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At ten o'clock in the evening, I arrived at the train station, and both children were already asleep. Even in the bamboo basket, Xiao Gang was sleeping soundly.
Xiao Gang was born two minutes earlier than his sister, but he was much stronger. I struggled with the decision of who to put in the small basket on my back. With the train about to start ticket inspection, I made a tough decision and put Xiao Gang on my back. Because he was a boy and an older brother, he needed to take care of his weaker sister like a man.
There were many people on the train, and everyone took good care of me when they saw me with two such young children. When it was time to feed them, a big sister even helped me wrap them in a sheet.
The next day, the two children kept crying and making a scene. I was afraid of bothering others, so I could only walk back and forth in the limited space of the carriage. At that time, I was young and thought that the children were crying because there were many people on the train and the ride was bumpy, and the children just hadn't slept well. For many years after that, I regretted countless times, thinking that if I had just gone back at that time, it would have been better.
The train journey lasted for over thirty hours, and we finally arrived in Xining. Xiao Gang and Xiaomei fell asleep, not crying or making a fuss, just sleeping. I finally breathed a sigh of relief and got off the train with the children. Chen Hui had told me before that we would have to take another two days on a long-distance bus from Xining to reach Golmud. Just the thought of Chen Hui waiting for me in the hospital made me anxious, and I just wanted to see him as soon as possible. On the long-distance bus, I wrapped Xiao Gang and Xiaomei together with a small blanket and secured it with a belt around my waist, holding them close to my chest. Before the bus started moving, I lifted the blanket and touched their little faces. Their almost transparent skin shimmered in the sunlight.
Xiao Gang moved a bit, didn't put his thumb in his mouth as usual. Both children's faces were a bit red and felt a little hot when touched. I opened the small blanket, thinking they were hot from being covered. I sat by the window and quickly fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already dark outside.
I immediately pressed my face against the children's foreheads and suddenly realized that their whole faces were very hot. Both children were running a fever.
Despite the crowded train, I opened my clothes to breastfeed the children. Xiao Gang always ate first, as I knew he got hungry faster than his sister. But when I put the nipple in Xiao Gang's mouth, he just moved a bit and didn't eat at all.
Xiao Mei's situation is the same as that of his older brother, with no signs of wanting to breastfeed at all. This kind of situation has never happened before, and I was completely flustered, so I stretched my hand into the bed and felt them, finding that their whole bodies were scorching hot.
" Xiao Gang, Xiao Mei..." I started calling out their names in a small voice, although the children are only over a year old, but they already recognize me as mom. Every time I go to pick them up from the family daycare after work, as long as I call out their names, they will smile at me and stretch out their hands for me to hug.
The people on the car were all asleep, looking like locals, I was crying and holding the two children up, standing in the carriage and asking: "Is there a doctor on this train? Who can save my children?"
Several people gathered around me, speaking in a dialect I couldn't understand. Judging from their expressions and shaking heads, I could tell that my child seemed very ill. I placed my child in a seat and walked to the driver's side, suddenly kneeling down in front of the driver. "My husband is a blasting worker on the Qinghai-Tibet railway. He had an accident, and I'm taking the children to see their father... Now both children have a very high fever. Master driver, can you take us to the hospital?"
The driver was a middle-aged man with a dark complexion. He sighed and, in unskilled Mandarin, said to me, "Look outside, where is there a hospital? We'll have to wait until we reach Golmud tomorrow to find a hospital."
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