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The Life Love Song of Xu Zhiyuan
墨書 Inktalez
1
While I was focused on preparing for my graduate school exams, Xu Zhiyuan was still working far away in Beijing. We kept in touch every day through WeChat. Today, I shared about the cold weather in Beijing and my longing for home. Xu Zhiyuan replied, "After you finish your exams, you can come back to Chengdu. I'll treat you to hot pot and welcome you back."
"Sure, I want the spiciest one!"
"In such cold weather, eating the spiciest hot pot will make you sweat."
"That's exactly what makes it fun!"
Xu Zhiyuan didn't reply anymore. I thought he must have gotten busy.
After a while, Xu Zhiyuan sent a message: "Baby, I'm not feeling well."
"What's wrong?"
"I probably ate something bad for dinner; my stomach hurts."
"Who told you to eat randomly!" I couldn't help but lecture him, "I've told you so many times that you need to watch what you eat!"
"I know, I won't do it again."
"Get some rest; I won't disturb you." After thinking for a moment, I sent another message, "If it really hurts, go see a doctor."
"Yeah, I'll take care of myself. You focus on your exams; don't worry about me."
However, Xu Zhiyuan didn't go to work. He took a leave of absence and stayed home to rest. I was a bit worried but thought he would take it seriously.
"Baby, the doctor wants me to be hospitalized for surgery."
"Surgery?" I was startled.
"Don't worry; it's a minor surgery. But during this time, I won't be able to contact you often."
"Okay, then I'll focus on my exams. You take care during the surgery."
"I'm sorry, baby; I can't be with you right now."
"It's fine; just focus on getting better," I comforted him. "I'll get into grad school, and once you're well, we can celebrate together."
"Mm!"
Xu Zhiyuan has always been very obedient. Since he said it was a minor surgery, it must be fine. I focused on preparing for my exams and didn’t think about anything else. The next day, I received a gift from Xu Zhiyuan. It was a lipstick in my favorite color. I was so surprised that I almost screamed.
“Babe, look what I received!” I couldn't wait to share with my friends.
“Wow, it's bright red!”
“How lucky, Zhiyuan remembers your preferences.”
“I’m really envious.”
I smiled happily.
“I never expected that someone in the late stages of cancer would still have the mood to buy lipstick for his girlfriend.”
Those words felt like a bucket of cold water poured over me. My smile froze on my face.
“What are you talking about?”
“Zheng Zhen, don’t you know?” The other person looked at me in shock, “Your boyfriend has cancer, Advanced Colon Cancer.”
“You're talking nonsense!”
“It’s true. He’s in the same support group as my husband; my husband knows him.”
I stood there in disbelief.
“Zhenzhen, didn’t your boyfriend tell you?”
“He said it was a minor surgery…”
“Colon cancer is cancer.”
I was stunned. After a long time, I finally remembered to message Xu Zhiyuan.
“Zhiyuan, are you there?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you?”
“At home.”
"Are you... okay?"
"Babe, I told you I need to be hospitalized for surgery. I'm at the hospital now."
"You..."
"I'm fine, don't worry. Focus on your exam, okay?"
"Okay."
I wiped my face and realized I didn't know when I had started crying.
"Zhenzhen, your boyfriend is in the late stages of cancer, how can he still hide this from you?"
"He doesn't want to affect my exam."
"But... such a big thing, how can you not care?"
"Since he doesn't want me to know, I'll pretend I don't know." I said firmly, "I need to focus on my exam so he won't worry about me."
"Zhenzhen, he really loves you."
"I love him too."
From that day on, the messages from Xu Zhiyuan became shorter and shorter.
"I feel awful, no energy to type," he said.
"Then you should rest well. I'll study hard for the exam."
"Good luck, babe."
"Mm!"
On the day of the exam, I woke up very early.
Xu Zhiyuan called: "Babe, it's exam day, good luck."
"Zhiyuan, how are you doing?"
"I'm fine, I've been discharged from the hospital."
"Really?"
"Mm."
"That's good."
"Babe, don't feel pressured. No matter if you pass or not, I support you."
"Okay."
With renewed confidence, I walked into the examination room.
Over the two days of exams, I performed very well.
After finishing the exam, I immediately packed my things and left Beijing. I had already booked a flight for tomorrow. I was going back to find Xu Zhiyuan. However, before I boarded the plane, I received a message from Xu Zhiyuan.
"Baby, I need to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"I have cancer."
"I know."
"You know?"
"Yes, I know you have Advanced Colon Cancer."
There was a long silence on the other end.
"How did you find out?"
"Your friend's partner told me." I tried to keep my tone calm. "Zhiyuan, you've already gone through the First Round of Chemotherapy, right?"
"Yes..."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid you'd worry."
"If you don't tell me, I'll worry even more!" Tears streamed down my face. "Where are you now? I'm coming to find you!"
"I'm going home..."
"Okay, wait for me. I'm heading to the airport right now to buy a ticket back!"
I hurried to the train station. Xu Zhiyuan called: "Baby, where are you?"
"I'm about to take a flight back to Chengdu."
"Don't fly; take the train."
"Why?"
"I... I want to pick you up."
I hesitated for a moment and said, "Alright, then I'll take the train."
"I'll come to get you."
I dragged my suitcase into the train station.
While waiting for the bus, I received a call from Xu Zhiyuan.
"Baby, where are you?"
"I'm in the waiting room."
"I see you."
I looked up.
Xu Zhiyuan was wearing a coat and a scarf, standing not far away.
He smiled and waved at me.
He looked just the same as before.
My nose tinged with emotion as I dragged my suitcase over and threw myself into his arms.
Xu Zhiyuan held me close.
His chest was still warm.
"Zhiyuan..."
"Baby, have some milk tea first." Xu Zhiyuan handed me a cup of milk tea.
I took it and had a sip.
"Baby, let me carry your bag."
"No need." I hugged my backpack tightly, "I can carry it myself."
"Why are you guarding it so closely?" Xu Zhiyuan laughed, "Afraid I'll steal it from you?"
"Yes."
"Silly baby, why would I steal your things?"
"You would!" I couldn't help but cry out, "You would take everything from me!"
You would take away my happiness.
Xu Zhiyuan embraced me: "Baby, don't cry."
"Why did you get cancer?" I cried, "This must be a misdiagnosis, right?"
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