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Heavenly Mandate
墨書 Inktalez
I am Lin Jiu, the eldest in my family and the first grandchild of the next generation.
On the day I was born, sunlight filled the thirteenth day of September. In that thatched house gently swaying in the wind, I came into the world, my loud cries echoing against the walls.
The sunlight at that time was soft enough to melt everything. It filtered through the sparse gaps in the thatched roof, casting mottled shadows inside, as if it wanted to bring a touch of comfort to this new life. A gentle breeze quietly slipped into the room, lightly brushing away the stuffiness and bringing a refreshing coolness.
However, compared to the serene and beautiful weather outside, the heavy atmosphere inside felt oppressive.
Grandfather lay on that old wooden bed; although his body was weakening, there was still a glimmer of expectation in his eyes. He struggled to extend his hand and said in a weak but warm voice, "Let me see this new child." His tone was filled with joy and anticipation for new life.
In stark contrast, Grandmother's reaction was entirely different. She stood coldly to the side, her face full of gloom and dissatisfaction.
She glanced at me with little warmth in her eyes and said sharply, "A worthless child, not even a boy; what’s there to look at?" Her words instantly dropped the atmosphere in the room to freezing point.
Grandfather was clearly afraid of her; everyone in the neighborhood knew this.
Faced with Grandmother's harshness, he chose silence and said nothing more. But I knew his heart must have been filled with helplessness and struggle.
Mother's experience during her confinement was even more heartbreaking. She was weak and desperately needed nutrition, yet even having two eggs was a luxury; her daily meals consisted only of coarse grains and pickled vegetables. This was undoubtedly adding insult to injury for a mother who had just given birth.
Grandmother always seemed resentful about our family's difficulties, pointing fingers at us day and night, loudly shouting, "You useless bunch!"
At that time, Grandfather had already been bedridden for many years.
I heard that he participated in a grueling battle in his youth, bravely fighting to protect his home and country, ultimately retiring due to injuries. Whenever others mention this part of his past, they always praise my grandfather's heroic deeds, and his story once became a legend in the village.
When the villagers recounted my grandfather's bravery in their local dialect, it was as if they could vividly recreate the scenes of war before our eyes.
However, this praise stood in stark contrast to reality.
"That old fellow Linde Xian, everything is good about him, except he doesn't know how to stay clear-headed. Why on earth did he marry a fierce woman with no reason at all!"
The villagers often discussed this, expressing sympathy for my grandfather and dissatisfaction with my grandmother. Whenever she was mentioned, they would shake their heads and sigh, which showed the "reputation" she had outside.
Growing up in such an environment, I learned from a young age to read people's expressions and be cautious with my words and actions. I learned to find joy and hope in adversity, striving to become strong and optimistic.
Our family's financial situation was never good, so after my grandfather was injured, we could only arrange for him to have a few surgeries at the local health clinic. The clinic was poorly equipped and had limited medical resources; we had no other choice.
After the surgery, my grandfather appeared exceptionally weak; all his strength seemed to have been drained away. Due to the lack of proper care and recovery, his health gradually deteriorated.
Every day, I could feel his vitality slipping away little by little. The most heartbreaking thing was the open wound on his abdomen, which had not received adequate medical attention and took a long time to heal. For a long period afterward, his organs could be seen easily through the wound.
One morning, just a few months after I was born, before dawn had fully arrived, our home was filled with a cacophony of noise. I heard adults speaking anxiously and hurried footsteps, followed by low sobs.
It was on that morning that he painfully left us; it happened so suddenly yet seemed somehow anticipated.
In his final moments, his eyes were still filled with expectation and reluctance, as if he were waiting for something. But the comfort he longed for never arrived. That sense of regret and longing forever remained in his eyes and etched itself into our hearts.
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