But soon, the humiliation of the morning and the accumulated resentment from the past month surged over me like a tidal wave. I gritted my teeth and raised the hammer high...
"I'm sorry..." I whispered, then brought it down with force. After the first strike, I couldn't stop. I lost count of how many times I hit her; all I remember is that when I came to my senses, Ms. Zhang's face was a bloody mess.
I stared in horror at my hands, covered in blood. Trembling, I grabbed a kitchen knife and delivered a few more blows, ensuring she wouldn't survive to testify against me.
That night, the darkness fell over Jinan. I carried a simple duffel bag, blending into the crowd at the bus station. Before leaving the neighborhood, I heard the distant wail of ambulances and police sirens, their sounds whispering like death itself, chasing after me.
I bought a bus ticket to Zibo City, the closest city to Jinan. As I sat on the bus, watching the scenery rush by outside the window, I vaguely recalled an old saying from my hometown: "What you sow is grass; what you reap is thunder."
Throughout the journey, I kept asking myself, "Was it worth it for just a few scoldings?" But there was no turning back now. I had become a murderer.
When I arrived in Zibo City that night, I had no idea where to go. Stepping off the bus, the cold wind pierced through me. I looked around nervously, afraid someone might recognize me.
"Where are you headed, big brother? Need a place to stay?" A young man trying to solicit customers blocked my path.
I stumbled back a few steps, "N-no, I'm fine." My stammering response made me feel like I was fleeing. Later, I thought about how guilty my reaction must have seemed; thankfully, he was just a hustler and didn't think much of it.
I wandered the streets of Zibo City all night, too afraid to find a hotel for fear of having to register my ID.
I slept for a few hours on a park bench, waking up countless times from the cold and nightmares.
When dawn broke, I bought breakfast from a small stall. The owner had the radio on, broadcasting the news: "A violent murder occurred in a community on Cultural West Road in Jinan City. The victim was a 52-year-old woman, and the police suspect it was committed by a male domestic worker. They are currently in full pursuit..."
"How heartless can people be?" the stall owner commented while serving me porridge. "Don't they check these domestic workers? If it were me, I'd catch someone like that and..."
My hands trembled violently, nearly spilling the bowl. I hurriedly tossed some money down and fled without finishing my porridge.
I had become a rat that everyone wanted to chase down. With the little money I had left, I bought a train ticket to Nanjing.
On the train, I dared not speak to anyone. Each time I saw the conductor walk by, I felt a wave of panic wash over me. I imagined the police suddenly bursting onto the train to arrest me.
After arriving in Nanjing, I had very little money left and could only scavenge leftover food from a small restaurant near the train station.
A week later, the restaurant owner began to suspect me: "Where are you from, kid? Why are you always hanging around here?"
I knew I couldn't stay any longer. When I looked in the mirror at a public restroom, I saw a scruffy face with deep-set eyes, looking like a madman.
I stole a chef's jacket from the kitchen in hopes of changing my appearance.
"Hey, you! Stop!" A security guard suddenly shouted at me.
I was terrified and took off running, only to find myself cornered in a dead-end alley, about to be caught. Just as it seemed hopeless, the guard's walkie-talkie crackled to life, and he turned away to handle something else.
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