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墨書 Inktalez
Feeling the thunderous applause, He Zhou shyly scratched his head.
He walked slowly on stage, hands clasped together, and said, "Actually, everyone knows this is my first time on a show, and I won't be doing any Stand-Up Comedy."
Just when everyone thought he was finally being serious, He Zhou feigned shyness and said, "When I first found out I was going to be on this show, I was really anxious. In my dreams, my hair was falling out in clumps, and it scared me awake, thinking my full head of hair was really gone for good."
A light chuckle came from the audience.
"My dad is really good at comforting people!" He Zhou remarked with a hint of nostalgia.
However, the audience, having caught onto his style, instinctively sensed something off.
He Zhou mimicked his father's tone, saying, "Son, don't be nervous. You've always been smart. Even if your Stand-Up Comedy is different from others, it's fine. They say flowers need green leaves to complement them; just be a good green leaf."
"I thought about it too; I used to want to rise above the muck without getting dirty, but over time I realized it's actually more comfortable being in the muck."
"Wow, this father-son duo is something else!"
"So relatable! When I was a kid, I struggled for a long time deciding between Shuimu University and Peking University. I even thought about how to politely decline offers from other universities' admissions officers. But growing up made me realize that ten years of hard study was just to become an ordinary person..."
"Striving doesn't guarantee success; not striving definitely makes things easier~~"
"Ew! Is this about playing it safe?"
"Not necessarily; maybe it's about lying down and making money while someone rich pays for everything..."
"Selling a contact list of wealthy women from Guangdong; interested parties please add XXXXXx86..."
Various humorous comments flooded the screen.
However, He Zhou didn't forget that this was a Stand-Up Comedy stage and that Yang Li stood beside him with a sour expression.
But honestly, why should I care if you're unhappy? As Zhou Shuren said, human joys and sorrows are not connected; I just find their noise bothersome.
Sometimes people are like this; when they see you struggling, they feel relieved.
"Everyone knows that my relationship status with Yang Li is the same; we are both single," He Zhou said, shrugging his shoulders, while the audience responded with boos. Clearly, due to preconceived notions, these spectators were already quite disinterested in Yang Li.
However, at the same time, some people felt a jolt of realization. They hadn't forgotten how He Zhou had effortlessly taken down Yang Li just moments ago. Now, was he going to drag her out again to ridicule her?
To be fair, the audience was sharp; they guessed correctly. He Zhou was no moral saint; a petty person seeks revenge from dawn till dusk! He hadn’t forgotten how Yang Li had just made fun of him.
As for gentlemanly conduct? Sorry, that’s reserved for ladies, not for Feminists.
"Today is my first meeting with Teacher Yang. Earlier, while we were sitting in the audience, we even discussed a few things." He Zhou deliberately built suspense. "For instance, I asked her, 'Teacher Yang, you're thirty-two this year, right? Why aren't you dating? Is it because you don't want to?'"
"Teacher Yang gave me a disdainful look and replied, 'Why don’t you go to Shuimu? Is it because you don’t want to?'"
"Pfft! Hahaha!"
"The truth is out!"
"Right on point."
Some audience members were confused, while others began to catch on. Yang Li's Weibo wasn’t filled with high-quality single woman rhetoric all the time? However, the so-called label of a high-quality single woman didn’t hold up under scrutiny.
To make an inappropriate analogy, it's like the dishes at a banquet that are left uneaten; they are never left because they are too delicious and appealing. Why do leftover men never consider themselves high-quality? Because they know that a person is never left behind for being too good. If someone is left behind due to being too good, there is only one reason: they lack a mirror and need to take a good look at themselves.
"I was stunned for a moment and replied, 'But I am from Shuimu.'"
This is not just idle talk; the original speaker indeed graduated from Shuimu Primary School, then from Shuimu Middle School, and after the college entrance examination, directly enrolled in Shuimu University. They can be considered a true Shuimu person!
In contrast, Yang Li attended a private third-tier university and scored 286 points on the college entrance exam.
"Teacher Yang was so angry that she wanted to chase me down and hit me; during the chase, she must have lost at least two pounds of foundation!"
"Hahaha!"
"That's too harsh!"
"If you can talk, say more; you should write a book!"
He Zhou waved his hand to stop the laughing audience. "Don't laugh yet; later, Teacher Yang actually gave me a serious answer."
She said, 'It's not that I don't want to date; it's that I'm afraid to date.'
He Zhou stroked his chin and said, "At that time, I was puzzled and asked, 'Is it because you have some hidden ailment, Teacher Yang?'"
This clearly implied something about Yang Li. There were rumors that Yang Li had undergone three abortions and had two miscarriages. Although there was little credibility to these claims, they were evidently brought up in conversation.
"Teacher Yang then shrugged and said it was completely not the case. Her reasons for not dating were different from ours; men who don't understand her criticize her, but once they do understand her—well, they would rather beat her!"
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