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墨書 Inktalez
Am I really such a pathetic person?
Just like there are no complicated laws and regulations, ancient people didn't have many despicable thoughts; at most, they were simply straightforwardly evil. However, after experiencing civilization, laws, morals, and compromises, people have become increasingly slick and increasingly despicable.
After establishing firm principles and beliefs for a lifetime, he finds himself unable to even meet the standards of an ordinary person in areas that don't require adherence.
A subtly awkward atmosphere spread in Jiang Yizhou's office, and the assistant, skilled at reading the room, tactfully stepped out.
"Yi Zhou, I heard from Lu Jie that you and Ding Zhengnan... broke up?" This was certainly the second worst question Jiang Yizhou could anticipate.
The first worst question would be, "Can I be your girlfriend?"
That question had already been laid bare, while the second worst one still left Jiang Yizhou some room to maneuver.
Song Rushi sat elegantly on the guest sofa. Although her expression wasn't overly serious, she was definitely well-groomed. The joy in her eyes and her alluring charm were evident to anyone.
Looking at Song Rushi, who was dressed in an outfit that prioritized style over warmth, Jiang Yizhou didn't immediately respond. Instead, he walked over and sat down on the right side of her, picked up the kettle to check the temperature, and began to brew tea slowly according to what he had learned.
Tick-tock, tick-tock...
Time passed second by second. Song Rushi seemed hesitant to speak; her legs were crossed, and her delicate hands were tightly clasped together on her lap. She appeared a bit anxious waiting and didn't want to wait any longer, worried that Jiang Yizhou might say something unpleasant.
"Have a cup of tea!" Jiang Yizhou handed her a cup of tea he had brewed. To be honest, he didn't know much about tea art, but this series of actions gave him ample time to think and a chance to calm down.
"As such," he began, "you know? At first, I thought that love is something people create to find a noble ideal for their lives." Jiang Yizhou raised his teacup and sipped slowly while his gaze wandered around the spacious room.
"So my initial thought was simple: once I earn money—whether through blind dates or arrangements—I would find a woman I find acceptable. If it’s marriage, then it would be someone who can support each other through life; if it's just for having children, then I would look for someone beautiful with fair skin."
In the soundproofed chairman's office, only Jiang Yizhou's voice reflecting on life remained in the quiet.
Song Rushi didn't know what the man was trying to tell her; this was just the beginning.
Hearing only his own echo, Jiang Yizhou regretted the soundproofing renovations he had made in hopes of experiencing some delightful scenarios here. The anticipated events never occurred, leaving him in such an awkward situation.
Feeling that the tea was no longer scalding hot, he drank it all in one go and continued, "Later, I met Ding Zhengnan, and I still don't understand why she would be interested in me. When love happened to me, I became even more confused. However, that didn't stop me from being moved by her actions time and again, and eventually, I accepted her!"
"After that, most of what happened was related to you. I became wealthy and established my own career, which inevitably inflated my ego. I wanted to experience the joys of having multiple partners, so I foolishly dragged you into this!"
As soon as these words left his mouth, Jiang Yizhou knew they would hit Song Rushi hard.
The woman suddenly understood many things; her position in Jiang Yizhou's heart was akin to that of a concubine in a polygamous relationship. Even if the beloved wife left, there was no possibility for her to be elevated in status.
Even though Jiang Yizhou felt reluctant inside, he showed no signs of stopping. "Ding Zhengnan left because I revealed our situation to her and shared my thoughts. She probably couldn't accept the absurd ideas of someone as ridiculous as me! Now I'm being completely honest with you..."
"Don't!" Song Rushi buried her head and covered her ears. Jiang Yizhou couldn't see her expression but could guess what it was.
This was perhaps one of the achievements he gained from his rebirth.
In his past life, due to personal poverty and hardships, he always had to accommodate others. Even his parents, who were the only ones who could indulge him, were growing old and could no longer bear his whims.
Now, relying on what felt like cheating combined with hard work after awakening, he fought desperately to earn money and seized opportunities from his memories, quickly transforming himself into a billionaire.
His awkward and pretentious personality was tolerated by others because of this wealth and status rather than being forced to change.
He no longer needed to live constrained by his thoughts or burden others with his dilemmas; he left those challenges for Ding Zhengnan and Song Rushi to grapple with.
He sat there, leaving space for the two important women in his life. As long as they were willing to accept him, they could continue to accompany him as before. If they chose not to accept it and left on their own, Jiang Yizhou would also gladly accept that—except for the lingering feelings of reluctance and possessiveness stemming from his past life.
Imagining who might accompany the women who left him filled him with jealousy and anger, yet he felt helpless.
"I can't promise you anything; I've decided I don't want to get married. But if you're willing, there will always be a place for you by my side!" Jiang Yizhou gently leaned forward, took her hand away, caressed her back, feeling her waist-length hair without any pity as he spoke.
Being a bit cruel would help those still holding onto hope see him clearly; this was truly what was best for her.
Why not just accept her?
What kind of joke is that? People are always lenient with themselves and strict with others. Jiang Yizhou deeply appreciates this self-awareness. After all, people live for themselves, and this does not conflict with moral ethics or responsibilities.
People can sacrifice for their country because they identify with it, and they can go through fire and water for someone they love. Ultimately, these actions are all for their own sake.
What Jiang Yizhou identifies with is that he is himself, he is a person, then a son to his parents, a brother to his sister, and next, a citizen of this country...
As for love, Jiang Yizhou does not understand it, so he has pushed it to the bottom of his priority list. For him, it is not something particularly important.
He only feels that the love from two women has raised the priority of love in his life quite a bit, but that's all there is to it.
As for viewing her as a lover or a future family member, how could that be possible?
Even Ding Zhengnan's farewell letter only made the clear-thinking Jiang Yizhou feel jealousy and reluctance.
Jiang Yizhou is a person who is cold-hearted to the bone; this is beyond doubt.
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