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墨書 Inktalez
Fifteen years ago, I and Chi Mu had just confirmed our relationship.
We walked hand in hand on the university campus.
He bought me milk tea, took me out for delicious meals, explained topics to me, and helped me review my studies.
Our relationship was very good.
One day, he suddenly disappeared without a word.
I searched for him for a long time, almost turning the school upside down.
His mother said he went abroad.
I didn't believe it.
I ran to his house and waited from day to night, and from night to day.
I curled up in a corner with the doll he gave me, softly sobbing.
On the third day, he returned.
I threw myself into his arms and cried uncontrollably.
A month later, his mother came to see me.
She handed me a check and told me to leave Chi Mu.
She said, " Ning Zhaozhao, I know you are infertile, and it will never be cured in this lifetime."
"Our family’s Chi Mu can never marry you."
"You took the money, so hurry up and leave. Don't entangle him any longer."
I cried and trembled all over, but I bit my lip hard to keep myself from making a sound.
I refused to compromise. She said, " Ning Zhaozhao, can you bear to let Chi Mu live his life with his head held low because of you?"
"Just pity him and let him go."
I agreed.
I urged Chi Mu to break up, but he refused.
He held me and cried with bloodshot eyes: " Ning Zhaozhao, I don't care if you can have children; I just want you by my side."
I covered his mouth, laughing until tears streamed down my face: "I care."
" Chi Mu, if I love you, I shouldn't let you endure this."
"Be obedient; let's break up."
He disagreed and even threatened to die.
His mother was so angry that she slapped him: "Useless thing, what’s so good about that woman?"
"She doesn't deserve you!"
Chi Mu shouted, "I don't care if she deserves it or not, I only know that she is my everything."
"Mom, if I can't marry her in this lifetime, then I would rather never get married at all!"
His mother cried with red eyes, but felt helpless.
Later, his mother compromised.
But I hesitated.
My Mom suffered from Uremia.
The doctor told me that My Mom wouldn't live much longer and needed someone to accompany her.
She urged me to break up with Chi Mu so I wouldn't drag him down.
I couldn't bear to leave Chi Mu, but I also couldn't ignore My Mom's illness; she needed money for treatment.
After much hesitation, I ultimately chose to leave Chi Mu.
I lied to him and said, " Chi Mu, I don't want to be with you anymore."
He asked me why with red eyes.
I replied, "Because I don't love you anymore."
Chi Mu went crazy.
He came to me every day, begging me to believe him, begging me not to break up.
I steeled myself and said many harsh words to him.
I told him that I hated him, that I was disgusted by him, that I loathed him.
Chi Mu broke down and cried, kneeling on the ground, holding onto me tightly.
“ Ning Zhaozhao, please, don’t break up with me.”
“As long as you don’t break up with me, I’ll do anything.”
“ Ning Zhaozhao, please…”
I stroked his face, tears streaming down uncontrollably.
Chi Mu had hated me for many years.
I bought my mother’s favorite persimmons and went to the cemetery to say goodbye to her.
“Mom, I’m dying soon; you can’t celebrate my birthday anymore.”
“Also, don’t come to see me in the future; I might not be here.”
Before she passed away, my mother had made a Fuwa for me, which had Chi Mu ’s birthday engraved on it.
My mom went to seek a sorcerer, saying that this Fuwa could bless us both with safety and a long life together.
Chi Mu used to treasure this Fuwa very much.
I worry that after I die, Chi Mu will throw it away.
So, I want to take it back and place it in front of my mother's tombstone so it can accompany her.
When I went to Chi Mu's company, he was watching the video of my interview from the morning.
In the video, I said that I was dying soon.
Seeing me, Chi Mu tossed his phone aside.
"What brings you here?"
He didn't ask me about the video.
Chi Mu looked down at me, his dark pupils reflecting my shadow.
I put my hand into my coat pocket and calmly said, "Yes, I'm dying soon."
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