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墨書 Inktalez
I picked up Xiao Gang and Xiaomei, and took turns feeding the two children. In my mind, all I could think about were the scenes from the first blind date to the marriage with Chen Hui.
In our time, there were very few cases of free love, it was mostly through introductions by elders. Our matchmaker was Zhao, a teacher at our school. The day we met was at Zhao's house, and Chen Hui and I were both stunned when we saw each other, and we simultaneously called out each other's names.
Chen Hui and I were classmates in elementary school, but we lost contact after graduating. When we met again, we had endless topics to talk about. After it ended, I wanted to arrange the next meeting with him, but Chen Hui sincerely told me:
"This blind date was arranged by my matchmaker, and I didn't expect it to be you. But actually, I had already made up my mind when I came here. My job is too dangerous, and I don't plan to get married. I don't want a girl to marry me and become a widow in a few years, do you understand? Let's just be ordinary friends."
I was stunned for a moment and asked him what he did for a living. Chen Hui candidly told me that he works in demolition. People in the road construction industry know that demolition work is very dangerous, and demolition workers are also known as "pioneers of road opening."
Through his narration, I learned about "permafrost on the plateau," "high-altitude hypoxia," and how "Soviet experts once asserted after inspecting the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau that it would be unimaginable for the world's most skilled engineers and experts to build a railway across the Kunlun and Tanggula Mountains..."
When it comes to work, Chen Hui seems like a different person, full of excitement and happiness, as if enveloped in a halo. It was at that moment that I was determined to be with Chen Hui. We went from dating to getting married in just one month, and after getting the marriage certificate, we had a simple meal with friends. Looking at the "double happiness" character posted on the wall, I suddenly had a surreal feeling. Not long after we got married, Chen Hui had to return to Xining. At that time, I still didn't know how dangerous the job of a "demolition worker" could be.
Two months after he left, I always felt uncomfortable in my stomach. I went to the hospital for a check-up and found out that I was pregnant. When Chen Hui called, I told him the news of my pregnancy. He was very happy, but soon became silent. We didn't speak for a minute on the phone. Finally, he seemed to have made up his mind and started persuading me: "Lili, you have to work and take care of the child alone, and I can't come back to help you... How about we don't have the child for now, and wait until later..." I know Chen Hui is doing this for my own good, but I feel that since I chose to marry him in the first place, we should face the future difficulties together.
I have decided to keep the baby.
For this, I went back to my mother's home for help, but my family favors boys over girls, and my mother also has to take care of my brother's children, so she can't help me.
My sister-in-law seemed a little hesitant and followed me out, saying, "That Chen Hui, he has cut off ties with his parents, and his job is basically risking his life. He says he'll die if he wants to. His father spends money and finds people to get him a job at a bank, but Chen Hui just won't come back. He says the Qinghai-Tibet line needs him more, as if the earth won't turn without him... You, you should consider yourself more."
It's supposed to be comforting words, but every word feels like a stab in the heart.
I know that receiving this call from the leader indicates that Chen Hui may not be with us for much longer.
Chen Hui has never met the two children, so I am determined to take the two one-year-old children to see him for the last time. I found a small bamboo basket, lined it with a small blanket, put Xiao Gang in it and carried it on my back, holding little Mei with one hand and a bag with the other. The things in the bag are all things the children need, like milk powder and bottles.
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