Why do I feel lost in the end?
What can I grab onto when I hold onto something tightly?
One moment I'm excited, the next I feel a little sad.
I don't want it to be like this.
Telling me "321" is not a countdown.
Count again, one, two, three, guess the next word.
You're always like this.
Roommate Y's father came over and said he wanted to see him.
"There's nothing to entertain him with."
Maybe I said this on the phone, they didn't come back until very late, maybe they had dinner. It's almost midnight, let's cook some noodles. They have all become distant and unfamiliar, like mannequins. I'm not hungry, I'm just craving. I'll eat later at night.
I never understand why I always have to make things difficult for myself, it's really annoying. I feel like a useless person.
Can I eat these offerings? I'm starving.
I enjoy being hungry, I like the feeling of my stomach being all twisted up.
I remember teaching my dad to sing when I was a child. He always mumbled the words on purpose, perhaps because he was shy.
She is a luxury to meet.
That night we fell asleep watching TV, with the air conditioning on low. He said he would treat me to dinner tomorrow, but I don't know what to eat, and I don't think I will go.
I remember that summer, almost the same summer, you were by my side, and I could see you every day when I woke up. And now I lean on the old pillow, touching my sore neck, and soon it will be summer again.
Is all this real, or am I dreaming? I miss you so much, but meeting is just a luxury. The high brows and deep-set eyes of yours linger in my mind, both the frown and the charm are so beautiful and nostalgic. Can I curl up in your arms like a resting cat swimming in the water, and rest my forehead against your embrace? On this dazzling night, I miss you so much, can I gather just one percent of you, is that too much to ask, you rascal?
But I might just die one day without wearing clothes
I really miss you so much, my heart has erected a monument. Reliving that dream, but not cherishing it.
I have also met such a silly boy.
His wedding, on a certain day, suddenly, by the water, not a stream, not a river, not even the sea, with a few rocks standing by, not pillars, not quartz. He glanced over from the other side and suddenly felt it was today, so he got married in this place. No one attended the wedding. When he recalls it, it's all hazy, that distant era has long passed.
Elusive dreams.
When you pass through that place again, no one greets you, even if it was always like that before, but you no longer recognize any of the passersby.
The stomach flows like slime with every breath.
Found an excuse, and had another lunch. Craving for roasted chicken, finally had the last meal. Twenty-one pieces, whether it's dead or alive, I only know I'm very hungry. Fresh, juicy, and crispy on the outside, tender on the inside. I haven't eaten anything good, and my stomach can't taste anything good either. No need to eat noodles for lunch anymore.
Feeling stuffed in the stomach.
This is,
Being alive...
Eating a full meal, life is so beautiful.
Riding a bicycle on the slope at my grandma's house, I saw a younger brother I had never met before riding a guitar. It was a motorcycle, and turning the handlebars would produce music. I remember jokingly suggesting that he change it to a black motorcycle, so it would be rock and roll. A few antennas on the back pipe sparked and burst into flames. "Isn't it cool?!"
Suddenly I am on the run again, as if returning to a dream I once had. I held the person at gunpoint and let him go. "People with children can't be too bad. Take care of that girl," I said to him as we parted ways, trying to awaken his conscience from across the road, as if he were some kind of bad person.
A hill full of banana trees, with a large windmill in the middle. Suddenly, I remembered seeing it in a photo. I woke up on the sofa, feeling as if I had been hit by a musical scale. It's really strange.
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