiyuan replied, "You did great, baby!"
I smiled and didn't reply further.
I know that Xu Zhiyuan is comforting me.
Although my grades are not ideal, they are not too bad either.
There is still a chance.
As long as I work a little harder, there is still hope.
I continue to send out resumes and attend interviews.
Time flies.
In the blink of an eye, three months have passed.
During these three months, I have been looking for a job in Beijing and accompanying Xu Zhiyuan.
Xu Zhiyuan has been undergoing chemotherapy at the hospital.
We are both working hard for our future.
"Baby, I finished my chemotherapy," Xu Zhiyuan messaged me.
"That's great!" I replied excitedly, "How do you feel now?"
"I feel pretty good."
"Then you need to rest."
"I know."
"I'll come back to see you in a couple of days."
"Okay."
Two days later, I bought a plane ticket and returned to Chengdu.
I went to the hospital to find Xu Zhiyuan.
Xu Zhiyuan was watching TV.
"Zhiyuan!" I quickly walked to the bedside, "I'm here!"
"Baby!" Xu Zhiyuan smiled and hugged me, "You’re back!"
"Mm!" I nodded vigorously, "I'm back!"
I snuggled into Xu Zhiyuan's arms and looked up at him, "What are you watching?"
"The theme song of Ultraman Tiga."
"..." I couldn't help but laugh, "The Miracle Reappears?"
"Yeah."
"What made you want to watch this all of a sudden?"
"I just thought of it, so I decided to watch it," Xu Zhiyuan said with a smile. "Baby, do you want to watch it too?"
"You go ahead; I'll get you something to eat first." I stood up and walked outside.
"Baby." Xu Zhiyuan called me back.
"Mm?"
"You seem to have lost weight."
"Really?" I smiled, "I'm on a diet."
"Don't diet; looking a bit chubby is better."
"Okay, I'll listen to you." I waved my hand, "You just watch TV obediently while I go get you something to eat."
"Mm."
I left the ward and took a deep breath.
Xu Zhiyuan had lost a lot of weight.
His complexion was very poor.
I knew his condition was worsening.
But there was nothing I could do.
I could only encourage him, comfort him, and tell him not to give up.
I could only pray for a miracle to happen.
I walked to the cafeteria and got some food for Xu Zhiyuan.
When I returned to the ward, I said, "Zhiyuan, it's time to eat."
"Okay." Xu Zhiyuan put down his phone and smiled, "I'm hungry."
"Then eat more," I handed him the chopsticks.
"Mm." Xu Zhiyuan took the chopsticks and began to eat.
He didn't say anything more.
I didn't say anything more either.
We were both trying to maintain a facade of calm.
But we both knew the turmoil and helplessness within us.
After dinner, I said to Xu Zhiyuan, "Zhiyuan, I'm going out for a bit."
"Where to?"
"I'm going to buy something."
"Okay."
I left the hospital room and wandered aimlessly through the hospital.
I didn't know what I was going to buy.
I just wanted some time alone.
I walked to the entrance of the hospital and saw a small convenience store.
There were many snacks in the store.
I remembered how, when Xu Zhiyuan was sick before, I really wanted to buy him snacks but didn't dare to.
Now, I could buy whatever I wanted.
I walked into the convenience store and bought a bunch of snacks.
Carrying the snacks, I returned to the hospital room.
"Zhiyuan, I bought some snacks," I said with a smile, "there are your favorite chips."
"Baby, I don't eat snacks," Xu Zhiyuan said softly.
"It's okay to have a little sometimes," I placed the snacks on the table, "try them; they're really good."
"Okay." Xu Zhiyuan took a chip and put it in his mouth, "It's really good."
"Right?" I smiled, "I specifically bought them for you."
"Thank you, baby."
"What for?" I patted Xu Zhiyuan's head, "You need to eat well, okay?"
"Okay."
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